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everything is messy today and has gone wrong today. i woke up late, i was out of food to make breakfast but i was still able to have my coffee, but the last errands i had to run got sidetracked because i was asked to go to the mall and try to find some stuff and to make a few payments. i got ready and headed out, it was horrible! i disliked it very much, there are not many things i dislike but this ranks up there. i felt claustrophobic everywhere i walked. people screaming and kids yelling and on top of that took me about half an hour to find parking. ugh. tomorrow is near, going to visit my friend and go to the gym. i hope all have a great day. see y’all later.

O_o

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today i was woken up early by my dreams. it was like what happens on inception, a dream within a dream, i was walking through a mall and with a co-worker and telling him different things when out of the blue i hear my name called i turn and turn to try to find where that voice was coming from. i was getting anxious and then kept walking and talking, moments later i could see a figure of  some sort pixelating in front of me; while this is happening my co-worker is still talking and walking; what i saw i didn’t know because i began thinking in my head to wake up. before that an arm tried grabbing me and then at that moment it was as if i could see myself waking up but it was still a dream. then in the distant could hear tumbler barking and it got louder to where i did actuall wake up for real.

after that it was early and i was able to make me a healthy breakfast and throw on a pot of coffee, sure enough i downed two cups before leaving to school and took a third with me. went to school took my test and realized some of the questions i didn’t know must of been the ones i missed class because i overslept. it is to early to tell but i don’t know how i did and wont find out until my final on next friday. after that i made it home to grab my stuff for work and headed to work.

when i arrived i greeted all co-workers and couldn’t remember for the life of me what my co-worker in my dream was telling. he was running around everywhere and i never got a chance to converse with the guy and i got busy working the whole day. i was curious and was trying to see how i was doing so far and started talking with the supervisor and he said i was doing good but to slow down on working so much, i was taking work from the others because i am asking for more work. lol. i was taken to lunch by some of the guys at work, i think the talk i had with them they finally trust me. returned and got straight to work. i think i was more distracted today by everyone then i ever have. i’m the youngest one there, it wasn’t too long ago that i was in the shoes of the kids that come and go. i had finished my last set of paper work on the deadline a few minutes before leaving. once i left for home that was that.

i arrived home and arrived early so i changed really fast and headed to the park to go running with my dog, again. since i arrived early to the park it was still some daylight out, i did my thing and it was too early to go home i decided to go another mile or so and then return home. it turned out just perfect. i was able to run a bit more in a short period of time. then returned home.

after arriving home got my sandwich out and ate before starting back up on my work i have to catch up on. it is a lot and i just woke up from a half hour nap i took. i have to get to work early tomorrow and will be going to sleep after getting ready for bed. i hope all had a good day and a safe night. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

woke up around mid-day, had my brunch and two cups of coffee and went on my day. cleaned, laid down, read, wrote and ate until i headed off to the store with my family. while at the store i found two small statues of a bodhisattva. i have started some study of buddhism but i have to start slow because the end result is tough but a good outcome. found a few other things i need too but that will have to wait for later. i hope all had a good day, school and life starts back up tomorrow. you have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

been crazy busy and i am the coffee isn’t helping to keep me up, have gone just about everywhere in my head to reach the answers to write these reports. some are okay to write but the others are getting a bit more difficult when writers block is creeping up really slowly, i just feel it. got to get back to these reports for school and work. hope all had a good day. good night, be safe, sleep well and sweet dreams.

