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Tag Archives: hope

this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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dear whomever it may concern,

my christmas wasn’t so great. but i am not going to complain, even though i received nothing i am still slightly grateful i was able to spend it with my family. my little brother wasn’t able to come home, now i know what he felt like when i or my older brother was not able to visit. i do understand times are tough, people got to work and stuff has to get done. i know i shouldn’t brag about how great this day is and i won’t because what would have made it complete would be my little brother show up. i was able to spend time with tumbler too, this has been one of the greatest day for tumbler though, he was spoiled with care, food, shelter and playtime. we are now getting ready to go to sleep and he is laying down at feet keeping them warm. i hope all go what they asked santa for. i know i did because i asked for nothing but to spend time with my family and dog. i hope friends received what i sent out to them in time. it is time to say my goodbyes and wake up fo another day closer to a new year. if you didn’t know i love you. i don’t know how to say it any better. i hope all had a great christmas and to all good night and sweet dreams.

thank you,

orlandot

O_o

i was up really early starting my day. i traveled the whole city. i scaled building and felt like a drone, as if something was controlling me from the inside. then the worst part of my day was after eating lunch; my jaw has been feeling tight and today of all days my wisdom tooth erupted even more and it was giving me a splitting headache. the kind of headaches that can bring a person down and make them want to rip their hair out. it was one of those. holidays are near and trying to run around the city trying to get everything i can. i hope all had a good day. had to take some medicine again and it kicking in. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

still feeling under the weather. i woke up last night and got up to get some orajel for my teeth because the novocain had wore off and it had knocked me out. it looked like a chipmunk or as if i had gotten punched in the face. it didn’t hurt it just felt swollen. kind of laid in bed for a little longer then i should have. finally had gotten up and did something. started cleaning but kept sneezing. i think i sneezed over a thousand times today alone. made me some chicken for dinner, i really hope the vitamins help me get better. i can’t even talk right. i hope all had a good day. take care of yourselves folks. time for me to sleep to make what ever i have go away. good night and sweet dreams. thanks folks, i’ll live, i hope. i love y’all.

O_o

i can’t get this application to work, i thought you would make this easy for me microsoft word. but it looks like you chose the hard way, i have looked online and just about anywhere and everywhere for a product key. i will have to try again tomorrow or i will have to go to the library to see if i can borrow a computer from them to type and send my work. today was my last day of school. i wont get my results until tuesday since the professor gave a few people an extra day to take the final who skipped.

i just read your blog, yeah that is what time my alarm usually goes off but i don’t get out of bed right away. yeah i do remember that mental or body-connection we had. lol. i remember it just about everyday and wonder if it still existed and apparently it does and that is some freakyness. lol.

i hope all had a good day. time to get some rest, not really sure what i m going to tomorrow but maybe something productive and maybe i can crack this key code and get some free applications. have a good night and sweet dreams. & to you especially. =)

O_o

 

what an awakening dream, how true can it be? most dreams are brought on by waking life. but i couldn’t distinguish if it was a dream or a premonition; it was very real. i could touch, feel and smell. i didn’t quite understand what was happening i the background but once you know something you can’t un-know it and as far as the other dream. it was awesome, every moment of it. i really hope that one does come true.

O_o

 

today was just another day just like any other, except for the part where our professor dropped the research bomb on us and it is due in twenty days. i have to write a five page paper on my topic on a canyon. in the americas dated way back in time. on top of that i need a cover, map, five pictures and a works cited page. she is expecting us to turn in a book. lol. went to work after class. i was surprised because i woke up really early and got everything i needed without being in a slight rush. i also had a few minutes that i added some quotes i stumbled upon from checking out some books the other day. i have three that i need to get started on but might have to wait since i will have to write my own book. while at work everyone is starting to getting to know me better, they more people are asking me; since i am young, if there are tips to get things done faster on the computer, it is fun talking but it is strange that they don’t know when i try to explain. looks like not just when your young you need help, it apparently ranges from all ages. after work i took a power nap, was rejuvenated enough to begin searching on some of the research. it is a lot of information for on just one topic. i sort of am already trying to figure out what i will say when i present. that part will be fun. i will have a slideshow and other stuff that will blow everyone out the water, i hope. i think i have handled just about enough of my research for one day. got some good information and some not so good. sorting begins soon. i hope all had a better day. good night and sweet dreams.

sueno O_o

i think i have a slight guess of what you may be saying. you did what you did because you had too. maybe you should forgive yourself but that is just me thinking out load. i don’t want what happened to make you want to crumble because of me. i know you well enough to know you are strong and you have proven to me that you are capable of doing extraordinary things, with help or without. i did all i could to make you see that and it showed. maybe i was just a stepping stone for you to see the full potential that you have in you. i do wish the best for you. i can’t dictate what my heart wants but can only decide to do this out of the kindness of my heart. good luck with everything.

