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i was able to post a few pictures of of the party. what i didn’t want to say yesterday was i thought i would never release emotions like i did on the drive back home. i was super grateful for the opportunity that was presented to me. i was sad that i was leaving it all behind and having to get back to the real world. i took some advice from a friend who recommended some classes online and have started listening to the classes. it was a logic class and everything they were mentioning i had already learned in philosophy class. i am going to get to learning and filling my brain with knowledge because i miss school and am excited to go back. catch you later.

O_o

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this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i am trying. trying to leave my mark. today has shown me what i need to do in order to achieve even thinking of making a mark in the communities. everyone was asking me if something was wrong because i have never gotten after anyone the way i did today. i did have to get after a few kids. was trying to teach them about respect. in order to be respected you have to give it first. that was one of the biggest morals i was taught while growing up and has stayed with me ever since. a code like the kids like to call it is not learn on the streets but should be learned at home first. in no way am i saying i am perfect human being because many people who really know me know that i am not perfect, i am just watching what i do in life to learn from it and to leave a legacy. i have heard that word everywhere today. in the store, work, books, thoughts, television, etc. if that isn’t a sign i don’t know what is. so far the day has gone, i am having this weird feeling that i have never had before; ever.

O_o

what a spiraling day, it all started last night while dreaming; i was able to some how control the dream and what i did. it was as if my thought had a thought, i know it is hard to explain but it kind of reminded me of inception the movie, where they went into a dream state and in that dream state they had gone into another. i was thinking of what to do and my body would do just as i thought it. it was as if i could control my world. before i could get to controlling my dream i was woken up by my alarm. it was time for me to get up and get ready for school. after getting ready had some time and tried out the new coffee i had bought yesterday. it was really good. took off for school and learned a little bit more on the what was going on before the depression. i was awake, alert, excited to learn and what felt like a good mood. after leaving school to work i was early and decided to take some time and drive. made it to work and after heading inside is when the spiral of events began. everything went from good to bad to good to bad to good. by the time i knew it it was already time to go home. even though everything was spiraling out of control i remembered my dream and how i was controlling the dream, i did just that, i took the time to enjoy the slow traffic, in a sense that i was able to think in peace, without being distracted like usual when i get home. i had a lot to catch up on from school and work. i am taking time to get a really good grade, i am tired of failing. i don’t want to be a failure anymore. even though writing in my strong suit; i have too. i think i will be asking for help because i don’t know how to go about my research paper. i got the information but where do i sart; sort of thing. it is getting hard for me to think even though it is early. i just want to sleep. already ready for bed and going to sleep early. i hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

today has been kind of an ache. well was up really early to take out the dog and stepped outside and it was pouring cats and dogs; figuratively speaking. step out in the rain and let the dog do his business, he was anxious to get inside because of the rain, for me it was a wake up call for me; the rain woke me up. lol. as i got ready for class i had asked the professor that i would be leaving early because of an appointment i had. he let me leave early. it was still bad outside; weather wise and tried to arrive on time; i did! checked in and waited two minutes before they came and got me. spent a few hours getting x-rays and getting a checked up to make sure everything was good. sure enough all was good. the only bad thing was that one of my wisdom teeth is laying on it’s side and will have to be surgically removed. =O\ but i need them out because of the headaches i get from them making their way in. when the consult was finished i headed home, called my mom and when i arrived she had a bowl of her homemade chicken soup ready for me. it was awesome! had to run a few errands after that before taking off to my old house out of town. staying a few days and needed a break and since i was having a four day weekend, i thought it would be good to see all my old friends who where coming into town and who i hadn’t see in a really long time. hope they have a safe trip, see you folks soon. heading there now.

O_o

look here! no matter how many times you call, text, email or even want to talk to me. it will never happen and you will never ever get a response back from me unless it is to tell you that i am putting a restraining order into effect. how could you do what you did and try to apologize for it now. if what you said was your word, why didn’t you stick to it. i knew one day this day would come, karma is a bitch and if it coming back to you ten fold go cry to the guy you cheated & left me for. like i told you before, leave me alone and live your own life. quit trying to interfere with mine. oh and secondly i still stand by i never want to see you, talk to you or ever hear from you ever again. i don’t know how i did not ever see it. you slipped up and got caught. who’s fault is that. not mine for damn sure. if this wasn’t as clear as can be; i dont know what ever will be for you. good bye. and thanks for ruining my afternoon. guess today is unlucky for a reason.

to a much needed venting O_o