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this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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today was another busy sunday. it all started this morning when i was dreaming, the dream was of my recent visit to the zoo, it was a view from the past, what was crazy was the i was looking for a document in one of my folders and the picture i took was there. i looked at the date and it was the same, it was a year ago today. after that the whole day consisted of reminders of everything. when i was woken up by tumbler to go out for his business i bundled up, it was a bit chilly, came back in and since it was early i decided to make a tea, after the tea i was going to watch television when all of a sudden i had passed out and fell asleep again. during this sleep the dreams got sweeter, they were great, all three of them you were incorporated with some how. in a way it was great because since i haven’t seen you and i miss you, every know and then i remember the good time we had, even just the little random spur of the moments. but i think what hurt most was losing you as a friend. as the dreams came to an end i was woken up by tumbler snoring, yeah dogs snore. lol. i got up and made me some tacos and got to writing my report papers for work. started on some notes for class and got through the first chapter, i hope what i thought would be on the next test is relevant to what i wrote down. after a while before i knew my parents wanted to have dinner, me and my aunt ran to the store and got some things for the week. while in the store we passed by the coffee isle and i was struck with the sudden urge to get coffee; another thing you brought to my attention that i never thought of doing myself, as i passed by i could smell all of the coffee but could smell one more then all the others, it had vanilla smell to it and i was in search for it, it had taken me a while but it was behind another pack. it smelt really good and am excited to be trying it. after getting home and sorting everything my parents arrived shortly after and i got ready in a flash and headed out to dinner. i normally used to over indulge but after getting in the habit of eating normal portions i got full faster. it was as if my stomach muscles shrunk. lately i get full faster. i just hope i can continue and keep dieting to see what is next for me. after getting home a little while ago i had to start getting ready for bed, i feel so old going to sleep really early but i guess that is what happens as you get older. i hope all had a good day. hope you are well. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

i had gone out the night before. nothing big but just met up with a few friends. spent the night and woke up this morning laughing at what mess they had made. there were costume pieces everywhere. paint, makeup, fangs, jackets, boots, accessories, etc just scattered all over the place. after that went to grab brunch and met up with eight others. but i am thinking this will never be the same again. i feel like i am growing too old and that it has already passed me by of the festives and joyfulness of it. everyone be safe out there tonight. exam in the morning and out of nowhere i get this throbbing headache, i wish i had some tylenol pm to knock me out and heal my semi-cramped calf. tomorrow will be interesting. my day is filled with long tasks, i was called back in to help out and would need me for another twenty hours, i will have to try and work something out. to late to be thinking. again stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.

bwahahaha O_o

had an amazing dream but was rudely woken up by a cramp in my leg. I woke up in a scream. it lasted for a good five minutes. I went straight back to sleep after it had gone away, it was very strange, it felt like a bad dream but when i got out of bed i couldn’t walk. that has only happened one time before and it is a painful feeling. i got up and after limping around for a while i had to take some medicine to try to loosen up the muscles around my calf. it went away for a bit but knew i would have to keep popping pills all day and didn’t want too so i just walked out the pain, it didn’t work as i thought it would in my head. joined some old school friends from way back in my private school days, we got to talking and even back then it is like it is now. someday i wonder who my friends really are. i am beginning to realize to open my eyes and see what is real. i never had seen it before; i guess because i was naive but wow i am glad i was told. hope all have a good day. good night and dream happy dreams.

