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I have finally returned from a far away place. I never thought I had it in me too see, but now I see the world a lot more clearer. Though you are six feet under, you will live on in our hearts. You were on of my favorites and I can truly and honestly say you were the top ones. I am glad you did not suffer at the very end, though I asked for peace and sounded bad; I know you are at peace.

We’ll miss you.

O_o

Going to fall off the grid for a few days. May you R.I.P. and will see you soon.

O_o

well its been about a week now, it was time to get stuff done for a change, i am starting off the new year with some not so great news, in these past two months our family has lost three people because of illnesses. i don’t know what else is happening around the world, just in my world. we received a phone call early in the morning about the passing away of a cousins’ child. he passed away of leukemia. a few days ago we had another relative pass away with aids; i did mention it before in my previous blogs. then we received news of my uncle being admitted in the hospital for unrelated occurrences. my parents had to go out of the state and well, country. i did have a great conversation and i am super glad i was able to talk to you today, like i told you there are days i just don’t know what to say. i do miss our long talks we used to have. there are a few things i wish for but i will have to wait and see what will happen. i have to go attend to my family right now. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

continuing from my other post. the more my parents talk about what happened the more angrier i got with my family. well actually i am more disgusted with them. i can’t stand when people segregate or discriminate for what ever reason. i know i have said it when i was younger and never knew the connotation behind it until one day i was threatened with my life and it is when i asked the principal what it meant. she explained to me what it was and ever since then had learned my lesson.

on a side note i am just glad that my parents and rest of the family is home safely. i had completed everything i needed to do while my parents were away and what they asked me to do too. i was a little inspired and started on a new project that will debut soon. i hope all had a good day, it is late and going to fall asleep soon. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

what can i say, today was a wild card. woke up from a dream; the dream happen to be a day i will always remember, it was before i moved while at school. i was always shy but that day something changed. still looking for the possible meaning behind it. while in school the professor let us know that our test would be this friday and our final the next. i will admit i have to do good on both to pass. after class i talked with the chairman and after a few explanations and some gatherings of paperwork, i was given the last and final slot of the internship program for next semester, i was able to beat a few people on the waiting list. i can feel a strange feeling coming over me know, don’t know how to really explain it but we will see what happens. while at work i was put straight to work, somedays it’s slow others not so much, i was here, there, jumping from one place to another, going to different buildings to turn stuff in and get files too. on the return trip home it was getting a bit colder but i knew what i had to do. i arrived home prepped the tumbler and changed clothes and headed to the park. today wasn’t as cold as it was yesterday. it felt good to forget about everything for an hour and concentrate on not getting hit or kidnapped. lol. after arriving back home i started on the things i needed to catch up on. it is a lot of work but it is asking for very little, will continue this the whole weekend and finals week too. that was my adventure for the day. i hope all had a good day and it is time for me to sleep. good night and sweet dreams to you.

O_o

it is 5 am and today is the anniversary of the passing of my moms aunt.

rip O_o

done with dinner, a while ago of course. i remembered after getting from work what today was. it is a mexican family tradition to honor the people who have passed away. i know the people who were closest in my life who i knew or even didn’t know that well are in a better place. i am still reminded everyday when i see a passing about my incident and how i am grateful for surveying. but i see life in a new perspective and i see the beauty in death now. i learned along time ago what not to do, ever since that day the haunting scares me every now and then. it is something i want to forget but at the same time if i do it may be possible it will occur again. i would rather not mess with my life or another, ever! i know what pain and distrust i caused and i am barely trying to gain that trust back. even with a busy day i doze off for a minute or two and had the strangest vertigo feeling after that i was jumped into a dream or quite possibly a hallucination, i don’t know if it was a dream or a view into the future but i can totally write that movie. and i found a mark in a book that pretty much gave me an answer i was looking for. the idea is still fresh and is written down, now just trying to figure out how to make it a hard-copy. got  few thing i will be starting after i finish with all of my school work. going to start on one right after hoping i have enough time. i will be starting a draft this weekend on my first camping trip in two years. sun, rain or even snow can’t stop my ideas but it sure can influence what happens next. i am very excited for this. i have done nothing but go to school and work, i am finally going to take a break from all technology, well almost, the will be a camera for documentation but that is about all the technology that will be with me. i hope all had a good day, it is time to sleep to start tomorrow refreshed and ready to do what needs to get done. good night and sweet dreams.

love O_o

 

i had gone out the night before. nothing big but just met up with a few friends. spent the night and woke up this morning laughing at what mess they had made. there were costume pieces everywhere. paint, makeup, fangs, jackets, boots, accessories, etc just scattered all over the place. after that went to grab brunch and met up with eight others. but i am thinking this will never be the same again. i feel like i am growing too old and that it has already passed me by of the festives and joyfulness of it. everyone be safe out there tonight. exam in the morning and out of nowhere i get this throbbing headache, i wish i had some tylenol pm to knock me out and heal my semi-cramped calf. tomorrow will be interesting. my day is filled with long tasks, i was called back in to help out and would need me for another twenty hours, i will have to try and work something out. to late to be thinking. again stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.

