Skip navigation

Tag Archives: up

today has been mostly about dealing with the news of yesterday, i will not be at ease until my parents return, they have already been through one scare on their last trip out of the state, i would be there with them, i just don’t have a passport, i know i should have gotten it but i have held it off for too long. since today was not as cheerful i decided to listen to music all day, i still had my new years project to work on. i found several undiscovered songs and wish to use them. i fell asleep listen to music and woke up to take off my headphones and here the thunder outside, tumbler was scared and kept getting up because the floor would shake. time to get some more sleep, good night and dream freely.

O_o

Advertisements

what a day. woke up to the alarm blowing up in my ear. i would have said good morning but the cable lines were frozen and my internet was down because of it. took my final and went home, started on my reports and felt like some coffee, i was already out of it. i had one scoop which couldn’t make me two cups. rushed to the store and it had failed me, the coffee i wanted was out. i know it is now illegal to text while driving but had to respond back, didn’t want you to think something happened to me. i was okay just driving. i went to my next favorite place to shop. found what i wanted and by the time i knew it i was home faster then anything to try to get home before traffic started up. had my coffee and continued on my report. tumbler was crying and since it was early and i was home i decided to go running early. i pushed my limit. i was going to hurt but need to keep my cardiovascular up to keep my heart healthy. i had a scare the other day, nothing serious but scary. while i was typing away i lost track of my battery life and drained my battery twice today. i am finished with five report out of seven total. two more to go and due friday and i also have one more final to go. i hope all had a good day. i am okay. time for me to sleep. have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i just realized today that there is one month left in the year. there is a lot i have to catch up on. it is not a lot but what i am doing is bold. enough to be crazy. but here goes nothing. if it can be done it will come alive. i am anxious to see what is. i will be waiting too on my library certificate when i finish being the intern. today went well, better then other days. had to learn and broaden my horizon for the new things i was taught today. it was fairly easy but tried it three times to get it perfect. i am tired from almost knocking out my heart out of my chest when i went running earlier, it felt good to get out, feel the cold while running with tumbler. it had been a while. going to sleep already. got to see a professor about some paperwork for this semester and the next. i hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i don’t want to be mean but some people need to know what to say before they speak. i know you folks are misinformed but look it up. what i study shall not be brought up during work, especially when the boss is around. that is termination talk. i know you probably got mad when i wouldn’t explain myself, but what i do is my business. my religion has nothing to do with it, i told you as much as i wanted to so you could think about it and if you are interested you will look it up online.

on another not the semester is coming near a halt. i don’t know what i should do but i do know how to get there. as crazy as that sounds. i feel like just curling up in a dark room to see what happens. i have worked hard but what i really want is to work full time with what i have learned. i like working, i do not slack, i press on even though i am there fo a short period of time. i know what i was put on this earth to do. yes i figured it out mom and dad all by myself. there is one thing i am waiting for and i wish you would say it.

i have had to many things blow through my brain today. i wanted to relax and after work my parents wanted me to get them the third toy story, it was sad but really good. made me think a lot more after the movie. started looking for my journal and i found something, i had forgotten about it but not sure how to go at it. i wrote the few ideas down, if they work, they work! if they don’t then i will modify them until they do work. it is time to sleep, hope all had a good day. may you have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today has been a wake up call above all other things. all happened during work. what i did was nothing compared to what i have done before, i was able to sit in with a few families and saw how things could possibly take a turn for the worse. i could relate to some of the things going on but some of the other things i couldn’t relate too. i was sort of shocked of what was told to me by strangers i have never met before. everyone beat around the bush and said i looked liked a trustworthy person and that’s why they were able to talk to someone like me. with the confidentiality agreement i had signed i was to report any harmful actions to one self or others. luckily what i was told wasn’t life threatening, it was mostly just a cry to be heard. some of the stories were a little tough to hear but it got me thinking that if i can possibly fix my problems i would be open to help others who are going through some of the little things i was and have been struggling with. i got to talking and listening to one case, wow did i feel bad for the kid, the parent wasn’t making an attempt but the child wanted to better themselves and the parent was just being ignorant that it made the child feel embarrassed to say the least. i did all in my power that i could today and felt like i made a difference in their lives and possibly the parents. as i got home i just wanted to rest but knew i couldn’t. stuff had to get done. as i ended up being done my parents were over and started cooking. i like having family dinners. i really do enjoy them, we are a lively crowd of crazy people, in my thoughts; well maybe as others see us too. lol. who knows?! i am getting to tired to keep writing. stay safe. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

