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Tag Archives: sign

What’s different now? What happened that changed everything? I am doing everything right and possibly more and still can’t be in my favor. What you see on the outside is similar to whats on the inside but minor adjustments. I never quit or give up but there is only so much I can endure. That my mind and body will even let me. I never wanted a change so bad in my life until now and now that all the signs aren’t in my favor and are pushing me farther away; is that life ways telling me that this is not for me and to try eles where? Why does no one just give me a straight answer and quit beating around the bush. I really dislike what it is doing to me, figuratively speaking. You can see it and it is very noticeable if you know where you are looking.

too many questions. O_o

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what a day, woke up early to take the dog out and wait for the cable guy. the internet has been going out and so has the cable box and the appointment was today early in the morning to get it fixed. since the problem could not be fixed we got all boxes switched out. the guy took around an hour and i really had to get to my parents house. after i signed my soul away on the contract and the cable guy left, i got ready and headed to my parents house. we are going to have family over for christmas and i had to remove a few things from the room. i was there mostly all day with out a single bite to eat. i was too concentrated on getting everything fixed up and organized. on the drive home is when it hit me that i hadn’t eaten since the morning, i had a bowl of cereal. finally i had eaten and i woke up from a slight nap a little while ago. i still have more stuff to do tomorrow and i am cutting it really short. time for me to get some real sleep. i hope all had a good day. be safe. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i’m beat, had the craziest day ever; well that’s a little over-exaggerated but it was busy. i woke up and got ready for school, or so i thought. well, i was ready to go but my parents arrived at the house. me and my mom started talking while i was having my breakfast and coffee, my dad had left and it was just me and my mom, we had got to talking and by the time i knew it i was already ten minutes late to class, i decided since it was friday and i have been busting my arse these several days that i would enjoy these two hours talking with my mom. talk we did. i began to change and started getting ready for work. moments later i was off, drove through the final stages of the morning traffic before lunchtime traffic.

after my drive i arrived to work, made it all the way through the hallways and finally entered the office and signed in. i said my hellos to the staff and moments later i was asked if i was busy or was working on anything and repled with letting them know i had no work at that moment. then it hits me, just like i saw on television about someone saying the the place was quiet and then it erupted in people just flooding in. that same thing happened but instead of people flooding my desk, a bunch of files appeared. i got to work and work and work. grabbed a bite and returned. as i worked through the day i was done early and then was given more work to complete. i did finish but i had to stay an extra hour, as i walked outside it was already dark. the drive home wasn’t as bad as it is during rush hour but there were more cars then usual. i finally arrived home and had another bite and strait to work i got. well i am no where near finished but i am already tired and have to work tomorrow too. it should be interesting, a job that never sleeps. it’s time to sleep. good night, be safe, sleep well and sweet dreams.

O_o

i am trying. trying to leave my mark. today has shown me what i need to do in order to achieve even thinking of making a mark in the communities. everyone was asking me if something was wrong because i have never gotten after anyone the way i did today. i did have to get after a few kids. was trying to teach them about respect. in order to be respected you have to give it first. that was one of the biggest morals i was taught while growing up and has stayed with me ever since. a code like the kids like to call it is not learn on the streets but should be learned at home first. in no way am i saying i am perfect human being because many people who really know me know that i am not perfect, i am just watching what i do in life to learn from it and to leave a legacy. i have heard that word everywhere today. in the store, work, books, thoughts, television, etc. if that isn’t a sign i don’t know what is. so far the day has gone, i am having this weird feeling that i have never had before; ever.

O_o

today has been a wake up call above all other things. all happened during work. what i did was nothing compared to what i have done before, i was able to sit in with a few families and saw how things could possibly take a turn for the worse. i could relate to some of the things going on but some of the other things i couldn’t relate too. i was sort of shocked of what was told to me by strangers i have never met before. everyone beat around the bush and said i looked liked a trustworthy person and that’s why they were able to talk to someone like me. with the confidentiality agreement i had signed i was to report any harmful actions to one self or others. luckily what i was told wasn’t life threatening, it was mostly just a cry to be heard. some of the stories were a little tough to hear but it got me thinking that if i can possibly fix my problems i would be open to help others who are going through some of the little things i was and have been struggling with. i got to talking and listening to one case, wow did i feel bad for the kid, the parent wasn’t making an attempt but the child wanted to better themselves and the parent was just being ignorant that it made the child feel embarrassed to say the least. i did all in my power that i could today and felt like i made a difference in their lives and possibly the parents. as i got home i just wanted to rest but knew i couldn’t. stuff had to get done. as i ended up being done my parents were over and started cooking. i like having family dinners. i really do enjoy them, we are a lively crowd of crazy people, in my thoughts; well maybe as others see us too. lol. who knows?! i am getting to tired to keep writing. stay safe. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today was a busy day to say the least. i was up in time for school got ready for work at the same time and headed to school. the professor was late. while we waited a classmate who had never acknowledge anyone started talking with me. i was dressed up according to what work wanted me to wear. he wanted to know if i worked for a company because i had my identification card in the shirt pocket and i told him no, i let him know where i work but couldn’t discuss anymore because of the privacy forms i was give to sign about not releasing any information about the clients and also a confidentiality contract. moments later the professor arrived, even after being five minutes late opening the door he takes off to his office and five minutes later he returns. while we; the remaining students, were thinking he would start on the lecture, he went on another ten minute rant about other non-related material. everyone was kind of frustrated or agitated that he took and is taking forever to start on the lecture. after school i had to come home to take out tumbler to do his business, i got my paperwork and other materials i needed for work.