O_o

really quick, i have been busy all day. i have not stopped writing and running around everywhere. yeah i thought today would be easy but i guessed wrong. the funniest part of my day was during work, i had a little bit of time and did some quick research and was able to write a report. i really didn’t want them to find out i was doing school work on company time so when someone would pass by or ask me a question i quickly minimized my window. they spread a rumor i was internal affairs trying to see what was the dirt to have someone fired. i went along with it but played it off really well. always answering a question with another question. was able to only get half of it done, after work i made a quick dash home to change clothes and headed to school library. got some more sources for my reports. took me a while to find a few sources but by the time i knew it the school library was closing. headed home and am almost done but going to have to wake up early to finish it. hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today was a busy day to say the least. i was up in time for school got ready for work at the same time and headed to school. the professor was late. while we waited a classmate who had never acknowledge anyone started talking with me. i was dressed up according to what work wanted me to wear. he wanted to know if i worked for a company because i had my identification card in the shirt pocket and i told him no, i let him know where i work but couldn’t discuss anymore because of the privacy forms i was give to sign about not releasing any information about the clients and also a confidentiality contract. moments later the professor arrived, even after being five minutes late opening the door he takes off to his office and five minutes later he returns. while we; the remaining students, were thinking he would start on the lecture, he went on another ten minute rant about other non-related material. everyone was kind of frustrated or agitated that he took and is taking forever to start on the lecture. after school i had to come home to take out tumbler to do his business, i got my paperwork and other materials i needed for work.

i headed to work. today i was taught how to log into the main system and because the boss was not there; i wasn’t going to get a username and password to the system just yet. i did have many case loads to follow up on and a few files that i had to find and send and refile. as the day was going my coworkers started to open up and i got to know more of how they are. they’re funny at times but when it is time to work they buckle down and get serious about there job. i like that kind of atmosphere. tomorrow is another busy day of files and letters and more papers. i can’t really discuss too much about some of the things i do because of some legal actions that have happend in the past and a confidentiality contract that limits me on what i can say and actually talk about. some people bring their work home with them, i can’t. i am liable and i am watched very closely. i think some of the stories told to me are bizarre but i think they actually happened but are exaggerated a little to seem better for a story teller. like i have heard and read before that “lies are easier to remember then the truth.” i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today when i woke up from a wonderful dream i thought i had heard a noise. i washed my face and headed out the back door at my parents house. i had to go because my brother wanted to see a movie and i tagged along and when it finished i joined him to my parents with nothing but the clothes on me and my handy dandy iphone. after stepping outside i heard a clank. i asked myself; what is that noise?! it turns out it was three kittens. i was only able to get a hold of one while the others scrambled. it was funny because the other two ran one way and the one i caught ran into a box and it looked like he was disappointed from being caught. lol. it got me thinking while i held it in my hands; “wow! i have a small living organism in my hands right now.” for that moment i realized it was safe in my hands then from the world beyond my hands. if need be; i was able to protect a life. it also reminded me of what i used to do with you, i tried to protect you secretively. just so if something were to go wrong i always played out the senario out in my head for everything. i am just paranoid about life sometimes.

“life. it is so precious.”

i was also remembered of this test i took recently for a job to help lives. i was asked a question about my life, i answered as truthfully as i could. i did and i am in. as the day went on the day involved more lives to enter in my view. for the first time in many months we were all together. in a way that brought a smile to my face and the almost feeling of having something in my eye. ever since i was told, i have been more appreciative of all life. now with my current position i am able to help those who just need a little push in the right direction. i show what good can come. i think i found my niche. everyone has their own story to tell and it is interesting to listen. i know there are days where i need to talk but from a philosophical point i just need someone to hear me out and i would take what ever is told to me in consideration. even though i have been shut out from somethings i still have a lot to learn. given the opportunity i will continue to help others. i was asked why that makes me happy this weekend and my response to my brother was i like seeing people happy, if i can make one change and that person carries it on to another then i have just started a chain. if i were to help a hundred people and more then half carried it on that is still okay with me because i would know i made the attempt to help when no one else ever would. he was stunned by my answer; speechless to be exact.

after joining my visiting parents to the store, i saw a bunch of camping gear and now trying to plan a camping trip. it has been over two years now since i have been. it is now that time to reconnect with nature. i hope i can get it before turkey day or before winter is here. it is getting late now and have a busy day tomorrow. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

is it crazy to say that my life just flashed before my eyes. what a day of doing everything i can, i know there is more meaning to this world and i am bound to find out what it will be. whoever enjoys a journey follow it, now you can’t say no one never told you as it has been told to me.