what a spiraling day, it all started last night while dreaming; i was able to some how control the dream and what i did. it was as if my thought had a thought, i know it is hard to explain but it kind of reminded me of inception the movie, where they went into a dream state and in that dream state they had gone into another. i was thinking of what to do and my body would do just as i thought it. it was as if i could control my world. before i could get to controlling my dream i was woken up by my alarm. it was time for me to get up and get ready for school. after getting ready had some time and tried out the new coffee i had bought yesterday. it was really good. took off for school and learned a little bit more on the what was going on before the depression. i was awake, alert, excited to learn and what felt like a good mood. after leaving school to work i was early and decided to take some time and drive. made it to work and after heading inside is when the spiral of events began. everything went from good to bad to good to bad to good. by the time i knew it it was already time to go home. even though everything was spiraling out of control i remembered my dream and how i was controlling the dream, i did just that, i took the time to enjoy the slow traffic, in a sense that i was able to think in peace, without being distracted like usual when i get home. i had a lot to catch up on from school and work. i am taking time to get a really good grade, i am tired of failing. i don’t want to be a failure anymore. even though writing in my strong suit; i have too. i think i will be asking for help because i don’t know how to go about my research paper. i got the information but where do i sart; sort of thing. it is getting hard for me to think even though it is early. i just want to sleep. already ready for bed and going to sleep early. i hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

today i was consumed; consumed and piled with work to do. i am exhausted, i had a good rest but i feel like i got slammed by a train. i know can fully understand people who work two jobs. it is a killer on your feet and a rush trying to get to one place to the next and not to mention trying to go to school at the same time, i can see how people also get burned out. i was labeled worthless today by an assistant at work, she claims she was just playing around because i am getting to know a few of the other workers and that is what she has labeled them. the cool thing is is that i decide to move up from a part time worker i have eleven of twelve recommendation letters, workers told me as long as i keep up the good work they would let me know when a full time position opens up because i would be a great addition to the team. it is very reassuring to hear. put a smile on my face. they see me as a way too serious person but i am breaking that habit of mine. i got another long day tomorrow. will have to take it as it is thrown at me. hope all had a better day : ) but for me it is time to sleep. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

I just want to start off with that’s fucked up!!! everyone has always side swiped me with a weightful remark. I am pretty sure every bad thing that has happened to me is because of my size. yes I know I am fat! no need to keep rubbing it in my face. I have always struggled every since I was young, yes I was that husky kid who sometimes was out of breathe because of my asthma. as I look back growing up people used me as a safety net. you know who you are! but it has got to the point where my family and closest friend(s) keep trying to make a joke of it and laugh it off. yeah I laugh but what you are really doing is killing a little part of myself. everyone always goes to the big guy because he can’t hurt you or so you think. I have wrestled and won many of times with people twice my size, I will never forget the time when I didn’t know my own strength and nearly did something that could have hurt my cousin really bad and I broke a tall closet dresser from the force. I have also been used as a body guard, you know who you are, it was fun for a little bit but when you wanted me to get you from one place to another that was just too much, but me thinking you were a friend you got mad when I didn’t want too. how could I have been so naive?! I think today is the last straw. I have been put down one to many times lately. it ends now. everyone has been two-faced to me lately! and i mean almost everyone! how fucked up is it that the people closest to me have been so far away or have pushed themselves farther away. what have i ever done to you?!

a ver que pasa O_o

what a day. i first had to get up and get ready for work. all that was completed really fast and made a quick bite to eat. on my way into work I was thinking of what it was going to be like, I have helped out as much as possible to get a good recommendation letter by the end of it. by the looks of it I am doing a good job. have been told to keep up the good work. I helped out again even though I wasn’t suppose too. I put in some good hours, seven to be exact. things at work are good for now but come Monday I will be swamped with work. after that I headed home. my little brother and older brother were home. I was slightly tired and took a quick power nap. spent time with my family and am still very tired. I have tons to do tomorrow. hope all are well. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today was crazy. was a busy day to say the least. i woke up late for the first time ever and slept through class, i think because i was cold last night and my hibernation mode kicked in. I was almost late to work but arrived and was put straight to work. even though I was almost late I had explained what happened. they understood and got to work. i was very easily distracted, everything just caught my attention, it was as if my attention span was shortened down to about thirty seconds. it was quite hilarious. a coworker saw me and said I looked so lost, we joked about it and finally got to focusing. arrived home and was exhausted, I wanted to nap but stayed watching television. turned it off and hit the books. a while later my friend called to pick up a movie i had and one i borrowed from him and we just got to talking about work, school and life. it was a very inspiring conversation and then he took off. it is now time for me to sleep, it is way early and very tired. have a good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: