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Tag Archives: blurb

continuing from my other post. the more my parents talk about what happened the more angrier i got with my family. well actually i am more disgusted with them. i can’t stand when people segregate or discriminate for what ever reason. i know i have said it when i was younger and never knew the connotation behind it until one day i was threatened with my life and it is when i asked the principal what it meant. she explained to me what it was and ever since then had learned my lesson.

on a side note i am just glad that my parents and rest of the family is home safely. i had completed everything i needed to do while my parents were away and what they asked me to do too. i was a little inspired and started on a new project that will debut soon. i hope all had a good day, it is late and going to fall asleep soon. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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dear whomever it may concern,

my christmas wasn’t so great. but i am not going to complain, even though i received nothing i am still slightly grateful i was able to spend it with my family. my little brother wasn’t able to come home, now i know what he felt like when i or my older brother was not able to visit. i do understand times are tough, people got to work and stuff has to get done. i know i shouldn’t brag about how great this day is and i won’t because what would have made it complete would be my little brother show up. i was able to spend time with tumbler too, this has been one of the greatest day for tumbler though, he was spoiled with care, food, shelter and playtime. we are now getting ready to go to sleep and he is laying down at feet keeping them warm. i hope all go what they asked santa for. i know i did because i asked for nothing but to spend time with my family and dog. i hope friends received what i sent out to them in time. it is time to say my goodbyes and wake up fo another day closer to a new year. if you didn’t know i love you. i don’t know how to say it any better. i hope all had a great christmas and to all good night and sweet dreams.

thank you,

orlandot

O_o

i do want to first start off by thanking EVERYONE. you guys made my day better and better with that kind of feedback. i was even posted on a site! that is some exciting news. my music career is going no where fast but have been greatly inspired by the emails that my next one will be worked on a bit more delicately. before i release it to the world i will have a few commentators to see what they like or dislike about my set presented. that was that. as  far as today went, it went and went, was in class and i had my undivided attention all up on the lecture. what was even better was when the professor looked at me and threw a quick question at me, slightly caught me off guard but was dumbfounded when i replied the answer and question that made her head spin. it was like i was king of the mountain; a small ego boost if you will. and of course went back to taking my detailed notes and even on top of that, the stuff i printed out was over done the other day but it had all the notes i needed for todays class and i knew exactly what she was talking about when she would point and ask a random person to answer. day went on, had my snack, lunch, homework and also got to my workout, tanning in the sun and laundry for the day. got to be at class early and have everything ready for a busy day tomorrow; possibly going under the knife; but i have to see what the doctor orders. i want these snitches out, they are bugging me and giving me headaches. they may be just for a minute or two but they’re there and slowly making there way in an i want them out now. dont care if they put me under or local anesthesia but i want them out. hope all had a great day and or birthday and may all be safe and have a wonderful night. i am out!

O_o

today was suppose to be a day of working, what it turned out to be was a downer or bummer. my morning wasn’t so great, woke up at six thirty because of the pain killers wearing off; my foot was in a slight bit more of pain. my mom couldn’t see me suffer anymore and she decided we would head down to see the chiropractor but he wasn’t available due to family issues. then we went to see if my cousin knew anybody and had no luck there. as the day went on i rested on the couch, i knew what would be coming tomorrow and needed all the rest i could take. the pain i am in i can control, one wrong move and i pull the muscle and hurt myself, my parents are afraid if i don’t get this fixed now that it could come back later when i am older and haunt me and might possibly be worse. as if that wasn’t enough; i got an email reminder to pay my classes. if i didn’t i would lose them. well because i got a non passing grade during summer the school decided to deny my chance at getting aid. my tuition jumped to a whopping eight hundred dollars minus books. i had to drop out of a class in order to make a slight payment to even keep my classes. i am very bummed about that, but this isn’t getting me down that easily. i am a fighter and have always been. i want to rant out but what would be the point, it is my fault i could have gotten a better grade, formulas and steps are more difficult to follow sometimes for me. if i made this mistake it is time for me to take responsibility for my actions and put blame on me instead of the world. i do put myself down sometimes but i have to in order for me to learn not to do it again. i believe in myself as well as other see expectations in me too. i glad some people do believe. now it is my turn to appreciate everybody for that and show them there encouragement meant the world to me. i am very sorry if i have let anyone down, my time is now! i am seeing to much i don’t want to see. that is enough of my day, how was yours?

being responsible O_o

taking a quick water break and blurb break to let you know that I have been super productive, and have completed a lot within these past couple of hours, it feels really good, well to be honest it is a feeling I have never felt before and do not really know how to explain it. but I will take a guess and say it feels like sweet sweet victory of the mini battles, the war has yet to be won. I am fighting everyday with my all. hope everything is okay with you, haven’t heard from you. have a good one.