bwahahaha O_o

woah, had a super busy day. first i was woken up at three in the morning because it was really cold, grabbed the bigger blanket and went straight to sleep before i knew it i was dreaming. it was pretty amazing, it is the nearly the second time i have had it, from what i have been told the more it repeats it is likely to happen. if it happens i won’t let the moment pass me by. after that i woke up expecting an easy day. it is friday and almost a candy holiday. i was really cold that for the first time in a while i pulled out carol; my favorite fur hoodie, i went to school and finally my professor decides to give us some news; he said it would be good news and then dropped the test bomb on us today, it is on monday, so much for me trying to have a relaxing weekend. he went through the last chapter very quickly and by the time i began to realize i was missing some notes my arm started to cramp up. i think it the cold and when i got hit in my forearm a long time ago but luckily what ever i missed was recorded on my phone. i hope i can hear it. after that i headed into work, i was also expecting something off since it already happened before. sure enough, i was handed about fifty letters or more to write and make a envelope for and mail out. they said what ever i didn’t finish i could come in on saturday and finish or save until monday. i decided to get through them all. i even skipped lunch to try and get as much done as possible. finally brought a grilled chicken sandwich and scarfed it down for a quarter lunch and went back to work. i had to stay after hours with another coworker who was finishing up some other work. finally finished about an hour later then usual. turned in all the letters to the mail room and filled a a small basket. headed home and traffic was still heavy and made my way home. i wanted so bad to sleep but with the little energy i had stayed awake. i changed into something more comfortable and just laid on the couch. went to the store and got me a grilled turkey sub, i jammed it up with all the vegetables and more with some mustard and a jug of water. i was so full, the water did most of the trick. i think i need a break from everything. i am going to take that camping trip next week. jut for a day or two. going to see if i can retrieve my tent back and off i go. it is settled. i am already for bed and it is early, i am feeling like an old timer. stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

this has got to  have been one of the strangest and weirdest weekends i ever had. it all started friday morning. slept in and other stuff was going on around me at the same time and i didn’t even know about. as the day went on something happened that i am not very proud of and has never ever happen to me; my keys; well i rather not say because it is too embarrassing, to say out loud let alone to write down in text. because of a phone call all of my plans had to be rescheduled or mainly modified. i drove.

drove for a bit. arrived and was able to settle in for a few minutes before going to search for my brother. he was celebrating his return back from visiting asia. how cool is that! pretty rad if you ask me. found him and i had that silent tear; you know the single one that is just released from your eye when you  are extremely happy, yeah that one. we and some other friends conversed. meanwhile below the border my parents went to visit my sick uncle and take him to a specialist farther outside of the city and back here i arrived home and got to thinking if there were new plans in the near future. but there is still so much i need to accomplish before some plans can go into effect.

after waking up i wasn’t feeling so well, mold and ragweed were high, but the crazy thing is i have never been allergic until then, the day went on and we went to have a dinner party for a friend who was born half a century ago. i was continuing to feel bad, i cut the night was short and headed home. i was almost asleep when i got a phone call to be a designated driver. i picked up my brother and friend from the road and returned back home to sleep. meanwhile i had received another call from my parents earlier that day that they were safely on there way back; or so i thought.

i was woken up to tumbler (my dog) getting sick and puking on the carpet. of course i had to get up really fast and remove and clean. i did just that. i had a few things to do. well more then a few. when i got to the dishes my mind stopped running a thousand miles an hour. i think the sound of water calms me down or maybe the feeling of water. i have yet to figure out what it is. by this time my parents were already home. i left this afternoon to go home. i was driven and met halfway through. we stayed for a bit and said our goodbyes after a little quality time that was there. on the way home my parents let me know what had happened. this is where it gets weird and strange.

apparently every time we had visited that part of the city we always end up losing and animal dearest to us. my mom had told me that our old dog had a cold for a few days now. even with all the care and medicine it didn’t help. my dad let her run free and she just walked to the back of the shed. normally she was a strong and brilliant dalmatian. she had a lot of what tumbler has know, i think he picked it up from her and some pointers from me as well. my dad said she was in plain sight and then she disappeared. my dad went looking for her when she wouldn’t answer her name being called out. she had walked farther away from from the house and removed herself from sight when she passed away. she passed away of natural causes, she was quite old. but she like our other dogs and pups will never be forgotten. we will miss you brittany, we love you girl. may you rest in peace and go visit our other canine family in doggy heaven. and if that wasn’t enough to bare, the kept going and told me what happened on the return trip.

