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this has got to have been one of the saddest days i witnessed. i say sad because we got word this morning that a close relative on my moms side passed away because of aids, we were up in the morning trying to figure out arrangement for my mom to head down south of the border to meet up with the rest of the families. me and my older brother were on the verge of actually driving down there and dropping them off at the border and buy them bus tickets for my mom and my dad to reach the small town. it hurt me to see my mom down and unable to process and think clearly. luckily there was a friend of the family heading down there because of what had happened and were asked if they could take them. they accepted and we rushed our parents into town and they were able to make it safely there. i was able to spend some one on one time with my brother and tumbler. but then after that time was over he had to go back to his home. even though he left a few hours ago i miss the guy, after he left i jumped on the old computer and began finding old playlist i made back when we go the computer; a little more then a decade ago. i am getting tired and have a list of things to do since no one will be here and have to take care of everything while everyone is away. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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i have been so busy that i am addicted to books, paper, pen and writing. i have not been able to use my computer as  through all of this and i remember the days i always had something to do on it. i wonder how it would have been if the computer or internet was never invented. makes you think, huh?! i have gone through a writing pad already with notes and drafts of my reports before i can finally transfer them to the computer and print them out. work was easy but i was in solitary confinement for a good while, i was told to mark boxes. of course i had to make it fun, i would race agains the clock and in the four hours i was alone i was able to label over two-hundred boxes. they were surprised because the person who was doing them got through less then thirty in one hour. not to boast or anything but i could have possibly been working on my reports but i was getting cramps in my arms from lifting, writing, etc. as the day went on i was given an invitation to a boys baby shower; one of the workers wife was pregnant and i was invited without even really knowing the guy. should i go? or shouldn’t i? i just have to see how busy my day will be on thursday. when i got home i grabbed my ipod and threw the shuffle all songs on and i got strait to work, i am still not done now but am getting to tired to write and need a short brain recovery break. with that i am already for bed. i hope all had a good day. good night, sleep well amd sweet dreams.

O_o

had to stop the press. today was a quiet day in a sense that i kept to myself. well not really but every situation and task i was put in i was sent to do alone. in a way it was nice but then at the same time i had no one to converse with. it wasn’t until after lunch. i was able to see my mom for lunch that everything just came as a wave of everyone wanting to talk with me. i have some crazy theories but i am sure they are true about good vibes. i had to stop my doing my homework to check my schedule. i have never done that but i now have my calendar filled up, continuing to be busy, it may even be that i might be heading out of town again for the sixth time. i have been gone every weekend. it is crazy. every time i go something has do done. have to wait until friday to confirm. well today will be a way early night, i am already falling asleep. hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

what a day today has been; it was a productive day with so many things to do. woke up, met with some friends, was fed so much food for a morning brunch and then came back home. met a few more friends to watch the longhorn game, we left at half time because they were losing and decided to catch it at home. began doing work. had to figure out way to manage my time since everything is going to be crucial in these next few weeks. i am excited but i do not want to go through some things. i answered a life questionnaire that i was asked to for the position and it was about thirty pages long. it went deeply into my life, wanted to know just about everything. well by the end of filling out all the paperwork i had about fifty pages; talk about saving a tree. it is early and already falling asleep. you know you are getting old when you do homework and start falling asleep early on a saturday night. well hope all had a good day. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

what a day! today was exhausting and it is only thursday. i have a lot of homework to do this weekend and a lot of reading and notes to take to make up for the day i missed. after class today i was very energized and i got to work and knew it was going to be a long day. i had a few hours to make up. taking a long lunch, everyone has been great, i am glad to work there. i know is is coming to an end soon but something else is getting closer by the days. i am excited and at the same time very anxious. after that more to do and it looks like no breaks anytime soon. tomorrow will be my busiest day ever. so much to do in a short amount of time. am way too tired even after a short nap to go into great detail. but i hope everyone had a good day. i did, i was working for nine hours. if you can imagine being on your feet for that long it is tiring. i wish all to have a good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

how can i put this? been trying to figure out at what angle to go at this. just need a little bit of time to try to figure out what to say.

