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what can i say, today was a wild card. woke up from a dream; the dream happen to be a day i will always remember, it was before i moved while at school. i was always shy but that day something changed. still looking for the possible meaning behind it. while in school the professor let us know that our test would be this friday and our final the next. i will admit i have to do good on both to pass. after class i talked with the chairman and after a few explanations and some gatherings of paperwork, i was given the last and final slot of the internship program for next semester, i was able to beat a few people on the waiting list. i can feel a strange feeling coming over me know, don’t know how to really explain it but we will see what happens. while at work i was put straight to work, somedays it’s slow others not so much, i was here, there, jumping from one place to another, going to different buildings to turn stuff in and get files too. on the return trip home it was getting a bit colder but i knew what i had to do. i arrived home prepped the tumbler and changed clothes and headed to the park. today wasn’t as cold as it was yesterday. it felt good to forget about everything for an hour and concentrate on not getting hit or kidnapped. lol. after arriving back home i started on the things i needed to catch up on. it is a lot of work but it is asking for very little, will continue this the whole weekend and finals week too. that was my adventure for the day. i hope all had a good day and it is time for me to sleep. good night and sweet dreams to you.

O_o

time to wrap it up now, i cut myself off cold turkey from the social world to get things done, it did help, today everything is riding on getting my project turned in tomorrow. i am just hoping for a good grade, above all i have never withdrawn from a class and i wonder if staying was a good thing, the only thing that worries me is getting everything turned in. had way better days then today, something was off today, not sure what it was but i am certain something was off. time to sleep. i will get back to the social world tomorrow. i do miss it but i had to get things done and needed to take drastic measures if not i would have not been able to stay focused. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

what a day this federal holiday has been. it is veterans day and i had to go to school and work. i thought i would have a day to recover, woke up more rested then usual but obviously a little later too. made it to class with a minute to spare. sat in my seat and professor had just pulled out the grade book to recored if we were present or absent. i was lucky. after that was going to go straight to work but forgot to grab my badge. rushed home and checked in really fast and took off to work. stayed my usual hours but skipped lunch since i had lots track of time and a little before i left i started to get hungry. i was able to finish all of the work that was left over, had a few minutes to talk with the supervisor and then we were off. i thought it would be good to have pasta since i was craving it. i stopped by the store and picked up what i needed and arrived home cooking. i sat down trying to watch everything and was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. i got one of many reports finished and just completed the second one. thats why i am now writing this. tried to take a break and when ii did remembered what i had talked to the supervisor about and that why i had a few questions to ask. i really appreciate your help. i hope everyone has had a great day. but it is time for me to get some rest. falling asleep and got some busy days ahead of me. two to be exact. may you all have a good night and sweet dreams to you.

O_o

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

today was another busy sunday. it all started this morning when i was dreaming, the dream was of my recent visit to the zoo, it was a view from the past, what was crazy was the i was looking for a document in one of my folders and the picture i took was there. i looked at the date and it was the same, it was a year ago today. after that the whole day consisted of reminders of everything. when i was woken up by tumbler to go out for his business i bundled up, it was a bit chilly, came back in and since it was early i decided to make a tea, after the tea i was going to watch television when all of a sudden i had passed out and fell asleep again. during this sleep the dreams got sweeter, they were great, all three of them you were incorporated with some how. in a way it was great because since i haven’t seen you and i miss you, every know and then i remember the good time we had, even just the little random spur of the moments. but i think what hurt most was losing you as a friend. as the dreams came to an end i was woken up by tumbler snoring, yeah dogs snore. lol. i got up and made me some tacos and got to writing my report papers for work. started on some notes for class and got through the first chapter, i hope what i thought would be on the next test is relevant to what i wrote down. after a while before i knew my parents wanted to have dinner, me and my aunt ran to the store and got some things for the week. while in the store we passed by the coffee isle and i was struck with the sudden urge to get coffee; another thing you brought to my attention that i never thought of doing myself, as i passed by i could smell all of the coffee but could smell one more then all the others, it had vanilla smell to it and i was in search for it, it had taken me a while but it was behind another pack. it smelt really good and am excited to be trying it. after getting home and sorting everything my parents arrived shortly after and i got ready in a flash and headed out to dinner. i normally used to over indulge but after getting in the habit of eating normal portions i got full faster. it was as if my stomach muscles shrunk. lately i get full faster. i just hope i can continue and keep dieting to see what is next for me. after getting home a little while ago i had to start getting ready for bed, i feel so old going to sleep really early but i guess that is what happens as you get older. i hope all had a good day. hope you are well. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

