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Monthly Archives: July 2010

today was like any other day, sun blaring, birds chirping, no clouds, windy, and above all spending it with my dad. arrived at a doctors house near the mall, it was fun driving down a steep hill, so much momentum. lol the doctor had set up the job with my dad last week and finally told us what he wanted, we had to construct a custum patio overhang (roof) with skylights and tin sheets. it took us most of the day but we got it done. it turned out the homeowner was a doctor who worked for the department of infectious diseases here in town. he was a top research developer and chemist that he was on a team looking for a cure for breast cancer. i am familiar with that situation because of someone really close to me and my family. i saw the hell she had to go through but is a survivor and has been well. she does so much for us, it is quite amazing. i do hope they do find a cure one day for it, after seeing what she had to go through, it must be hard for all the other women and men out there that do have to go through it. to this day, i am a huge supporter for the fight of breast cancer and live strong campaign. hope you are too. after a while my dad asked him a few questions and i walked in to the conversation and the doctor said they maybe was a slight chance for a cure, maybe within the next few years. with today technological advances anything is possible. well to tired to write anymore, it is time for bed but have a good night and a better tomorrow.

LiveStrong O_o

took some initiative today no matter the circumstance with my foot, it needed to be done. just got back with my mom from austin. we went to take care of a few things while we were there, took a few hours but we got it done. i got to drive the big truck today. had my son (aka my dog, tumbler lol) in the back seat, he was crashed out the whole trip there and back. before we left i had to throw on my music, made me feel country. driving a big diesel truck feels great and heavy. we were lugging a tractor, i felt safer for me driving rather then my mom because i could maneuver the truck in ways that my mom doesn’t really know how. just about every song came on that i used to sing…, it feels good to release my voice in the vehicle again. with driving the truck it got me thinking, i still need to fix up my truck, a few things are missing in the engine before it can fully run. i love my shelby (my car) but i just don’t feel as safe as i should be. the truck is a rare classic truck and once she is done she will be branded with the name tiffany, she is a sea foam green color with black and silver accents; just seemed suitable. it is so old school that it has no power anything but a radio and if i am correct an a/c, which texas heat days should come in handy. all the work that we did today plus the heat took a toll on me. my back is sore, and my foot is getting slightly better too. i am just taking a wild guess and believe that yesterday was my off day. we all have them. still hope for the best. have a great night and great day tomorrow.

gone country O_o

today was suppose to be a day of working, what it turned out to be was a downer or bummer. my morning wasn’t so great, woke up at six thirty because of the pain killers wearing off; my foot was in a slight bit more of pain. my mom couldn’t see me suffer anymore and she decided we would head down to see the chiropractor but he wasn’t available due to family issues. then we went to see if my cousin knew anybody and had no luck there. as the day went on i rested on the couch, i knew what would be coming tomorrow and needed all the rest i could take. the pain i am in i can control, one wrong move and i pull the muscle and hurt myself, my parents are afraid if i don’t get this fixed now that it could come back later when i am older and haunt me and might possibly be worse. as if that wasn’t enough; i got an email reminder to pay my classes. if i didn’t i would lose them. well because i got a non passing grade during summer the school decided to deny my chance at getting aid. my tuition jumped to a whopping eight hundred dollars minus books. i had to drop out of a class in order to make a slight payment to even keep my classes. i am very bummed about that, but this isn’t getting me down that easily. i am a fighter and have always been. i want to rant out but what would be the point, it is my fault i could have gotten a better grade, formulas and steps are more difficult to follow sometimes for me. if i made this mistake it is time for me to take responsibility for my actions and put blame on me instead of the world. i do put myself down sometimes but i have to in order for me to learn not to do it again. i believe in myself as well as other see expectations in me too. i glad some people do believe. now it is my turn to appreciate everybody for that and show them there encouragement meant the world to me. i am very sorry if i have let anyone down, my time is now! i am seeing to much i don’t want to see. that is enough of my day, how was yours?

