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well its been about a week now, it was time to get stuff done for a change, i am starting off the new year with some not so great news, in these past two months our family has lost three people because of illnesses. i don’t know what else is happening around the world, just in my world. we received a phone call early in the morning about the passing away of a cousins’ child. he passed away of leukemia. a few days ago we had another relative pass away with aids; i did mention it before in my previous blogs. then we received news of my uncle being admitted in the hospital for unrelated occurrences. my parents had to go out of the state and well, country. i did have a great conversation and i am super glad i was able to talk to you today, like i told you there are days i just don’t know what to say. i do miss our long talks we used to have. there are a few things i wish for but i will have to wait and see what will happen. i have to go attend to my family right now. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

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what a day! woke up and had to do a few loads of laundry. nothing drastic but it had to be done. since the new year is around the corner i haven’t cut my hair in a few weeks. while i was there i was looking at a hair book, thought i would change it up a bit but i didn’t have enough hair to complete some of the new looks i decided to keep it plain and simple. before i got up the barber asked me if i wanted a design since i had cut it like a few people who ask for the request i asked for. it reminded me of a day you showed me a picture and i joked around saying i would. it made me laugh and giggle for a little while. my brother wanted me to put lightning bolts, as cool as it sounds i don’t think i would ever do it. during that i received a phone call from my brother and had to call him back. when i did he gave me some great news. i have to prepare a few things and i have an early morning departure from home. i get to be put to work for the new year. i am very grateful for this. i hope all had a good day and happy early-ish birthday. =) time for me to sleep. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

had a productive day today even though i had woken up from almost being asleep for thirteen hours. i was able to finish a few more reports today. since it was cool outside and i needed to drop off some books at the library, i went to the dog park downtown with tumbler and walked to the library to get some fresh air and drop off the books. on our way back we spent a little more time at the park and my parents called and asked me to meet them for dinner. we went home and i got ready to go meet them. we had our dinner and talked, i was joking with my mom that i wasn’t going to go into school because i didn’t feel like it and she told my dad and my dad was twenty-one questioning me, what was really going on was that i don’t have class because of finals but i neglected to let them know that part. i started on my next report and got half way through it. it is kind of late and i am getting sleepy, going to call it a night. hope all had a good day. stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today i was woken up early by my dreams. it was like what happens on inception, a dream within a dream, i was walking through a mall and with a co-worker and telling him different things when out of the blue i hear my name called i turn and turn to try to find where that voice was coming from. i was getting anxious and then kept walking and talking, moments later i could see a figure of  some sort pixelating in front of me; while this is happening my co-worker is still talking and walking; what i saw i didn’t know because i began thinking in my head to wake up. before that an arm tried grabbing me and then at that moment it was as if i could see myself waking up but it was still a dream. then in the distant could hear tumbler barking and it got louder to where i did actuall wake up for real.

after that it was early and i was able to make me a healthy breakfast and throw on a pot of coffee, sure enough i downed two cups before leaving to school and took a third with me. went to school took my test and realized some of the questions i didn’t know must of been the ones i missed class because i overslept. it is to early to tell but i don’t know how i did and wont find out until my final on next friday. after that i made it home to grab my stuff for work and headed to work.

when i arrived i greeted all co-workers and couldn’t remember for the life of me what my co-worker in my dream was telling. he was running around everywhere and i never got a chance to converse with the guy and i got busy working the whole day. i was curious and was trying to see how i was doing so far and started talking with the supervisor and he said i was doing good but to slow down on working so much, i was taking work from the others because i am asking for more work. lol. i was taken to lunch by some of the guys at work, i think the talk i had with them they finally trust me. returned and got straight to work. i think i was more distracted today by everyone then i ever have. i’m the youngest one there, it wasn’t too long ago that i was in the shoes of the kids that come and go. i had finished my last set of paper work on the deadline a few minutes before leaving. once i left for home that was that.

i arrived home and arrived early so i changed really fast and headed to the park to go running with my dog, again. since i arrived early to the park it was still some daylight out, i did my thing and it was too early to go home i decided to go another mile or so and then return home. it turned out just perfect. i was able to run a bit more in a short period of time. then returned home.

after arriving home got my sandwich out and ate before starting back up on my work i have to catch up on. it is a lot and i just woke up from a half hour nap i took. i have to get to work early tomorrow and will be going to sleep after getting ready for bed. i hope all had a good day and a safe night. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

everything was good, i was okay with the family, we were all laughing and what not while eating turkey. once we were done i sat down on the couch, watching my little brother pack his clothes and waiting to say goodbye because he had to work for black friday and he lives far away. while he was almost done we got a phone call, i could hear someone talking on the phone saying okay we will be there right away. i knew it wasn’t anybody from my family because we were all accounted for. it turns out it was a distant family member and they were in town and they were lost. automatically i was thrown in the pool to go get them and take them where ever they needed to go. every year it is te same thing! i want to relax and someone always has to ruin it. call me mean or whatever but i was home to relax. something i have been wanting to do for a very long time but no! i had to do other things then relax. i don’t think i ever can remember a time when we have had no interruptions and been able to celebrate this thankful day in peace. i am not angry just a little annoyed that this always happens. but i am over it and going to sleep. i hope all had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday break. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

thanks for ruining my thanksgiving. this was a day for me to relax, not to be a tour guide or a hotel. i love how i am automatically volunteered to follow through with something without being consulted and i am expected to be happy about it. yeah thanks so much.