here it goes O_o

what a day to remember! the whole day has felt kid-like, in a sense that just about everything i did made me feel like a kid again, it was an insane kind of feeling. started early too, i started watching television because it was already on and they were showing the little rascals; an old movie i like to watch when i was younger and could never stop laughing though it. as the day went on i remembered where i was on this day nine years ago, i was just fourteen years old and in my freshman algebra class when all of it went down, i remember everyone in my class being sad and glued to the tv to see what happened, class let out and i headed to my computer class when i found out that the second was hit and then they collapsed. i will never forget today and many other days as well. remembering is good, it shows you how things have were and how they have changed. spent some time with my family and friend, after that was still feeling like a kid that aladdin came on the television; this is another favorite movie of mine. it is sad that today has come and gone, i know it will never be forgotten though. hope everyone had a great day, at this moment i am very tired and done with the kid stuff for now, it is time to be a big person again. lol. have a safe and good night everyone. =)

never forgetting O_o

well today was more a surprise for me to say the least. i was actually up and ready to go to class in the morning. i was actually intrigued about what we were about to go over during this semester. it shall be a learning and reading semester but i actually don’t mind it now. reading is exciting when it will help me out in my humanities class. two of my classes go hand in hand; which is awesome. as the day progressed, water flowed that i never expected, it was refreshing. i didn’t mind it at all, it was needed. the day continued full of organization and preparation for what was to come. i am sure i was blamed for it, i am always at fault, when in fact this time it wasn’t me. but any who enough of that. finally finished up and went onto next thing that needed to be completed. filling out papers. it was just so repetitive, been filling out papers all the time, today wasn’t anything new or special but my life; in a odd way; depends on it. even though it is blazing hot outside today, i had to wear a jacket; i know i am crazy, no need to remind me anymore, but the downstairs classrooms are always freezing in the morning and this time i had the last laugh when everyone was complaining about how cold it was. guess what i did? c’mon guess? oh alright, uhh… [wait for it, pause for dramatic effect] i rolled down my sleeves. hahaha. i was warm and toasty but once i left class, up my sleeves went yet again. i think my humanities class should be very interesting. i actually want to lern this stuff and people said it was blow off class pbbt. i beg to differ, this i think is my most challenging class yet of my years in college. let’s do this thing. hope all had a great day, but for me it is time for me to finish up here and get to bed, got school really early tomorrow. have a great rest of the day folks & i hope your day went well. gracias para todo. ciao.

O_o

not to many people know the real but what they do know is the unreal. their is trust, hope & power to endure. in a slight way i have been doing some research and/or ‘soul searching’ as most like to call it. i am so near, i can feel it, it is in my grasp all i have to do is grab life by the horns and GO! i began looking back at a few moments in my life and i have to say, well it’s to personal. i made a promise to myself many years ago, i slipped and never was able to get up from that trip. until just recently. i kept kicking myself in the ass everyday; but i never showed that because i had to be strong and not show weakness and thought to myself, why can’t i be here; now!?! maybe it was my conscious telling me something. i picked up on it very fast. but enough of that. i never thought i could smile like i have been for the past few moments. it feels really great. i am grateful and glad for it. i have another day tomorrow, i have to get this completed. it is either that or i will never man up to have a carrer. even though i still am unsure of the choice, but we will see. tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. thank you for caring and putting that smile on my face today, you don’t know how bad i needed this cheer up; it stretches from ear to ear, just in case you didn’t know. in conclusion it is time to get this done!