being responsible O_o

today was suppose to be a hard working day, got up; well tried too. something is wrong with my left foot, i took a blue pill last night and it made me follow the rabbit down the rabbit hole and it made me sleepy. i think the drugs that were administered made me paralyzed at night, i didn’t wake up at all, as if i was in a continuous dream. a strange one at that but anywho i couldn’t even walk when i heard tapping on the window. it was good ‘ol mr. rain. it was raining and from what i was suppose to do got delayed. going to make a second attempt tomorrow. hope i can do it on my damaged foot. i think i may have hyperextended it again, the first time was two winters ago when i made an attempt to quickly remove a boot i was trying on and couldn’t walk and the next time while i slept i got a charlie horse and this time i was in a way dazed that i think i may have pulled it while sleeping or from jogging up a hill quickly. i can deal with the pain, what i can’t deal with is not being able to walk correctly, i am waddling or wobbling everywhere. kind of reminds me of a penguin, not to mention i was dressed in black today and made the jokes come to easy for my parents. have tried everything to make the swelling go down but no luck. my parents said they would drive me to see a known chiropractor but he lives way far. going to keep wobbling on it and make the attempt to walk on it correctly. just popped in two red pills (pain killers) and we will see how bad it is tomorrow morning. hope everything is well. have a great night and a great day tomorrow.

alive & kicking O_o

today i received some new that caught me off guard, while i went to school to attempt talk to my director of my program about graduation, the receptionist told me he was out and there was another professor just down several offices. i went, it was my old professor from a class i had taken several years go, i never forget a face like his; he looks like a slim version of santa claus. lol i got to asking him a few questions i still had unanswered and attempted to try to enroll in the internship program, not everyone can get right into it, there is a special hold that the director has to take off in order to be signed up for it. he asked about my classes and let him know that i was ready to almost graduate and maybe finish by december. well he dropped a nuclear bomb on me and asked if i had known about another program that also was available but never thrown in the direction to students just starting off (freshman). it really got me thinking, all it is, is another two classes and a second internship and i would be able to receive two degrees. but i would have to stay another semester. i told him about my future plans and encouraged me to step it up a notch and dedicate myself to my studies if i want to follow through with this given opportunity. i am going for it! it is two degrees in a year, i have worked hard but not hard enough, i know this is my second chance at school and have to kick ass instead of kicking my own ass for not going to school, like i did a year ago. school is great and i like learning, i just have to keep interest and not get fried or burnt out of it. i have to go back on the ninth of august to make sure everything is in order. in conclusion the mountain is in front of me and now it is time for the climb. (reminds me of her song lol)

the climb begins O_o

not to many people know the real but what they do know is the unreal. their is trust, hope & power to endure. in a slight way i have been doing some research and/or ‘soul searching’ as most like to call it. i am so near, i can feel it, it is in my grasp all i have to do is grab life by the horns and GO! i began looking back at a few moments in my life and i have to say, well it’s to personal. i made a promise to myself many years ago, i slipped and never was able to get up from that trip. until just recently. i kept kicking myself in the ass everyday; but i never showed that because i had to be strong and not show weakness and thought to myself, why can’t i be here; now!?! maybe it was my conscious telling me something. i picked up on it very fast. but enough of that. i never thought i could smile like i have been for the past few moments. it feels really great. i am grateful and glad for it. i have another day tomorrow, i have to get this completed. it is either that or i will never man up to have a carrer. even though i still am unsure of the choice, but we will see. tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. thank you for caring and putting that smile on my face today, you don’t know how bad i needed this cheer up; it stretches from ear to ear, just in case you didn’t know. in conclusion it is time to get this done!

thanks O_o

i finally got in, i have waited over a month to get in, i hope with this will help. i have been prolonging it and procrastinating too long now. august tenth is it. we will see what happens.

nervous O_o

today was perplexed, i was confused and forgot a lot of things today. not really sure why though. today wasn’t too shabby, stayed in bed for the morning, and when i got up decided to wash the car, only cleaned it half way the other day and today completely finished it all. it was way to hot to do anything, i stayed inside talking and playing with tumbler. started to do some light research, i am way too confused to make a strong solid decision. they say being indecisive leaves room for flexibility, it is slightly true, when i wasn’t able to go one route i was always able to find another to get to my destination. is that wrong?! i still got where i wanted to be but took longer then expected. but even with a decision like this i am looking at every factor, good and bad, right and wrong. from what i read it says not to make a decision yet because time will come where i will need to make the choice and will be the right one. as far as that tomorrow will be a indecisive day. i know what i have to do and it is a must to get my degree but what will i choose?!?! i am still not too sure yet. we will see. in conclusion let’s see what tomorrow brings, one day at a time. hope you are well, how was you week(end)?

