Clown

I think I have finally come to discover why clowns are one of my biggest fears. It all started back many many years ago; I was a child and I was about to go to sleep when I remember it was a month before Halloween I saw an advertisement that had a clown on it with candies for sale. I thought nothing of it at the time. I went to sleep and while asleep, I had a dream that I was at a recreation center for a birthday party and was having a blast with all the other kids and my family when a clown surprised the center and nearly scared me half to death. I remember running back to my family and just remember the feeling as if the clown was chasing me and then I woke up. After some time awake of the freight I went back to sleep. That next day we went over to my cousins house and I was tricked into watching “IT” and from then, all I could remember was the paranoid feeling of being chased and watched by clown(s). Til this day I am still weirded out by clowns with tons of make up because I don’t know the person under the make up and what they’re capable of doing.

phobia

grid

Going to fall off the grid for a few days. May you R.I.P. and will see you soon.

secret

today has been mostly about dealing with the news of yesterday, i will not be at ease until my parents return, they have already been through one scare on their last trip out of the state, i would be there with them, i just don’t have a passport, i know i should have gotten it but i have held it off for too long. since today was not as cheerful i decided to listen to music all day, i still had my new years project to work on. i found several undiscovered songs and wish to use them. i fell asleep listen to music and woke up to take off my headphones and here the thunder outside, tumbler was scared and kept getting up because the floor would shake. time to get some more sleep, good night and dream freely.

update

well its been about a week now, it was time to get stuff done for a change, i am starting off the new year with some not so great news, in these past two months our family has lost three people because of illnesses. i don’t know what else is happening around the world, just in my world. we received a phone call early in the morning about the passing away of a cousins’ child. he passed away of leukemia. a few days ago we had another relative pass away with aids; i did mention it before in my previous blogs. then we received news of my uncle being admitted in the hospital for unrelated occurrences. my parents had to go out of the state and well, country. i did have a great conversation and i am super glad i was able to talk to you today, like i told you there are days i just don’t know what to say. i do miss our long talks we used to have. there are a few things i wish for but i will have to wait and see what will happen. i have to go attend to my family right now. good night and happy dreaming.

departure

what a day! woke up and had to do a few loads of laundry. nothing drastic but it had to be done. since the new year is around the corner i haven’t cut my hair in a few weeks. while i was there i was looking at a hair book, thought i would change it up a bit but i didn’t have enough hair to complete some of the new looks i decided to keep it plain and simple. before i got up the barber asked me if i wanted a design since i had cut it like a few people who ask for the request i asked for. it reminded me of a day you showed me a picture and i joked around saying i would. it made me laugh and giggle for a little while. my brother wanted me to put lightning bolts, as cool as it sounds i don’t think i would ever do it. during that i received a phone call from my brother and had to call him back. when i did he gave me some great news. i have to prepare a few things and i have an early morning departure from home. i get to be put to work for the new year. i am very grateful for this. i hope all had a good day and happy early-ish birthday. =) time for me to sleep. good night and sweet dreams.

 

overload

i just overloaded my self with too much to do today. ever since i woke up i had something to do, i did wake up later then usual that’s besides the point. i was woken up to tumbler laying across my feet, he was trying to wake me up but not trying to be subtle about it, he had business to take care of too. i opened my computer and logged into my email and found a few dozen unchecked emails, some were reminders and some were un-important, the one that mattered the most was about me returning my textbook from where i rented it from. i rushed and washed up and got ready to head off in town to tak care of it. i made it just in time and got my tracking number to trace if they have received it or not in time. i made a quick stop to the store and piked up a few items and got home to make dinner. hours later i was inspired to try to finish my project. after looking through over thousands of songs i gave myself a headache and overloaded my brain with small text. i got what i needed and have some work to do tomorrow. its late and i am about to shower and go to sleep. i will catch up soon. good night and sweet dreams. =)

trip

continuing from my other post. the more my parents talk about what happened the more angrier i got with my family. well actually i am more disgusted with them. i can’t stand when people segregate or discriminate for what ever reason. i know i have said it when i was younger and never knew the connotation behind it until one day i was threatened with my life and it is when i asked the principal what it meant. she explained to me what it was and ever since then had learned my lesson.

on a side note i am just glad that my parents and rest of the family is home safely. i had completed everything i needed to do while my parents were away and what they asked me to do too. i was a little inspired and started on a new project that will debut soon. i hope all had a good day, it is late and going to fall asleep soon. good night and sweet dreams.

home

my parents are home safe from mexico and the funeral but the problems that come after a passing are horrible. the gentleman who passed away was a family member on my moms side, he had passed away with aids. the family believes that it’s like leprosy. they thought it is the worse thing that can happen to someone. by doctors orders they had to burn his stuff. to me it’s bad to hear. there is more I have to say I just need to recollect my thoughts.

sad

this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

christmas

dear whomever it may concern,

my christmas wasn’t so great. but i am not going to complain, even though i received nothing i am still slightly grateful i was able to spend it with my family. my little brother wasn’t able to come home, now i know what he felt like when i or my older brother was not able to visit. i do understand times are tough, people got to work and stuff has to get done. i know i shouldn’t brag about how great this day is and i won’t because what would have made it complete would be my little brother show up. i was able to spend time with tumbler too, this has been one of the greatest day for tumbler though, he was spoiled with care, food, shelter and playtime. we are now getting ready to go to sleep and he is laying down at feet keeping them warm. i hope all go what they asked santa for. i know i did because i asked for nothing but to spend time with my family and dog. i hope friends received what i sent out to them in time. it is time to say my goodbyes and wake up fo another day closer to a new year. if you didn’t know i love you. i don’t know how to say it any better. i hope all had a great christmas and to all good night and sweet dreams.

thank you,

orlandot

mess

everything is messy today and has gone wrong today. i woke up late, i was out of food to make breakfast but i was still able to have my coffee, but the last errands i had to run got sidetracked because i was asked to go to the mall and try to find some stuff and to make a few payments. i got ready and headed out, it was horrible! i disliked it very much, there are not many things i dislike but this ranks up there. i felt claustrophobic everywhere i walked. people screaming and kids yelling and on top of that took me about half an hour to find parking. ugh. tomorrow is near, going to visit my friend and go to the gym. i hope all have a great day. see y’all later.

clean

what a day, woke up early to take the dog out and wait for the cable guy. the internet has been going out and so has the cable box and the appointment was today early in the morning to get it fixed. since the problem could not be fixed we got all boxes switched out. the guy took around an hour and i really had to get to my parents house. after i signed my soul away on the contract and the cable guy left, i got ready and headed to my parents house. we are going to have family over for christmas and i had to remove a few things from the room. i was there mostly all day with out a single bite to eat. i was too concentrated on getting everything fixed up and organized. on the drive home is when it hit me that i hadn’t eaten since the morning, i had a bowl of cereal. finally i had eaten and i woke up from a slight nap a little while ago. i still have more stuff to do tomorrow and i am cutting it really short. time for me to get some real sleep. i hope all had a good day. be safe. good night and sweet dreams.