to achieving new limits O_o

today like many other past days I read my horoscope, it said “you need to do whatever it takes to avoid arguments with the family or in the home.” which i so tried to, people just do not listen, one in particular. I came home from school to emptiness besides my best friend, T. he knows what is up. he listens. he is my protector. he never talks back and we kick it and play when we feel like it. I had to go back to school to pick up some valuable information for later classes, I was hoping that at least one of two of my books had arrived when I would return but I returned to a nat. the kind of nat that buzzes around your ear and keps going and going and going, etc. it wasn’t that I wanted to be lazy but I kind of did, I just wanted some piece and quiet for as much as I could get. but NO!!! the nat came along, I was not interested in running errands that are right up the road, when the nat could take care of their own stuff. i am tired of being a messenger and errand boy that I will now refuse to do things that will take me away from my studies. I am TRYING to bust my tail to get ahead. I’m TRYING!!!!! i’m not the fu*king genie where it’s like *POOF* what do you need? *POOF* what do you need?*POOF* what do you need? we all need our space, I am not cranky, I slept well; early too. but this stops NOW!!!! you want something you go get it. for one; your taking me away from studying so you can kick back and relax, second you have money, a truck and a foot, mouth and hands to get what you want. no more favors for now. I have stuff I need to take care of as first priority. I wont go get it now, later, tonight, tomorrow, day after…

to maybe having an off day O_o

is falling back to sleep twice after waking up considered sleep deprivation? I recently wasn’t able to sleep because was scared to dream. I was lost for a bit and at the botom of a mountain but am now finding a path up the mountain. thinkers say “everything happens for a reason” as true as it may be, every song playing on shuffle right now keeps talking about the same thing, Why? & When?& Change? and other things that irrelevant to this, but the two times today and yesterday I had two instances; 4 in total, where I awoke and fell back asleep due to a crazy and unsatisfying portion of my dream that made no sense what so ever. I did some research on a happy portion of the dream but refused to look at the bad side of it, did that mean that my optimistic look of thing weighed in factor, that I only choose to see the good. is this even a healthy way to look at things? I can see the beauty in a lot of things, but not this time so I awake from my slumber and wonder, what does it mean? is it good or bad? in that process fall back asleep and awake with someone or something finally waking me up because it is late in the day. I know physically everything feels okay with me but medically I am not so sure, people say I should get a little help and/or talk to someone, but every time I make the attempt too, I get judged, shot down, ridiculed, laughed at, say I am many things I am not. what is up with that? I have learned that WE ALL need someone in our life to help us grow, learn, live, laugh or love but too what extreme? with ending I know we can not see what is ahead in the future but seems as if “it always rains hardest on those who deserve the most sun.” – Jill Conner

waking up O_o

today begins the hardest road of my life, recently I have been skipping the morning and noon time to indulge myself. I have been finding to smell of all food disgusting and the sight of food gross. also have not been feeling well after eating red meat but other food (poultry or seafood) have no effect on me at all, analyzing it more; me of all people turning down some food, when I would usually say any food i eat “fills the cracks of the heart.” I began thinking while working that all I need to survive is water, but how long can I go on for without food?! everyone keeps asking what is wrong with me, if I knew I would tell them. I think now that I am hard at work and busting my tail and breaking a sweat I am releasing all my bad things in my body and dropping weight, I have already dropped a waist size and 7 pounds in water weight. I am liking the dropping of the weight because it makes me feel better (mentally & physically) but not liking that I can not eat when I should be. it scares me that I could possibly have something wrong (heart, diabetes or stomach problem) with me. I have been in a nutrition class and give others advice on how to eat BUT TODAY MAY 17, 2010 MARKS THE DAY OF CHANGE (also marks 3 months after my birthday; that is irrelevant), it is my turn to have the ridicule STOP dead in its tracks because looking in the mirror everyday is getting to be a spiteful thing. I now want my health to be good, a good health brings good fortune and good waves of energy. I want to live a long, healthy and prosperous life like all the successful beings out there.

here is to CHANGE & LIVING O_o

why must you tend to open up and give family advice when we know better and your mentality is clouded because of how much alcohol is in your system? if you say to do all these things and you try to make your kid look high and mighty, I am glad you think that but we are older and wiser, he still has A LOT to learn, yes life is short but one thing for sure is you can not rush someone into something or to take advantage of something because you used to be that way. I know who is first in my life, there is no reason for you to tell me who I should or shouldn’t put first in my life. you don’t talk to us like you used to because YOU now have a family and see how hard it is. in the other case you said your going to do something about a problem, well “If you’re complaining it means you don’t really want to change, because if you did, you’d shut up & do it already! – TDL” just do it because you want to and show your sons/daughters that there is a better life out there; no matter how you grew up or where you grew up. get off my back and get off your ass and CHANGE if you want what is better for you and your family but do it for YOU and no one else. one thing I was shown was how to BE, that can never be taken away from me, but for sure can be taught by others and there is something out there for each of us. it beautiful and precious, it is not something you can pick up and throw it away and keep picking it up. I have what I have because of ME not because I am told to have something I should not. I hope your kids grow up and realize this, because everything is taught from the home and then to the “roads.” time to grow the _ _ _ _ up, you only have one life, life is to short to try to beat others because you think they are better then you. get where your going but the right way.

to not being that O_o

please tell me what is WRONG, i can HEAR you but your not saying much, i just can FEEL something is wrong. other people have heard YOU too. its not a GOOD thing. tell me something but don’t SHOW me.

O_o

how hard is it to come up with an understanding agreement? why do you choose to “fight” me?! whether you like it or not, I am here now…time to get your facts straight and STOP making things up in your head and poisoning others with your VENOM. let me figure out what to do? if you have yourself figured out; GOOD. good for you & leave us in PEACE.

O_o

just woke up from a nap and I was dreaming, was I really dreaming or was it reallity? can you see in the future or is that just a part of the conscious that is reached that no regular awake human can reach at any given time or is a special power/sense that one possesses?? when Deja Vu occurs is it because we saw in the future?! the future seems to hold lots of truth that many seek or could it just be that heighten 6th sense?!?! a mystery we will never know.

O_o