thinking O_o

woah, had a super busy day. first i was woken up at three in the morning because it was really cold, grabbed the bigger blanket and went straight to sleep before i knew it i was dreaming. it was pretty amazing, it is the nearly the second time i have had it, from what i have been told the more it repeats it is likely to happen. if it happens i won’t let the moment pass me by. after that i woke up expecting an easy day. it is friday and almost a candy holiday. i was really cold that for the first time in a while i pulled out carol; my favorite fur hoodie, i went to school and finally my professor decides to give us some news; he said it would be good news and then dropped the test bomb on us today, it is on monday, so much for me trying to have a relaxing weekend. he went through the last chapter very quickly and by the time i began to realize i was missing some notes my arm started to cramp up. i think it the cold and when i got hit in my forearm a long time ago but luckily what ever i missed was recorded on my phone. i hope i can hear it. after that i headed into work, i was also expecting something off since it already happened before. sure enough, i was handed about fifty letters or more to write and make a envelope for and mail out. they said what ever i didn’t finish i could come in on saturday and finish or save until monday. i decided to get through them all. i even skipped lunch to try and get as much done as possible. finally brought a grilled chicken sandwich and scarfed it down for a quarter lunch and went back to work. i had to stay after hours with another coworker who was finishing up some other work. finally finished about an hour later then usual. turned in all the letters to the mail room and filled a a small basket. headed home and traffic was still heavy and made my way home. i wanted so bad to sleep but with the little energy i had stayed awake. i changed into something more comfortable and just laid on the couch. went to the store and got me a grilled turkey sub, i jammed it up with all the vegetables and more with some mustard and a jug of water. i was so full, the water did most of the trick. i think i need a break from everything. i am going to take that camping trip next week. jut for a day or two. going to see if i can retrieve my tent back and off i go. it is settled. i am already for bed and it is early, i am feeling like an old timer. stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today was just another day just like any other, except for the part where our professor dropped the research bomb on us and it is due in twenty days. i have to write a five page paper on my topic on a canyon. in the americas dated way back in time. on top of that i need a cover, map, five pictures and a works cited page. she is expecting us to turn in a book. lol. went to work after class. i was surprised because i woke up really early and got everything i needed without being in a slight rush. i also had a few minutes that i added some quotes i stumbled upon from checking out some books the other day. i have three that i need to get started on but might have to wait since i will have to write my own book. while at work everyone is starting to getting to know me better, they more people are asking me; since i am young, if there are tips to get things done faster on the computer, it is fun talking but it is strange that they don’t know when i try to explain. looks like not just when your young you need help, it apparently ranges from all ages. after work i took a power nap, was rejuvenated enough to begin searching on some of the research. it is a lot of information for on just one topic. i sort of am already trying to figure out what i will say when i present. that part will be fun. i will have a slideshow and other stuff that will blow everyone out the water, i hope. i think i have handled just about enough of my research for one day. got some good information and some not so good. sorting begins soon. i hope all had a better day. good night and sweet dreams.

sueno O_o

what a day today has been; it was a productive day with so many things to do. woke up, met with some friends, was fed so much food for a morning brunch and then came back home. met a few more friends to watch the longhorn game, we left at half time because they were losing and decided to catch it at home. began doing work. had to figure out way to manage my time since everything is going to be crucial in these next few weeks. i am excited but i do not want to go through some things. i answered a life questionnaire that i was asked to for the position and it was about thirty pages long. it went deeply into my life, wanted to know just about everything. well by the end of filling out all the paperwork i had about fifty pages; talk about saving a tree. it is early and already falling asleep. you know you are getting old when you do homework and start falling asleep early on a saturday night. well hope all had a good day. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

i think i have a slight guess of what you may be saying. you did what you did because you had too. maybe you should forgive yourself but that is just me thinking out load. i don’t want what happened to make you want to crumble because of me. i know you well enough to know you are strong and you have proven to me that you are capable of doing extraordinary things, with help or without. i did all i could to make you see that and it showed. maybe i was just a stepping stone for you to see the full potential that you have in you. i do wish the best for you. i can’t dictate what my heart wants but can only decide to do this out of the kindness of my heart. good luck with everything.

in other related news, i received a phone call after work with a few questions that followed. it was one of the applications i put in along with my resume and was asked if it was current, i didn’t realize it was over a year an a half old that i hadn’t updated the thing. maybe now with an updated form of my last year, i can show what i have come to accomplish. i have been exhausted these past two days from only getting several hours of sleep, not the full requirement. i feel so old that instead of me taking a nap today, i actually fell asleep for about four hours. the crazy thing is i am still very tired and i am already ready for bed. it is very early and i do wish all a good night and happy dreams.

really tired O_o

took some initiative today no matter the circumstance with my foot, it needed to be done. just got back with my mom from austin. we went to take care of a few things while we were there, took a few hours but we got it done. i got to drive the big truck today. had my son (aka my dog, tumbler lol) in the back seat, he was crashed out the whole trip there and back. before we left i had to throw on my music, made me feel country. driving a big diesel truck feels great and heavy. we were lugging a tractor, i felt safer for me driving rather then my mom because i could maneuver the truck in ways that my mom doesn’t really know how. just about every song came on that i used to sing…, it feels good to release my voice in the vehicle again. with driving the truck it got me thinking, i still need to fix up my truck, a few things are missing in the engine before it can fully run. i love my shelby (my car) but i just don’t feel as safe as i should be. the truck is a rare classic truck and once she is done she will be branded with the name tiffany, she is a sea foam green color with black and silver accents; just seemed suitable. it is so old school that it has no power anything but a radio and if i am correct an a/c, which texas heat days should come in handy. all the work that we did today plus the heat took a toll on me. my back is sore, and my foot is getting slightly better too. i am just taking a wild guess and believe that yesterday was my off day. we all have them. still hope for the best. have a great night and great day tomorrow.