had a busy day, a busy one that i was constantly jumbling trying to do four things at once. i had files i had to see, read, file and anything else you do with a government file. all the information was small that i had to keep constantly keep looking at what i was doing. it wasn’t as difficult as they said it would be, i got it done as fast and neatly as i could, i ran over a few files that surprised me, i thought for a few moments they were a conflict. as i continued to close it it wasn’t. it is that kind of information that i valuable to all. i could get in a lot of trouble for making a copy or even taking it out the office. these files contain a lot of personal information that is not public knowledge as some records are now-a-days. after lunch i had many more files to do. i had to stay later then usual to finish up. i have an insane day tomorrow. i don’t think any of my busy days will compare to any of my other busy days. going to have to take it one piece at a time. here goes. time to sleep. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

update: alright world, i have watched you carefully and have done my best to take care of you. now i am putting my fate in you hands. and go!

O_o

what a day. i am exhausted. i kept waking up last night after every ninety minutes, it was just for a brief minute or two then fell back asleep. i think it was from being paranoid and all the crazy new i had heard from yesterday. i was once told “you can not un-know something.” with yesterday i think i was inspired to really work harder in everything i do. i sometimes wonder why bad things happen to us when we do no wrong to others. but those are just brief moments when i have time to think. lately i have been really busy. school and work is taking over my life now. i am awaiting a very important phone call. i think i was called but i never answer a unknown number. if you want me to answer just show your number, i will be more then happy to answer. i know what is nearing, i have been overwhelmed with so many things that i have come to realize that i do miss quite a few things in my life, not to mention the dreams i have had; they continue and always surprise me in the morning. i know it sucks because i had everything i ever wanted. i know they say the heart wants what the heart wants. i know what i want but can’t have it. i have tried ever so much. i do not know what to do anymore. i miss you like crazy. i have never said anything until now. done with home work for now. time to get some rest. tomorrow is another long day. stay safe. hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

agua O_o

this has got to  have been one of the strangest and weirdest weekends i ever had. it all started friday morning. slept in and other stuff was going on around me at the same time and i didn’t even know about. as the day went on something happened that i am not very proud of and has never ever happen to me; my keys; well i rather not say because it is too embarrassing, to say out loud let alone to write down in text. because of a phone call all of my plans had to be rescheduled or mainly modified. i drove.

drove for a bit. arrived and was able to settle in for a few minutes before going to search for my brother. he was celebrating his return back from visiting asia. how cool is that! pretty rad if you ask me. found him and i had that silent tear; you know the single one that is just released from your eye when you  are extremely happy, yeah that one. we and some other friends conversed. meanwhile below the border my parents went to visit my sick uncle and take him to a specialist farther outside of the city and back here i arrived home and got to thinking if there were new plans in the near future. but there is still so much i need to accomplish before some plans can go into effect.

after waking up i wasn’t feeling so well, mold and ragweed were high, but the crazy thing is i have never been allergic until then, the day went on and we went to have a dinner party for a friend who was born half a century ago. i was continuing to feel bad, i cut the night was short and headed home. i was almost asleep when i got a phone call to be a designated driver. i picked up my brother and friend from the road and returned back home to sleep. meanwhile i had received another call from my parents earlier that day that they were safely on there way back; or so i thought.

i was woken up to tumbler (my dog) getting sick and puking on the carpet. of course i had to get up really fast and remove and clean. i did just that. i had a few things to do. well more then a few. when i got to the dishes my mind stopped running a thousand miles an hour. i think the sound of water calms me down or maybe the feeling of water. i have yet to figure out what it is. by this time my parents were already home. i left this afternoon to go home. i was driven and met halfway through. we stayed for a bit and said our goodbyes after a little quality time that was there. on the way home my parents let me know what had happened. this is where it gets weird and strange.

apparently every time we had visited that part of the city we always end up losing and animal dearest to us. my mom had told me that our old dog had a cold for a few days now. even with all the care and medicine it didn’t help. my dad let her run free and she just walked to the back of the shed. normally she was a strong and brilliant dalmatian. she had a lot of what tumbler has know, i think he picked it up from her and some pointers from me as well. my dad said she was in plain sight and then she disappeared. my dad went looking for her when she wouldn’t answer her name being called out. she had walked farther away from from the house and removed herself from sight when she passed away. she passed away of natural causes, she was quite old. but she like our other dogs and pups will never be forgotten. we will miss you brittany, we love you girl. may you rest in peace and go visit our other canine family in doggy heaven. and if that wasn’t enough to bare, the kept going and told me what happened on the return trip.

