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Tag Archives: wish

today was a day to make a wish of the century. it was one-eleven-eleven at eleven:eleven. there were all one’s across the clock. i made mine! did you?!

O_o

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how much is too much? there is information one can’t un-know or un-see. part of me tell me he will come out okay and everything will be fine and the other half of me thinks that if it comes to the worse, it would be best to let go and wish for the best. i don’t really know if i am being selfish but it is in your hands now. whatever decision you make will be okay with me as long as i am able to say goodbye.

O_o

today has been mostly about dealing with the news of yesterday, i will not be at ease until my parents return, they have already been through one scare on their last trip out of the state, i would be there with them, i just don’t have a passport, i know i should have gotten it but i have held it off for too long. since today was not as cheerful i decided to listen to music all day, i still had my new years project to work on. i found several undiscovered songs and wish to use them. i fell asleep listen to music and woke up to take off my headphones and here the thunder outside, tumbler was scared and kept getting up because the floor would shake. time to get some more sleep, good night and dream freely.

O_o

well its been about a week now, it was time to get stuff done for a change, i am starting off the new year with some not so great news, in these past two months our family has lost three people because of illnesses. i don’t know what else is happening around the world, just in my world. we received a phone call early in the morning about the passing away of a cousins’ child. he passed away of leukemia. a few days ago we had another relative pass away with aids; i did mention it before in my previous blogs. then we received news of my uncle being admitted in the hospital for unrelated occurrences. my parents had to go out of the state and well, country. i did have a great conversation and i am super glad i was able to talk to you today, like i told you there are days i just don’t know what to say. i do miss our long talks we used to have. there are a few things i wish for but i will have to wait and see what will happen. i have to go attend to my family right now. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

i have been glued to my music folders in search for all the music i wish to put together for a new years album. it’s late and giving myself a headache. i took a break to watch a basketball game to rid my mind of music for a bit. and then had to get back to working and figuring out what i want and what i don’t. i have filled up a notebook using a permanent marker to get a representation of what i want and what i don’t. going to tell you early to have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i first off have to say happy new years everyone, twenty-ten was good to me and i hope twenty-eleven will grant me all the wishes i have ever asked for in the past. i need to thank everyone for inviting me and making the masquerade baller happen. it is early and i am already awake. i was surprised as most people were during the party, i was nervous for the whole day and was in need of some help, with a simple conversation i was finally able to calm down, thank for your help. going to head to breakfast and enjoy the new year. i meant everything i told you. have a great day. =)

O_o

i don’t want to be mean but some people need to know what to say before they speak. i know you folks are misinformed but look it up. what i study shall not be brought up during work, especially when the boss is around. that is termination talk. i know you probably got mad when i wouldn’t explain myself, but what i do is my business. my religion has nothing to do with it, i told you as much as i wanted to so you could think about it and if you are interested you will look it up online.

on another not the semester is coming near a halt. i don’t know what i should do but i do know how to get there. as crazy as that sounds. i feel like just curling up in a dark room to see what happens. i have worked hard but what i really want is to work full time with what i have learned. i like working, i do not slack, i press on even though i am there fo a short period of time. i know what i was put on this earth to do. yes i figured it out mom and dad all by myself. there is one thing i am waiting for and i wish you would say it.

i have had to many things blow through my brain today. i wanted to relax and after work my parents wanted me to get them the third toy story, it was sad but really good. made me think a lot more after the movie. started looking for my journal and i found something, i had forgotten about it but not sure how to go at it. i wrote the few ideas down, if they work, they work! if they don’t then i will modify them until they do work. it is time to sleep, hope all had a good day. may you have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

have done all i can. have to wait and see what happens next. what a day, i am super tired and got lots to do tomorrow, i wish i didn’t but i do, last minute things to pick up before heading home. needing to go to sleep because if i don’t i am afraid i will not wake up on time in the morning. hope all had a good day and happy birthday to all my friends who had a birthday today. on that note, good night, sleep well and sweet dreams.

O_o

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

this road i have been following has been good to me but who knew the drive would wear me down. i knew this would be difficult but never this difficult. have taken a lot of beating from it. pain and bruises but an experience like no other. looks like my calendar is scribbled all over. keep adding something just about everyday. i am now up to fifteen days straight of doing something everyday. i’m not complaining because i have been able to complete so much in such a short time bust i wish i would have an easy day every now and then to rest up. today was not  rest day that is for sure. it went well though. it is now time for bed. i hope all had a really good day. good night and sweet and happy dreams.

quidense O_o

i think i have a slight guess of what you may be saying. you did what you did because you had too. maybe you should forgive yourself but that is just me thinking out load. i don’t want what happened to make you want to crumble because of me. i know you well enough to know you are strong and you have proven to me that you are capable of doing extraordinary things, with help or without. i did all i could to make you see that and it showed. maybe i was just a stepping stone for you to see the full potential that you have in you. i do wish the best for you. i can’t dictate what my heart wants but can only decide to do this out of the kindness of my heart. good luck with everything.

in other related news, i received a phone call after work with a few questions that followed. it was one of the applications i put in along with my resume and was asked if it was current, i didn’t realize it was over a year an a half old that i hadn’t updated the thing. maybe now with an updated form of my last year, i can show what i have come to accomplish. i have been exhausted these past two days from only getting several hours of sleep, not the full requirement. i feel so old that instead of me taking a nap today, i actually fell asleep for about four hours. the crazy thing is i am still very tired and i am already ready for bed. it is very early and i do wish all a good night and happy dreams.

really tired O_o

it has been quite some time that i have look into depth of things. i feel we are only configured to see what we choose too, it isn’t until someone else can see what we don’t that we begin to realize what actually is going on around/with us. many people would say i would wear my heart on my sleeve which may come to be true but i just never saw it that way, i always saw myself as hidden or secretive to hide emotions that i wouldn’t want others too see. but i was wrong, i got into a serious conversation with my friend, i have known him for more than five years and would consider him my best friend. he tells it to me straight even though i may not see what he does. i know i have limited people that are true friends, but even though i have many friends they do things that are uncomfortable for me due to my past experiences that i don’t like. i can’t change them because no one should be told how to run their lives. life should be valued and appreciated. i try my hardest to be a good son, friend, etc but i guess i am not. if i can’t put differences aside what good am i as a friend? am i worthless and just a waste of entity?? what have i done to upset anyone lately, please tell me? today was a huge eye opener. i think in order for me to be a way better person somethings that i do may have to change. there are just things i can’t do anymore that i have given up, like for instance; watching tv, two years ago i was presented with an opportunity to not watch tv anymore, many think it was a radical thing to do but it actually worked in favor for me, i got out and became active, not to mention having a dog was a bit more responsibility too. my dog means the world to me, even though i have only had him for two years, he is my best friend. without him i don’t know what i would have done. i am just having epiphanies left and right but this may just be a phase but i want to do what ever it takes to be the best. all what you told me today was the truth, i never knew you had that bottled up inside you, i wish you would have told me sooner, i would have like to know sooner. i am very observent but i am not perfect, i know this, we all have flaws and i told you yours. but that is just what i see, what you do with the information is your choice. thanks.

to being appreciative O_o