thanks O_o

today was just another crazy day in the life i own, it started off by me looking into a dream diary on a dream i had, seemed good. it felt like a good day or so i thought. i was told that a certain document would rise after today and was in a hurry trying to locate an old document, turned my car and house upside-down looking for it. i took several hours and couldn’t find it that i called my mom and asked her, she rummaged through my stuff at her house and nothing. she told me to go get a new one, got ready as fast as possible and bolted out. well i couldn’t locate the place and in the midst of it, made a accidental call. finally got a hold of my mom to see if i could get help locating where i needed to go. eureka i had found it twenty minutes later. (you already know this but had to let you know i was okay, didn’t want you to think something could be wrong and make you worry or wonder why.) while waiting i finally get called up to the front, they just let me know that i couldn’t get what i was looking for and was sent to the main building downtown. i wanted to avoid traffic at all cost to make time because it was already  getting near the deadline. made it downtown and again took a wild guess where this place was since i used a loop hole to avoid paying internet on my phone because i never really used it, but today of all days; i needed it! parked. ran up inside and there was a two hour wait, you think a fuck my life moment right, wrong it got worse. got my document and rushed home to get the paperwork, etc. and headed to a place to get my documents. it turns out where we were going was through the other door where i had just gotten done getting my old-new-document, again another fuck my life moment, but even then it gets worse. made it there and almost did a tuck and roll, ran up to the back of the line and asked if this was the line to get it, was told yeah! then a lady came out and asked if i was signed in, told her no and she decides to drop the *BOMB* on me and said five o’clock was the cut-off point and i was four minutes late! that was more embarrassing then anything, mind you there were about a fifty people listening. walked away as fast i could and drove home. was having some mixed feelings about it all. then when we got home my aunt and mom and uncle start talking and everything they were saying was making me wonder if it was even worth buying anymore, if he isn’t going to listen then what’s the point! i’m going to try again tomorrow and see how it goes from there. after all that turmoil we get a call by our cousins who we rarely talk too needing my dads help, we go and visit them and after some later inspection and being on the roof, it looks like i will be headed back to work earlier then expected with my dad and we start tomorrow. in conclusion that was my crazy adventure for the day. how was your adventure? or your day go?

to rethinking O_o

“earth, air, fire and water are the four elements of life, each one can stand on it’s own and can also help one another or hurt one another, they are each a different state but all connected as one.” i just had an epiphany while being outside trying to help, i look up and reminded me of what we talked about, it came to mind old friend, buddy, ol’ pal, i can see and do things that may cloud your judgement but the things you say are not meant to knock me down but you don’t see it that way, when you speak you may find truth in the words by the way you perceive it. i on the other hand don’t see it that way, but we all need a little help sometimes looking at things from another point of view. whether what you think is right and wrong for you, is just that, it is for YOU and not me.

if you feel the things you say may hurt me, think again, nothing can bring me down, back then maybe, i used to be a push over, back then, now not so much but every now and then i do see a little of me falling into that state. we have been through and seen a lot. when i see you i can see past all the mess and can see the truth. we are one in the same; like a yin yang; you know my strengths and my weaknesses just i can read yours. things got a little sour during the conversation but we came to an understanding, what you want in life is totally up to you and your destiny to follow, not mine, and vise versa. i look at the big picture in everything and correct me if i am wrong but i think you just see what you want to see.

as i was standing outside trying to help i went into a different state of mind that i haven’t ever been, everything was so clear, like it just went *poof* but when i was interrupted it all went away. whether it is because of something, i can achieve greatness. you just have to let me, as i am about to let you. what ever may come of my new ideals, i don’t really know. i hope for the best for me as i do for all.

in conclusion, i don’t know how this will get to you but i am sending to you. how you take it is up to you. what you do with it is up to you. but as far as for me; here i go!

e.a.f.w.l. O_o

well my parents just arrived, wished my pops a happy birthday, he is now three decades older then me, it is crazy to think he still looks young for his age despite the peper hair, in his line of work i know how hard it is, if anyone thinks there job is hard, i beg to differ, i would put my salary on it. i can guarantee that NO ONE can last a day in his shoes. that is a promise. he is my hero and i have always seen him like that, even when i found my report of the greatest hero ever; i listed him. i know he wants the best for all of us, everyone does. i am breaking my head trying to show my dad i can over come anything but right now i feel like i am going to explode, i stopped myself from having a headache by telling myself i had no time to deal with it and it went away shortly after getting back to my studies. what i thought was going to be easy really isn’t, this is the toughest thing i have ever done, try to manage two classes on my own time. even with all the time in the world i am afraid i am slipping from the good into the bad, i am not trying to sabotage myself because i love to learn, i just need a little time to be able to figure it all out, but the thing is i don’t have the time that i would need. my brain feels fried but i want to keep moving forward and on top of all that my parents just let me know that my uncle is really sick, he is in mexico and they were there visiting him again, when it’s not one thing it’s always another. can or will this family ever get a break. i guess me trying isn’t good enough, i guess i will have to do everything to pull through on this one, i am seriously thinking of just rolling into a ball and letting go. i don’t know what to do anymore. in conclusion do i fight for what is right or just accept what is?

to needing it O_o