while on their way back from the doctor and passing all the check points they were stopped by a federal cop truck and pulled off the side of the road. my dad was wondering what he had done wrong. it was broad daylight and he wasn’t drunk or speeding or being reckless in anyway shape or form. the official asked my dad to step out of the car and pop the trunk and hood of the rental car. he inspected the hood quickly and then returned farther away from the car with the trunk still opened. he asked my dad several questions. my dad answered with no problem. it was until the official assumed my dad had money and was lying. on a side note my dad has never done any of that, he is a well respected contractor in the business. he normally doesn’t carry a high amount of money on his person. as the official he told him that he would be going to jail. he brought out handcuffs and asked him what he wanted to do, at this point my dad was thinking that he was never going to see his wife, kids and family ever again. he was thinking the worst possible. as i am hearing this i am furious and thinking to myself, if anything like that ever were to happen i would pull the sort of stunt that you see in movies. i’ll just leave it at that.

he offered his last one hundred dollar bill to the official, mind you the officer had a loaded machine gun. while all this is going on my mom, aunt and uncle are in the car trying to listen and see what is going on. but they can’t since they were far away from the car. no one around for miles. they told him that he was going to jail and whoever was in the car would go about there business. at the same time there are three other men in the truck and also with loaded weapons. my dad highly believe what was going down was, what has been seen on the news lately over the border. with the offering my dad said that was his last hundred dollar bill and it was for the return trip home. the man was furious and said if he wanted them back that he would be sent to jail. the man refused to take the money where the others would see and the official asked him to make it as if they were shaking hands to make the swap. luckily the man let them go. my dad was saying at that moment in time he felt his life was just worth a hundred dollars and that the other guy could care less what happened next.

as they pressed on to reach the border my dad said he felt dead inside. no feeling what so ever. literally as if his life flashed before his eyes. he said no matter what until this drug war and corruption continues he would not return; until it is fixed. by the looks of things doen’t look like it will be stopping anytime soon. as soon as they hit american soil was when he felt alive again. we were on protected and safe soil. with great appreciation of cops and other s who serve, he know saw why we our such a great country.

my mom was saying what would happen if it did actually happen. but instead i swayed her mind from thinking like that and know there is a higher power that can protect with some faith. i didn’t know whether to me sad or angry at what happened but all i know is that i had the biggest epiphanies this weekend due to everything that happened this weekend. there are other missing parts to this story but i am choosing to leave them out. it makes me angry at what they are doing., hurting innocent people for a few extra bucks in their pocket tax free. there is more i would like to say but can’t.

some things will be looked into because of my epiphanies, let’s just see what happens. i am extremely tired and i wish everyone stays safe. have a good night and dream happy dreams.

O_o

what a day today has been; it was a productive day with so many things to do. woke up, met with some friends, was fed so much food for a morning brunch and then came back home. met a few more friends to watch the longhorn game, we left at half time because they were losing and decided to catch it at home. began doing work. had to figure out way to manage my time since everything is going to be crucial in these next few weeks. i am excited but i do not want to go through some things. i answered a life questionnaire that i was asked to for the position and it was about thirty pages long. it went deeply into my life, wanted to know just about everything. well by the end of filling out all the paperwork i had about fifty pages; talk about saving a tree. it is early and already falling asleep. you know you are getting old when you do homework and start falling asleep early on a saturday night. well hope all had a good day. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

what a day! today was exhausting and it is only thursday. i have a lot of homework to do this weekend and a lot of reading and notes to take to make up for the day i missed. after class today i was very energized and i got to work and knew it was going to be a long day. i had a few hours to make up. taking a long lunch, everyone has been great, i am glad to work there. i know is is coming to an end soon but something else is getting closer by the days. i am excited and at the same time very anxious. after that more to do and it looks like no breaks anytime soon. tomorrow will be my busiest day ever. so much to do in a short amount of time. am way too tired even after a short nap to go into great detail. but i hope everyone had a good day. i did, i was working for nine hours. if you can imagine being on your feet for that long it is tiring. i wish all to have a good night and happy dreaming.

O_o