O_o

today has been a wake up call above all other things. all happened during work. what i did was nothing compared to what i have done before, i was able to sit in with a few families and saw how things could possibly take a turn for the worse. i could relate to some of the things going on but some of the other things i couldn’t relate too. i was sort of shocked of what was told to me by strangers i have never met before. everyone beat around the bush and said i looked liked a trustworthy person and that’s why they were able to talk to someone like me. with the confidentiality agreement i had signed i was to report any harmful actions to one self or others. luckily what i was told wasn’t life threatening, it was mostly just a cry to be heard. some of the stories were a little tough to hear but it got me thinking that if i can possibly fix my problems i would be open to help others who are going through some of the little things i was and have been struggling with. i got to talking and listening to one case, wow did i feel bad for the kid, the parent wasn’t making an attempt but the child wanted to better themselves and the parent was just being ignorant that it made the child feel embarrassed to say the least. i did all in my power that i could today and felt like i made a difference in their lives and possibly the parents. as i got home i just wanted to rest but knew i couldn’t. stuff had to get done. as i ended up being done my parents were over and started cooking. i like having family dinners. i really do enjoy them, we are a lively crowd of crazy people, in my thoughts; well maybe as others see us too. lol. who knows?! i am getting to tired to keep writing. stay safe. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

what an adventurous day. this morning around five or six i woke up to a freezing body, the cold had really set in. i was covered up completely but still being motionless the would just rise and since we had no heater or fire me and my friend were cold. finally after trying to warm up i hoped out of the tent and started the fire. we were prohibited to start one because of the burn banned that was in effect but i had to make some breakfast. after starting up the fire i woke my friend to come join me to get closer to the fire so he wouldn’t be cold, moments later after joining me we were both warm enough to move around.

we started cooking. we ate and then began talking of what was next. after a little while we bagan to pack up and turn off the fire. there were too many coals and the rock pit we rocks we had used to make the pit were too hot and we had just turned it out and left it there for the next patron to acquire our site to use it.

after everything was packed up and consolidated we headed back with our walking sticks. the sticks helped out from going forward or backwards on the steep hills. after that hike with more stuff then we came in with we arrived to the car about thirty minutes later. we saw a lot of people heading the opposite direction and were heading up the mountain. i wished i could have stayed for longer but couldn’t. future plans of a trip are around the corner. this time we know what to bring. there is also planning of possibly bringing others with us next time.

on our drive back i was able to take more pictures. some were slightly blurry but i did what i could on my phone. after getting home i was able to relax. after letting my parents know i got home safely i was told to change and get ready to go to my little cousins birthday party. i really didn’t want to go from being exhausted. i went. had some food and just wanted to get back home, was dropped off and turned on the television. a movie came on that i have never seen before and i watched it. it was funny and good mind you it was an animated movie. most animations are funny to me either way. lol.

it is late already and i am super tired. got some homework to do tomorrow and a few paper and notes to do. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

what a day. i am exhausted. i kept waking up last night after every ninety minutes, it was just for a brief minute or two then fell back asleep. i think it was from being paranoid and all the crazy new i had heard from yesterday. i was once told “you can not un-know something.” with yesterday i think i was inspired to really work harder in everything i do. i sometimes wonder why bad things happen to us when we do no wrong to others. but those are just brief moments when i have time to think. lately i have been really busy. school and work is taking over my life now. i am awaiting a very important phone call. i think i was called but i never answer a unknown number. if you want me to answer just show your number, i will be more then happy to answer. i know what is nearing, i have been overwhelmed with so many things that i have come to realize that i do miss quite a few things in my life, not to mention the dreams i have had; they continue and always surprise me in the morning. i know it sucks because i had everything i ever wanted. i know they say the heart wants what the heart wants. i know what i want but can’t have it. i have tried ever so much. i do not know what to do anymore. i miss you like crazy. i have never said anything until now. done with home work for now. time to get some rest. tomorrow is another long day. stay safe. hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

agua O_o

what a day, even to say the least. i slept in again, my back was hurting and i had a tylenol pm and it worked wonders but i didn’t wake up in time. but i was woken up in time for work. on my way into work i was placed as the person to bring ice for a social gathering for work, we were going to celebrate boss day. i realized i have been working for six weeks and i have joned a new family, what i do is easy but may not be suitable for others, as shown. as the day went on i got a call, i knew what was to come. a change of plans. my brother was home from visiting asia. he needed his car and i was the only one who had time to do so. i am here visiting him now and other friends but i still can’t be free and play. i still have to do things via the web. i need to get them done, my grade depends on it. as far as tonight, i hope all had a better day. stay safe, good night and dream happy dreams.

O_o