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Tag Archives: soul

what a day, woke up early to take the dog out and wait for the cable guy. the internet has been going out and so has the cable box and the appointment was today early in the morning to get it fixed. since the problem could not be fixed we got all boxes switched out. the guy took around an hour and i really had to get to my parents house. after i signed my soul away on the contract and the cable guy left, i got ready and headed to my parents house. we are going to have family over for christmas and i had to remove a few things from the room. i was there mostly all day with out a single bite to eat. i was too concentrated on getting everything fixed up and organized. on the drive home is when it hit me that i hadn’t eaten since the morning, i had a bowl of cereal. finally i had eaten and i woke up from a slight nap a little while ago. i still have more stuff to do tomorrow and i am cutting it really short. time for me to get some real sleep. i hope all had a good day. be safe. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

not to many people know the real but what they do know is the unreal. their is trust, hope & power to endure. in a slight way i have been doing some research and/or ‘soul searching’ as most like to call it. i am so near, i can feel it, it is in my grasp all i have to do is grab life by the horns and GO! i began looking back at a few moments in my life and i have to say, well it’s to personal. i made a promise to myself many years ago, i slipped and never was able to get up from that trip. until just recently. i kept kicking myself in the ass everyday; but i never showed that because i had to be strong and not show weakness and thought to myself, why can’t i be here; now!?! maybe it was my conscious telling me something. i picked up on it very fast. but enough of that. i never thought i could smile like i have been for the past few moments. it feels really great. i am grateful and glad for it. i have another day tomorrow, i have to get this completed. it is either that or i will never man up to have a carrer. even though i still am unsure of the choice, but we will see. tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. thank you for caring and putting that smile on my face today, you don’t know how bad i needed this cheer up; it stretches from ear to ear, just in case you didn’t know. in conclusion it is time to get this done!

thanks O_o

today like many other past days I read my horoscope, it said “you need to do whatever it takes to avoid arguments with the family or in the home.” which i so tried to, people just do not listen, one in particular. I came home from school to emptiness besides my best friend, T. he knows what is up. he listens. he is my protector. he never talks back and we kick it and play when we feel like it. I had to go back to school to pick up some valuable information for later classes, I was hoping that at least one of two of my books had arrived when I would return but I returned to a nat. the kind of nat that buzzes around your ear and keps going and going and going, etc. it wasn’t that I wanted to be lazy but I kind of did, I just wanted some piece and quiet for as much as I could get. but NO!!! the nat came along, I was not interested in running errands that are right up the road, when the nat could take care of their own stuff. i am tired of being a messenger and errand boy that I will now refuse to do things that will take me away from my studies. I am TRYING to bust my tail to get ahead. I’m TRYING!!!!! i’m not the fu*king genie where it’s like *POOF* what do you need? *POOF* what do you need?*POOF* what do you need? we all need our space, I am not cranky, I slept well; early too. but this stops NOW!!!! you want something you go get it. for one; your taking me away from studying so you can kick back and relax, second you have money, a truck and a foot, mouth and hands to get what you want. no more favors for now. I have stuff I need to take care of as first priority. I wont go get it now, later, tonight, tomorrow, day after…

to maybe having an off day O_o

reading this book is making me think. I know it’s a big series of books about a certain kind of story but what it makes me wonder is the three characters here are all sort of like me. I act like two of them as one but feel what the other has gone through, the bigger wonder is if I would ever be able to recover, I have always been hurt, is it just bad timing? am I even caple of giving it?? should I know what it is??? what do i need to change???? or not change????? I know right this second that I am not ready for anything new but friendships, walls that have never been up feel like they are going up around the center, I don’t know what the future holds for me now but all I can do for now is try, Try TRY! I have a new determination that I had several times ago, that was helped into seeing, to achieve my goals in life. I want a career, a degree and to get accepted. that is what I want for the time being. I do miss a lot of things, like they say “take it day by day, one step at a time.” I don’t really know how to cope on this one, nothing was done wrong to me. I do need a little help with this one. in conclusion, I know what I want, but will need all the help, push, motivation and determination to help me get there. please.

to a living soul O_o

am I in trouble? was I ever there? when should I be? did it? was it? there is? every song heard is kind of scaring me right now, they are all answering of these questions in my head that I am afraid to say out loud or even write, the funny thing is I am normally a happy-pusher next when my music is set to shuffle and I have yet to touch the skip to next song. I can finally hear all the lyrics and they make sense.

“can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? because I could really use a wish right now!” – BoB

“the smell of you in every dream I dream, I knew if we collided, your the one I decided whose one of my kind” – Train

“if I could rewind both hands of time, I would never find a lovelier design, nothing is lovelier then you” – BoB

“heartbeats, heartbeats, beating hearts with _ _ _ _ , heartbeats, heartbeats” – Grum

those are just to name a few of many songs played right now on my iPhone jammin’. I hope this is a good thing. I am not one to do many things but when I do, they are meant to learn from. I just felt I had to get this out but couldn’t speak it out, but I can sure write it out. enjoy.

music for thoughts O_o

Good Morning folks this was the earliest I have ever written a post, I felt the need I had to because I just looked into it and did some research and looked up the meaning to the aspects of the dream and it turns out it was a good thing. the song that was being sung was a good one that I recently downloaded by my favorite country music group; Rascal Flatts. I think what it was that I slept with my headphones on with music playing and that song came on while I was in my REM state of my slumber. It was my older brother, my little big sister and me singing this song (http://blip.fm/~qzhal) while we were walking towards room where our family was eating pizza. I think the song came through the headphones, into my ears and then into my conscious sleepy mind. “To sing in your dream, represents happiness, harmony and joy in some situation or relationship. You are uplifting others with your positive attitude and cheerful disposition. Singing is a way to celebrate, communicate and express your feelings. To hear someone sing in your dream, signifies emotional and spiritual fulfillment. You are changing your mood and experiencing a more positive outlook in life.” – dream dictionary. with ending it is a good song, I like it a lot, “you can do what you think is impossible” was the best line that I remembered. which is true. as long as you put work into it, you can do anything you put your mind too, no matter how difficult. unstoppable O_o