to decision making O_o

it says to be truthful; so here goes, i have been bombarded with questions of me not working, to be honest i really don’t like having a boss or someone shoving me around, i really like the idea of me being my own boss. it is a tough thing to do but starting today i am now an entrepreneur! my only job that i really like was; sadly enough; abrecrombie, even though i had a boss, he really wasn’t a boss to me, he gave me power to be my own boss and because of him i joined the corporation for two years but once he was gone i lost that privilege. i was working just to be able to listen to the music. crazy to say but it is true, my inspiration to be a better dj was in the store. even when he was gone i was taken of my “title” but it was only stripped for a short time, when the rotation of four new managers came in, three of them gave me that power and had the same passion for music as i did and things went back to normal. i was able to be happy working, everyone hated me; like always; because i was able to release some of my mixes live on the sales floor. it felt really great when people came up to me and asked me questions about my love for music. i am slowly getting that feeling back, i have remastered an old project that i had started because a friend and her friends liked my stuff and asked if i would ever release a new type of mix, from way back in the day when i started to now there has been a whole new music list that needs to be updated. i am still in the editing process and it still isn’t right, in my ears. to me a dj is someone who can adapt to anything, which i have been able to with all my genres of music. everyone i know likes more of a specific type of music and they all have different taste, i personally wouldn’t be able to choose one, i like them all, even though there are a few exceptions. i have been taught that i should love what i do instead of taking the easy way out; they are right! i have read a few things and do like what i have read. it is a completely different way of life but every survey i take comes up with the same answer(s). i know i can’t be what i dream of being but maybe it is a different significance with the same attitude, may not make sense now but if and when i am done; i will be my own boss and make my own rules and will be able to say something that is at the tip of my tongue right now and i have always wanted to say. in conclusion i am getting closer to what i was meant to be.

to me being me O_o

it’s quite funny how this quote; “just when you’ve had enough, life gives you more. And just when you think it’s rained enough, it starts to pour.” — Bob Moorehead, makes so much sense today. just as we thought we helped out my uncle with his stuff, it turns out we were mistaken. turns out he needs another test, he might have a second tumor on the opposite side of his liver. it news that keeps getting worse. it sucks and i really hope everything gets better. with that, i hope everyone stays safe and well.

to good health O_o

been trying not to think. it hurts not to bit I needed some time to really think, I remember bring told I was a thinker, indeed I am, like the rest of my family, we see big thing, we dream big things, and we are all in some way connected. little bit of this and a little bit of that. like my older sibling once told me he never like to actually do work bit liked to create the work, even though I may not quite follow in his footsteps I am near close to his ideals, we think alike, been trying to figure me out all day that I have given myself a headache, it hurts and I think I know what shall be my next move. I am looking at all the surrounding items that would go with the decision, good and bad. in conclusion I have yet to make up my mind and am processing every piece by piece.

let’s see what we create O_

i used the sky today as a blanket, so to speak. i slept in after pouring out yesterday. i had forgotten how it used to feel. if it isn’t one thing it is always another. this morning was the first time i had a break. i was woken up really early by tumbler and had to take him out to do his business and i went back to bed. i slept in for a little longer and finally got up. i got a phone call that i wasn’t expecting, in a way i was being stubborn, had to go give some payments and took off and after that stopped by a car dealership to ask a few questions. i didn’t get an answer i was looking for and went home to file through some paperwork to find the answer but got discouraged and left it alone. started to make some lunch and decided to eat healthy, after skipping breakfast; which isn’t so good for me, i went on to finish my to do list. returned back home and fell asleep on the couch for two hours by accident, since it wasn’t dinner time yet, was given the idea to go running, rounded up tumbler and his toy and took a drive. arrived at our usual spot and began, was able to complete my goal of four long laps. i was super beat when i got home. had my starch for the day, which consisted of a plain baked potato. hadn’t had one in a really long time. we stared up in the sky for a bit before we left, even though my best friend couldn’t talk, we had a blast. the day is coming to an end and it is almost time for bed. i love you too tumbler. wouldn’t trade you in for anything. in conclusion dog truly is mans’ best friend. doesn’t talk back, but listens, likes to play and is great company.

to mans’ best friend O_o