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Monthly Archives: April 2010

all you had to do was talk to me, I understand a lot more about the situation, we are in the same boat as we have seen. doesn’t mean you have to go through it all yourself. it is time to learn from our past to make a future. i sometimes would like your help and sometimes you need my help. there is always someone you can talk to. i am not here to judge, it is now time to grow up for both of us. i did not mean to portray all those things you thought, again all you have to do is communicate. the signs are all around us even though everyone chooses to avoid them or look ast them. you dodged a bullet this time, you always got to keep in the back of your head next time who knows what may happen. just be smart and careful about what you do. i know you and your family to well to let you mess up. everything is understandable.

stronger bond O_o

“In your ocean I’m ankle deep,
I feel the waves crashing on my feet;
It’s like I know where I need to be
But I can’t figure out,
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your wave washes over me,
There’s only one way to figure out!
Will you let me drown?”

good lyrics, spoke to me so clearly. looked up the song meaning and means that we are taught that inspiration is just around the corner, but the problem is, it may not be until the next couple corners that we finally see it. Super True! it took me a while to see what I wanted and with talking and everyone’s help, I found “something beautiful” (my inspiration). Thank You to everyone it means so much, time to prove to everyone, well myself that I was lost and now I know exactly what to do.


to achieving big goals O_o

“don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. try to be better than yourself.” – William Faulkner

in these past 3 hours i have found out so much about ME and how scary it will be to accept this and finally move on to bigger and better things…if that is what comes next after GRADUATING. It has taken me this long with a kick and a needed shove to create a drive and push to finally complete this! I see what goes on around and I think I am officially ready to JUMP off the ledge and take a leap into the REAL REAL WORLD, where CAREERS are MADE and ENDED.

to moving forward,


I can only watch so much TV without getting bored, as I watched, couldn’t help but understand the pain and ridicule that the singer/character played. I understand it must be hard for her IRL to do what her character does on the episode. It hurts to hear others judge one for what they look like on the out side; when in reality they are the ones who need to look in the mirror. I have accepted ME can YOU accept me?! if not, your loss.


I passed by a wrecked earlier and thought to my self; ” what was the cause of the accident?” and from a distant it looks like the subject was explaining something to the officer on site but as we drove closer and closer the subject was actually screaminge at the officer. Looked like a case of the bad Mondays, why can we all just get along?! must road-rage be an end to all man-kind well??


I am FINALLY finished after 6 hours of vibrations, cutting and pushing. Felt as if I got run over by a tractor, but in this turmoil I found something that another lost, It felt as if I was on top of a tower and could locate my house from being so high up. while pushing and shoving made things worse for me I couldn’t help but wonder why I found this? but realized how no matter what; we are connect, no matter the distance between us, no matter what we say, no matter what we do, WE ARE A TRINITY. Nothing can break us or move us but ourself. Others have tried and have failed. The bond is so strong that we will soon cover more surface. But as much as we all feel like hell sometimes we still all have each other. Thanks.


I am finally taking off your saddle and changing your shoes. I put this off and you have been acting slightly poorly and whiny but today the doctor is in and it is time I figured out your diagnosis.

Dr. Torres

I found out something about me that I have only dreamed of telling someone if it was a problem or if it was just paranoia. come to realize that Fiesta and large groups of people frighten me for the extent that in this world I can only control one thing, that one thing is…ME! I can’t control every situation but I can sure prevent something bad from happening when I value life too preciously to have someone else ruin it for me at the blink of an eye or by surprise. I will ONE DAY overcome this fear/paranoia. It is the best I can do…FOR NOW.


Stop feeding the flame!!!


what people don’t know wont hurt them, right?! WRONG!!!!! On 4/20/2010 it mark a Special Day and a Horrific Day for ME, the special day was a 6 monthsary (month + anniversary) of being together with –SomeOneSpecial– and had constant reminders and epiphanies about how life is, that many few people know of me, a stupid, reckless, careless, nieve, old persona I USED too be and in that horrific day marked 6 years of me being in a “state” I wish no one would endure for any reason what so ever, it was a scary time for me and it changed me to the person YOU know today and knew/know nothing of my past.

“my only weakness is you,

only reason is you,

every minute with you

I feel like I can do anything,

you changed my whole life”

This is a dreadful day for me because it always reminds me of a “what if” moment, it only happens once a year and frightens me EVERY TIME but I am SUPER glad I was able to keep constant reminder of what is more important to me and you brought me back to reality and not to dwell on the past because it would bring me down. There is NO more down, all I see is up, Up, UP! Thank You. I’m not sure if you/anyone will understand this.


was sleeping and remembered this portion of a dream, i’ve recently started to let you grow because it was something different and has been a long time since you can reach the back; according to this it indicates that you are thinking long and carefully before making some decision and are concentrating on some plan or situation. it couldn’t have said it any better myself, it is difficult to decide on the situation.