i headed to work. today i was taught how to log into the main system and because the boss was not there; i wasn’t going to get a username and password to the system just yet. i did have many case loads to follow up on and a few files that i had to find and send and refile. as the day was going my coworkers started to open up and i got to know more of how they are. they’re funny at times but when it is time to work they buckle down and get serious about there job. i like that kind of atmosphere. tomorrow is another busy day of files and letters and more papers. i can’t really discuss too much about some of the things i do because of some legal actions that have happend in the past and a confidentiality contract that limits me on what i can say and actually talk about. some people bring their work home with them, i can’t. i am liable and i am watched very closely. i think some of the stories told to me are bizarre but i think they actually happened but are exaggerated a little to seem better for a story teller. like i have heard and read before that “lies are easier to remember then the truth.” i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today was my “half birthday” only a few people know exactly what i am talking about but they’re not here with us to celebrate. i found out that i am eight thousand five hundred and eighty two days old. that is a long time! that is a different story but now onto what got my day going, i got to reading; reading something i probably shouldn’t have. and then it started! it started to make me think, the kind of thinking that you never forget and the thought just keeps swirling in your head and you can’t stop thinking about it. when they say read the fine print, read it! i made a fool of myself at the window the other day, until now it is hitting me that i need to read every document given to me, word for word and not skip over and signing it and just turning it in; like i would normally do. i was told many moons ago that when you sign a document it becomes a legal document and are responsible for it until it is put into a file. with that, it has taken me a day to read and reread this document before i sign and turn it in. i am a couple days away from the biggest day of my life to begin and the more it nears; the more anxious i am getting, whether i get in or not. continue to stay tuned to see what will happen. lol.

anxious O_o

today was just another crazy day in the life i own, it started off by me looking into a dream diary on a dream i had, seemed good. it felt like a good day or so i thought. i was told that a certain document would rise after today and was in a hurry trying to locate an old document, turned my car and house upside-down looking for it. i took several hours and couldn’t find it that i called my mom and asked her, she rummaged through my stuff at her house and nothing. she told me to go get a new one, got ready as fast as possible and bolted out. well i couldn’t locate the place and in the midst of it, made a accidental call. finally got a hold of my mom to see if i could get help locating where i needed to go. eureka i had found it twenty minutes later. (you already know this but had to let you know i was okay, didn’t want you to think something could be wrong and make you worry or wonder why.) while waiting i finally get called up to the front, they just let me know that i couldn’t get what i was looking for and was sent to the main building downtown. i wanted to avoid traffic at all cost to make time because it was already  getting near the deadline. made it downtown and again took a wild guess where this place was since i used a loop hole to avoid paying internet on my phone because i never really used it, but today of all days; i needed it! parked. ran up inside and there was a two hour wait, you think a fuck my life moment right, wrong it got worse. got my document and rushed home to get the paperwork, etc. and headed to a place to get my documents. it turns out where we were going was through the other door where i had just gotten done getting my old-new-document, again another fuck my life moment, but even then it gets worse. made it there and almost did a tuck and roll, ran up to the back of the line and asked if this was the line to get it, was told yeah! then a lady came out and asked if i was signed in, told her no and she decides to drop the *BOMB* on me and said five o’clock was the cut-off point and i was four minutes late! that was more embarrassing then anything, mind you there were about a fifty people listening. walked away as fast i could and drove home. was having some mixed feelings about it all. then when we got home my aunt and mom and uncle start talking and everything they were saying was making me wonder if it was even worth buying anymore, if he isn’t going to listen then what’s the point! i’m going to try again tomorrow and see how it goes from there. after all that turmoil we get a call by our cousins who we rarely talk too needing my dads help, we go and visit them and after some later inspection and being on the roof, it looks like i will be headed back to work earlier then expected with my dad and we start tomorrow. in conclusion that was my crazy adventure for the day. how was your adventure? or your day go?

to rethinking O_o