“it is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you will be”

no matter what, i shoot for the small to make the climb to the bigger. because what if fine isn’t good enough? what if what we search for is extraordinary. i am scared; everyday. our time is right here! right now! give it your all because there may not be another opportunity like the one that is in front of you. i just had this sort of feeling stir up in me these past few hours because the first step to better times is to imagine them. hope all had a wonderful day. may all have a good night and dream that dream.

O_o

wow! really?! that has got to be one of the most frequent things i have been hearing about myself from others lately. i am too nice! was talking with some old friends today and have found out that; for the fourth and fifth time now; that i am a nice person. it seems to be portrayed as a bad thing. when can i show the world that good does still exist in this world and it’s a good thing?! really guys. c’mon! i couldn’t believe my ears. is being “bad” a good thing?! i live my life “safe” as some people believe to be a bad thing; for the reason that i have been through hell and back. for those who know me and my family know best; very few people actually do. i became the person you know today for personal reasons that i didn’t want to end up like a few, well many close relatives i know. it is a tragedy. breaks people’s hearts, especially even if one day you know you will one day get that phone call when something bad has happened or worse. is it wrong that a few beliefs i have can be appreciated by some, and not by all. but then again; it is my life! i am in no way saying i am perfect because i am not but still, live my life with morals to one day show others that not all we do can be a stigma and carry on with our legacy. i don’t know whether to be angry or disappointed. but after hearing it five times from different people, it astonishes me; really! i guess people’s perception of good is actually bad. wow! i really can’t believe it. even after this i still hope everyone has a great night. deuce.

por siempre O_o

today felt “wishy washy” i did get everything i needed done. i had a few set backs but nothing major, easily repairable but as far as other things i couldn’t get quite right. after some hard searching and thinking i was able to figure out what i had needed, just had to look back in my notebook. one of my handy dandy notebooks helped as well. i got to printing all the pages i needed for my class tomorrow and with some reading i was able to understand what i needed to do. i hope it is what i ned tomorrow and that i didn’t forget anything. everything has beed a big weight on my shoulders for a long time now that i think it is finally starting to spill over into my everyday life. i am getting tired faster when i should be studying and my body fails and shuts down and reboots it self moments later, it has happened for several days now. i know what i have to do but i just don’t know where to find something good for me, that will help me out later. i have tried all my contacts and everyone seems hesitant to take back what they said when i was told that if i ever needed anything, now there are nowhere to be found. i was looking into my school email when i stumbled across several emails that; because of my progress think i would be a great asset to there fraternity. i declined all four offers, i am no where near as done as i want to be with school. i am fighting every chance i get. and will fight until the end. have a wonderful night folks and sweet dreams.

O_o

some of these latin name that are in my book are going to be difficult to remember for a test. i still have one more book to buy, i hope i can at least find it. when i went on saturday on of the book stores was closed, the computers were down, epic fail. i got school in the morning and wont have time to stop there first and get the book so i have devised a plan to take notes but at the same time record the class with a recording device also known as my phone. with the first attempt i could hear people in the background coughing and shuffling and moving papers. i got to see if sitting closer will help. it should be, well i think i will let you know tomorrow, because i can not make an educated guess at the moment since my brain is not working properly. it is tired and is making me tired and sleepy, with that everyone have a good and safe night folk, especially you, yeah you right there! yeah, you!! lol.

O_o

today was my “half birthday” only a few people know exactly what i am talking about but they’re not here with us to celebrate. i found out that i am eight thousand five hundred and eighty two days old. that is a long time! that is a different story but now onto what got my day going, i got to reading; reading something i probably shouldn’t have. and then it started! it started to make me think, the kind of thinking that you never forget and the thought just keeps swirling in your head and you can’t stop thinking about it. when they say read the fine print, read it! i made a fool of myself at the window the other day, until now it is hitting me that i need to read every document given to me, word for word and not skip over and signing it and just turning it in; like i would normally do. i was told many moons ago that when you sign a document it becomes a legal document and are responsible for it until it is put into a file. with that, it has taken me a day to read and reread this document before i sign and turn it in. i am a couple days away from the biggest day of my life to begin and the more it nears; the more anxious i am getting, whether i get in or not. continue to stay tuned to see what will happen. lol.

anxious O_o