gone country O_o

today was just another crazy day in the life i own, it started off by me looking into a dream diary on a dream i had, seemed good. it felt like a good day or so i thought. i was told that a certain document would rise after today and was in a hurry trying to locate an old document, turned my car and house upside-down looking for it. i took several hours and couldn’t find it that i called my mom and asked her, she rummaged through my stuff at her house and nothing. she told me to go get a new one, got ready as fast as possible and bolted out. well i couldn’t locate the place and in the midst of it, made a accidental call. finally got a hold of my mom to see if i could get help locating where i needed to go. eureka i had found it twenty minutes later. (you already know this but had to let you know i was okay, didn’t want you to think something could be wrong and make you worry or wonder why.) while waiting i finally get called up to the front, they just let me know that i couldn’t get what i was looking for and was sent to the main building downtown. i wanted to avoid traffic at all cost to make time because it was already  getting near the deadline. made it downtown and again took a wild guess where this place was since i used a loop hole to avoid paying internet on my phone because i never really used it, but today of all days; i needed it! parked. ran up inside and there was a two hour wait, you think a fuck my life moment right, wrong it got worse. got my document and rushed home to get the paperwork, etc. and headed to a place to get my documents. it turns out where we were going was through the other door where i had just gotten done getting my old-new-document, again another fuck my life moment, but even then it gets worse. made it there and almost did a tuck and roll, ran up to the back of the line and asked if this was the line to get it, was told yeah! then a lady came out and asked if i was signed in, told her no and she decides to drop the *BOMB* on me and said five o’clock was the cut-off point and i was four minutes late! that was more embarrassing then anything, mind you there were about a fifty people listening. walked away as fast i could and drove home. was having some mixed feelings about it all. then when we got home my aunt and mom and uncle start talking and everything they were saying was making me wonder if it was even worth buying anymore, if he isn’t going to listen then what’s the point! i’m going to try again tomorrow and see how it goes from there. after all that turmoil we get a call by our cousins who we rarely talk too needing my dads help, we go and visit them and after some later inspection and being on the roof, it looks like i will be headed back to work earlier then expected with my dad and we start tomorrow. in conclusion that was my crazy adventure for the day. how was your adventure? or your day go?

to rethinking O_o

being in the middle is kind of getting old, i am always in the middle of EVERYTHING!!! i am the one everyone calls or text to get something done, kind of like the middle-man, i do not have the answer to everything, the best advice i can give is talk to the source, instead of trying to go through me to get an answer try to get it yourself. i have left myself fall in this helpful mood, but i need some time to myself too, i haven’t done anything exciting for myself in a while, almost a month in a half, not because i can’t but because i am trying to focus on my studies and am getting it done, little by little, but i am trying, i got 100% on one of my quizes today and was very excited i had to go public with it, i am not dumb and stupid like some people choose to believe i am, if i apply myself and break my head to do so, i am positive i can succeed, not to many people can say that in all of my family. i have to do what i must to get this, i want this, well, i need this really. i have come to a point where it is “ME” time! i am not saying go out and let loose but just be in a bubble for a little bit until i complete these studies. i love learning, but i need to do this the right way. the only way to be exact. i am sorry. very deeply sorry, but i can not do this for to much longer. my out is when i am done! in conclusion i am only one person, i have one brain, two hands, two feet, two legs, etc. i too need some help with things sometimes but i am too caught up in others that i hope if i ever need help, anyone can do the same as i do for y’all. but for now just need a little time to get things right. to correct way!

sorrylove you O_o

my times have changed, was talking with my little cousin and she began spilling everything about the family but that is a whole different story, asked her about school, mind you she is only 10 years old and knows quite a bit, she said she had just graduated from the the 5th grade; I never got that luxury; asked her about trends, people, etc. and what she told me was a whole new different version of what I used to wear in the fifth grade, now it is all about trends and fads. I told her instead of following the trend, be the trend setter, let everyone copy your style. told her what kind of clothes to wear, nothing drastic, just hipster-trendy. she now got it in her head that she wants to set a hipster trend, it is kind of crazy how society tells us how we should look. I personally have completely changed my wardrobes many of times but like the style I have been wearing for a while now. plain and simple. in conclusion, we need to remain to be true to ourselves as one.

to seeing change in the new O_o