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Tag Archives: i miss you

this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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i woke up this morning with tumbler crying because he needed to go do his business, normally i am up way earlier but today i stayed sleeping. i also woke up with a sinus pressure and it was causing me to get a slight headache and has been going on and off all day. i just popped in two pills and i hope they help.

also for the past three weeks my right ankle has been burning up. like all of a sudden it feels like it radiates heat. i don’t know what it is and is happening right now.

did what i had to and couldn’t applications to work. i was picked up by my parents and went to my little cousins first birthday party. i wanted cake so bad, it was my favorite, strawberry with vanilla creme frosting so i snuck off with kids and ate a piece. it was good but not as good as the one you made for me. =) we headed home because my headache came back stronger and was putting me to sleep. i am already going to sleep early because of the pills. everyone have a safe night and be safe. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i can’t get this application to work, i thought you would make this easy for me microsoft word. but it looks like you chose the hard way, i have looked online and just about anywhere and everywhere for a product key. i will have to try again tomorrow or i will have to go to the library to see if i can borrow a computer from them to type and send my work. today was my last day of school. i wont get my results until tuesday since the professor gave a few people an extra day to take the final who skipped.

i just read your blog, yeah that is what time my alarm usually goes off but i don’t get out of bed right away. yeah i do remember that mental or body-connection we had. lol. i remember it just about everyday and wonder if it still existed and apparently it does and that is some freakyness. lol.

i hope all had a good day. time to get some rest, not really sure what i m going to tomorrow but maybe something productive and maybe i can crack this key code and get some free applications. have a good night and sweet dreams. & to you especially. =)

O_o

 

got a little bit of free time today to meet up with my friend and free up some overloaded brain cells. i still have a long way to go before i can officially rest. i am borderline about to have an anxiety break down. i skipped my running to try to get my work done. it helped a bit. but what isn’t helping are my wisdom teeth coming in and me having a headache because of it. it almost to the point where i would take some pliers and rip them out myself but the dentist already told me that if i mess with them and pull the main nerve, that it would hurt really bad. i am taking some pills to get rid of the pain for now and heading to bed, i have got my first final in the morning. i miss you folks. hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

time to wrap it up now, i cut myself off cold turkey from the social world to get things done, it did help, today everything is riding on getting my project turned in tomorrow. i am just hoping for a good grade, above all i have never withdrawn from a class and i wonder if staying was a good thing, the only thing that worries me is getting everything turned in. had way better days then today, something was off today, not sure what it was but i am certain something was off. time to sleep. i will get back to the social world tomorrow. i do miss it but i had to get things done and needed to take drastic measures if not i would have not been able to stay focused. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

only have a few moment to write this but it has been a very busy day. lot of work. have stayed clear of the internet, had to turn off the wifi to work, i kept wanting to get distracted but by all means i prevailed. i was hit with epiphanies in the face today, literally. stuff is getting really heavy really fast. as if my mountains just blew up and are headed down the hill with an earth slide. you be safe out there, haven’t seen or talk to a few people that i would usually talk too. looks like every one is growing up and getting stuff done. miss you and love you(s). try to stay sane. school and work tomorrow. this is good night, sleep well and sweet dreams.

O_o

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

today was another busy sunday. it all started this morning when i was dreaming, the dream was of my recent visit to the zoo, it was a view from the past, what was crazy was the i was looking for a document in one of my folders and the picture i took was there. i looked at the date and it was the same, it was a year ago today. after that the whole day consisted of reminders of everything. when i was woken up by tumbler to go out for his business i bundled up, it was a bit chilly, came back in and since it was early i decided to make a tea, after the tea i was going to watch television when all of a sudden i had passed out and fell asleep again. during this sleep the dreams got sweeter, they were great, all three of them you were incorporated with some how. in a way it was great because since i haven’t seen you and i miss you, every know and then i remember the good time we had, even just the little random spur of the moments. but i think what hurt most was losing you as a friend. as the dreams came to an end i was woken up by tumbler snoring, yeah dogs snore. lol. i got up and made me some tacos and got to writing my report papers for work. started on some notes for class and got through the first chapter, i hope what i thought would be on the next test is relevant to what i wrote down. after a while before i knew my parents wanted to have dinner, me and my aunt ran to the store and got some things for the week. while in the store we passed by the coffee isle and i was struck with the sudden urge to get coffee; another thing you brought to my attention that i never thought of doing myself, as i passed by i could smell all of the coffee but could smell one more then all the others, it had vanilla smell to it and i was in search for it, it had taken me a while but it was behind another pack. it smelt really good and am excited to be trying it. after getting home and sorting everything my parents arrived shortly after and i got ready in a flash and headed out to dinner. i normally used to over indulge but after getting in the habit of eating normal portions i got full faster. it was as if my stomach muscles shrunk. lately i get full faster. i just hope i can continue and keep dieting to see what is next for me. after getting home a little while ago i had to start getting ready for bed, i feel so old going to sleep really early but i guess that is what happens as you get older. i hope all had a good day. hope you are well. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o