while on their way back from the doctor and passing all the check points they were stopped by a federal cop truck and pulled off the side of the road. my dad was wondering what he had done wrong. it was broad daylight and he wasn’t drunk or speeding or being reckless in anyway shape or form. the official asked my dad to step out of the car and pop the trunk and hood of the rental car. he inspected the hood quickly and then returned farther away from the car with the trunk still opened. he asked my dad several questions. my dad answered with no problem. it was until the official assumed my dad had money and was lying. on a side note my dad has never done any of that, he is a well respected contractor in the business. he normally doesn’t carry a high amount of money on his person. as the official he told him that he would be going to jail. he brought out handcuffs and asked him what he wanted to do, at this point my dad was thinking that he was never going to see his wife, kids and family ever again. he was thinking the worst possible. as i am hearing this i am furious and thinking to myself, if anything like that ever were to happen i would pull the sort of stunt that you see in movies. i’ll just leave it at that.

he offered his last one hundred dollar bill to the official, mind you the officer had a loaded machine gun. while all this is going on my mom, aunt and uncle are in the car trying to listen and see what is going on. but they can’t since they were far away from the car. no one around for miles. they told him that he was going to jail and whoever was in the car would go about there business. at the same time there are three other men in the truck and also with loaded weapons. my dad highly believe what was going down was, what has been seen on the news lately over the border. with the offering my dad said that was his last hundred dollar bill and it was for the return trip home. the man was furious and said if he wanted them back that he would be sent to jail. the man refused to take the money where the others would see and the official asked him to make it as if they were shaking hands to make the swap. luckily the man let them go. my dad was saying at that moment in time he felt his life was just worth a hundred dollars and that the other guy could care less what happened next.

as they pressed on to reach the border my dad said he felt dead inside. no feeling what so ever. literally as if his life flashed before his eyes. he said no matter what until this drug war and corruption continues he would not return; until it is fixed. by the looks of things doen’t look like it will be stopping anytime soon. as soon as they hit american soil was when he felt alive again. we were on protected and safe soil. with great appreciation of cops and other s who serve, he know saw why we our such a great country.

my mom was saying what would happen if it did actually happen. but instead i swayed her mind from thinking like that and know there is a higher power that can protect with some faith. i didn’t know whether to me sad or angry at what happened but all i know is that i had the biggest epiphanies this weekend due to everything that happened this weekend. there are other missing parts to this story but i am choosing to leave them out. it makes me angry at what they are doing., hurting innocent people for a few extra bucks in their pocket tax free. there is more i would like to say but can’t.

some things will be looked into because of my epiphanies, let’s just see what happens. i am extremely tired and i wish everyone stays safe. have a good night and dream happy dreams.

O_o

well, what a day! woke up early to find that it was pouring rain outside. epic failure. had so much planned and because of the rain it slimmed down my chances of getting things done, in a sense that me driving was highly doubtful because from what i read it said something like this would happen. class was very cold, even with my jacket and no air conditioner on, my body felt as if i was slammed around in a car after being hit by a truck and not to mention i was soaked from walking in the rain. my quiz i was studying for went well, i think i missed one question, i couldn’t remember a political name that was given during class and on my notes for one of the question. even with all that studying the simplest thing could be forgotten really easily. hope it doesn’t happen on my next quiz coming up in two week and even on my test. spent the day with the radio (npr) on and listening to the storm pass by while studying and reading my book, what a way to relax and let some inner stuff drain away. the only thing i was missing were a few things…were too far to reach for. what can one do?! i can’t seem to  shake off these feelings i have been having, i feel sore and tired. i think the yoga class from yesterday did a toll on me, it had been a while since going to a class or just exercising at home. also have found some new music with the radio. i know few people like my work but some people believe i am just playing around with it to see what fits; in no way do i play around with music, i have made a few samples but that was just testing out my skills. i really listen to everything and place the music at my fingertips and ears because without them; i don’t think i could call myself a dj. some laugh that i am, most ridicule and it doesn’t bother me. laugh it up. we all wan’t our fifteen minutes of fame and most don’t have the same minutes as others. i will continue to “create something out of nothing!” today will be calling it an way early night, got a busy morning and will need the rest. hope all have a safe and good night. sweet dreams.

O_o

while sleeping I had a great dream, a lot of what happened in my dream was great but that is another story I will make at a later time; when and if it actually happens. today began my conquest of trying to get everything ready for school. I went really early to see the director of the program for my degree and was the first one in his office. I told him what I wanted to do and he twenty questioned my points and views and i passed! he approved of my internship slot and he went over the trial and tribulations of what needed to be done during the internship. I have my heart set on one place for the sole reason that NO ONE has ever thought of going that route. I just have to hunt down another chairman and director of this location to get the “green light.” I really want to have this under my belt for future references and have been told by many and several past workers they like my work ethics and when I am determined to get something to not stop until I have it. I have been told if I were to ever need anything to not hesitate to ask because they were put in my path for a reason. the reason may never be know but discovered. i do have back up places but since it is a job, I may consider it in the future, I need everything to check out and be on point. I am very nervous and thrilled that I was one of twenty five to get the internship class through that director. I don’t want to be a disappointment but a great candidate for a future consideration of any opportunity that may possibly come my way one day. with everything I do there are a few things that need to be done before the end. I am only on day one! I know this is just the beginning but I have to get this done now. I never thought I would ever say this but it feels like a “now or never” kind of moment. and need all the help I can get.

to [blank] O_o