in other related news, i received a phone call after work with a few questions that followed. it was one of the applications i put in along with my resume and was asked if it was current, i didn’t realize it was over a year an a half old that i hadn’t updated the thing. maybe now with an updated form of my last year, i can show what i have come to accomplish. i have been exhausted these past two days from only getting several hours of sleep, not the full requirement. i feel so old that instead of me taking a nap today, i actually fell asleep for about four hours. the crazy thing is i am still very tired and i am already ready for bed. it is very early and i do wish all a good night and happy dreams.

really tired O_o

not to many people know the real but what they do know is the unreal. their is trust, hope & power to endure. in a slight way i have been doing some research and/or ‘soul searching’ as most like to call it. i am so near, i can feel it, it is in my grasp all i have to do is grab life by the horns and GO! i began looking back at a few moments in my life and i have to say, well it’s to personal. i made a promise to myself many years ago, i slipped and never was able to get up from that trip. until just recently. i kept kicking myself in the ass everyday; but i never showed that because i had to be strong and not show weakness and thought to myself, why can’t i be here; now!?! maybe it was my conscious telling me something. i picked up on it very fast. but enough of that. i never thought i could smile like i have been for the past few moments. it feels really great. i am grateful and glad for it. i have another day tomorrow, i have to get this completed. it is either that or i will never man up to have a carrer. even though i still am unsure of the choice, but we will see. tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. thank you for caring and putting that smile on my face today, you don’t know how bad i needed this cheer up; it stretches from ear to ear, just in case you didn’t know. in conclusion it is time to get this done!

thanks O_o

today was perplexed, i was confused and forgot a lot of things today. not really sure why though. today wasn’t too shabby, stayed in bed for the morning, and when i got up decided to wash the car, only cleaned it half way the other day and today completely finished it all. it was way to hot to do anything, i stayed inside talking and playing with tumbler. started to do some light research, i am way too confused to make a strong solid decision. they say being indecisive leaves room for flexibility, it is slightly true, when i wasn’t able to go one route i was always able to find another to get to my destination. is that wrong?! i still got where i wanted to be but took longer then expected. but even with a decision like this i am looking at every factor, good and bad, right and wrong. from what i read it says not to make a decision yet because time will come where i will need to make the choice and will be the right one. as far as that tomorrow will be a indecisive day. i know what i have to do and it is a must to get my degree but what will i choose?!?! i am still not too sure yet. we will see. in conclusion let’s see what tomorrow brings, one day at a time. hope you are well, how was you week(end)?

to decision making O_o

“earth, air, fire and water are the four elements of life, each one can stand on it’s own and can also help one another or hurt one another, they are each a different state but all connected as one.” i just had an epiphany while being outside trying to help, i look up and reminded me of what we talked about, it came to mind old friend, buddy, ol’ pal, i can see and do things that may cloud your judgement but the things you say are not meant to knock me down but you don’t see it that way, when you speak you may find truth in the words by the way you perceive it. i on the other hand don’t see it that way, but we all need a little help sometimes looking at things from another point of view. whether what you think is right and wrong for you, is just that, it is for YOU and not me.

if you feel the things you say may hurt me, think again, nothing can bring me down, back then maybe, i used to be a push over, back then, now not so much but every now and then i do see a little of me falling into that state. we have been through and seen a lot. when i see you i can see past all the mess and can see the truth. we are one in the same; like a yin yang; you know my strengths and my weaknesses just i can read yours. things got a little sour during the conversation but we came to an understanding, what you want in life is totally up to you and your destiny to follow, not mine, and vise versa. i look at the big picture in everything and correct me if i am wrong but i think you just see what you want to see.

as i was standing outside trying to help i went into a different state of mind that i haven’t ever been, everything was so clear, like it just went *poof* but when i was interrupted it all went away. whether it is because of something, i can achieve greatness. you just have to let me, as i am about to let you. what ever may come of my new ideals, i don’t really know. i hope for the best for me as i do for all.

in conclusion, i don’t know how this will get to you but i am sending to you. how you take it is up to you. what you do with it is up to you. but as far as for me; here i go!

e.a.f.w.l. O_o

if you are wondering about the title it is pronounced (uhn-dur-dee-mee-cee-a-ted). lol. if you know what i am talking about i will carry on, if not, sorry. it has felt like that for the past couple of days, it has been a tough thing to come out of, the monkey and giraffe have help me out a lot…they tell me beats, poems/lyrics. i recently mentioned the word LIFE and threw it around left and right to people i have spoken too and have just got ten about the same reaction from all. in their head they are probably thinking i am crazy or mildly insane. but know this, i am perfectly sane! what i have come to realize or epiphanize if you will; that i can not fix everything! but favors that are dealt should be repaid, it should’t always have to be about it, it is replaceable. under the right circumstances it can easily be replaced. even though you are not here in my presence i hope you realize now that the world doesn’t all revolve around it. yes it helps, but for needs and not wants. i do hope that you get to understand this, i am telling you with my all, don’t jump because you want to, but jump because you have too. i know it is a huge leap in your life and i am very happy for you, i have never said this out loud but i do miss you. you are my best friend. and I LOVE YOU. just be careful. yeah i want to see you succeed just like everyone else but you better follow with what you said you were going to do. in the end, do what you love and love what you do.

to a new mountain O_o