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Tag Archives: knowledge

i was able to post a few pictures of of the party. what i didn’t want to say yesterday was i thought i would never release emotions like i did on the drive back home. i was super grateful for the opportunity that was presented to me. i was sad that i was leaving it all behind and having to get back to the real world. i took some advice from a friend who recommended some classes online and have started listening to the classes. it was a logic class and everything they were mentioning i had already learned in philosophy class. i am going to get to learning and filling my brain with knowledge because i miss school and am excited to go back. catch you later.

O_o

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papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

had a busy day, a busy one that i was constantly jumbling trying to do four things at once. i had files i had to see, read, file and anything else you do with a government file. all the information was small that i had to keep constantly keep looking at what i was doing. it wasn’t as difficult as they said it would be, i got it done as fast and neatly as i could, i ran over a few files that surprised me, i thought for a few moments they were a conflict. as i continued to close it it wasn’t. it is that kind of information that i valuable to all. i could get in a lot of trouble for making a copy or even taking it out the office. these files contain a lot of personal information that is not public knowledge as some records are now-a-days. after lunch i had many more files to do. i had to stay later then usual to finish up. i have an insane day tomorrow. i don’t think any of my busy days will compare to any of my other busy days. going to have to take it one piece at a time. here goes. time to sleep. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

well my parents just arrived, wished my pops a happy birthday, he is now three decades older then me, it is crazy to think he still looks young for his age despite the peper hair, in his line of work i know how hard it is, if anyone thinks there job is hard, i beg to differ, i would put my salary on it. i can guarantee that NO ONE can last a day in his shoes. that is a promise. he is my hero and i have always seen him like that, even when i found my report of the greatest hero ever; i listed him. i know he wants the best for all of us, everyone does. i am breaking my head trying to show my dad i can over come anything but right now i feel like i am going to explode, i stopped myself from having a headache by telling myself i had no time to deal with it and it went away shortly after getting back to my studies. what i thought was going to be easy really isn’t, this is the toughest thing i have ever done, try to manage two classes on my own time. even with all the time in the world i am afraid i am slipping from the good into the bad, i am not trying to sabotage myself because i love to learn, i just need a little time to be able to figure it all out, but the thing is i don’t have the time that i would need. my brain feels fried but i want to keep moving forward and on top of all that my parents just let me know that my uncle is really sick, he is in mexico and they were there visiting him again, when it’s not one thing it’s always another. can or will this family ever get a break. i guess me trying isn’t good enough, i guess i will have to do everything to pull through on this one, i am seriously thinking of just rolling into a ball and letting go. i don’t know what to do anymore. in conclusion do i fight for what is right or just accept what is?

to needing it O_o

today woke up slightly late but had to get stuff done, left my socializing alone and got to work, went for 5 hours strait, in there we slight drink/snack breaks, threw my headphones in again and went at it, it felt as if I was in control of my own little universe. in a way it was great but at the same time it felt like solitary confinement, I was reading up on all the juvenile chapters given and learned and fixed some of my knowledge of juveniles. some stuff that I looked over reminded me of my psychology class, good’ol times I remember. 🙂 with that it reminded me that I have to talk to my head of my department to get my classes for next semester. I am so close but yet so far from actually having a piece of paper that says I am done. I guess “with great power comes great responsibilities.” in conclusion today was very well driven and productive, with YOUR help I can achieve it all.

will never thank you enough O_o

reading this book is making me think. I know it’s a big series of books about a certain kind of story but what it makes me wonder is the three characters here are all sort of like me. I act like two of them as one but feel what the other has gone through, the bigger wonder is if I would ever be able to recover, I have always been hurt, is it just bad timing? am I even caple of giving it?? should I know what it is??? what do i need to change???? or not change????? I know right this second that I am not ready for anything new but friendships, walls that have never been up feel like they are going up around the center, I don’t know what the future holds for me now but all I can do for now is try, Try TRY! I have a new determination that I had several times ago, that was helped into seeing, to achieve my goals in life. I want a career, a degree and to get accepted. that is what I want for the time being. I do miss a lot of things, like they say “take it day by day, one step at a time.” I don’t really know how to cope on this one, nothing was done wrong to me. I do need a little help with this one. in conclusion, I know what I want, but will need all the help, push, motivation and determination to help me get there. please.

to a living soul O_o