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Tag Archives: today

only have a few moment to write this but it has been a very busy day. lot of work. have stayed clear of the internet, had to turn off the wifi to work, i kept wanting to get distracted but by all means i prevailed. i was hit with epiphanies in the face today, literally. stuff is getting really heavy really fast. as if my mountains just blew up and are headed down the hill with an earth slide. you be safe out there, haven’t seen or talk to a few people that i would usually talk too. looks like every one is growing up and getting stuff done. miss you and love you(s). try to stay sane. school and work tomorrow. this is good night, sleep well and sweet dreams.



today has been a wake up call above all other things. all happened during work. what i did was nothing compared to what i have done before, i was able to sit in with a few families and saw how things could possibly take a turn for the worse. i could relate to some of the things going on but some of the other things i couldn’t relate too. i was sort of shocked of what was told to me by strangers i have never met before. everyone beat around the bush and said i looked liked a trustworthy person and that’s why they were able to talk to someone like me. with the confidentiality agreement i had signed i was to report any harmful actions to one self or others. luckily what i was told wasn’t life threatening, it was mostly just a cry to be heard. some of the stories were a little tough to hear but it got me thinking that if i can possibly fix my problems i would be open to help others who are going through some of the little things i was and have been struggling with. i got to talking and listening to one case, wow did i feel bad for the kid, the parent wasn’t making an attempt but the child wanted to better themselves and the parent was just being ignorant that it made the child feel embarrassed to say the least. i did all in my power that i could today and felt like i made a difference in their lives and possibly the parents. as i got home i just wanted to rest but knew i couldn’t. stuff had to get done. as i ended up being done my parents were over and started cooking. i like having family dinners. i really do enjoy them, we are a lively crowd of crazy people, in my thoughts; well maybe as others see us too. lol. who knows?! i am getting to tired to keep writing. stay safe. good night and sweet dreams.


today was another busy sunday. it all started this morning when i was dreaming, the dream was of my recent visit to the zoo, it was a view from the past, what was crazy was the i was looking for a document in one of my folders and the picture i took was there. i looked at the date and it was the same, it was a year ago today. after that the whole day consisted of reminders of everything. when i was woken up by tumbler to go out for his business i bundled up, it was a bit chilly, came back in and since it was early i decided to make a tea, after the tea i was going to watch television when all of a sudden i had passed out and fell asleep again. during this sleep the dreams got sweeter, they were great, all three of them you were incorporated with some how. in a way it was great because since i haven’t seen you and i miss you, every know and then i remember the good time we had, even just the little random spur of the moments. but i think what hurt most was losing you as a friend. as the dreams came to an end i was woken up by tumbler snoring, yeah dogs snore. lol. i got up and made me some tacos and got to writing my report papers for work. started on some notes for class and got through the first chapter, i hope what i thought would be on the next test is relevant to what i wrote down. after a while before i knew my parents wanted to have dinner, me and my aunt ran to the store and got some things for the week. while in the store we passed by the coffee isle and i was struck with the sudden urge to get coffee; another thing you brought to my attention that i never thought of doing myself, as i passed by i could smell all of the coffee but could smell one more then all the others, it had vanilla smell to it and i was in search for it, it had taken me a while but it was behind another pack. it smelt really good and am excited to be trying it. after getting home and sorting everything my parents arrived shortly after and i got ready in a flash and headed out to dinner. i normally used to over indulge but after getting in the habit of eating normal portions i got full faster. it was as if my stomach muscles shrunk. lately i get full faster. i just hope i can continue and keep dieting to see what is next for me. after getting home a little while ago i had to start getting ready for bed, i feel so old going to sleep really early but i guess that is what happens as you get older. i hope all had a good day. hope you are well. good night and sweet dreams.



my schedule was filled with things to do today. class was cancelled today, headed home really quick to grab my file(s), paperwork and backpack to carry them in. took off to work early and when i arrived people were caught off guard and surprised to see me there ready to work early. i thought it would be nothing since i was going to be out to see the doctor. i had many files that i had to finish up before my other coworkers arrived back to the office from a three day conference. i was able to finish all the work before i had to take off. once i finished i began talking with the older coworkers because they got into a discussion about movies and let them know they could see them online. they were surprised such a thing existed. it was funny to see there mind being evolved from old to new. after that i took off to go see the doctor, they numbed the area they were going to work on and hours later i had my filling refilled. i was in a short amount of pain but the difficult part was being told not to eat or drink anything for two hours, the tooth needed to be sealed and would take some time to fully heal and not to mention i was still numb, it just went away a few moments ago and i was finally able to have some grilled chicken fajitas and water because no more sweet stuff for a while because of how sensitive my tooth is. i am in still a bit of discomfort but nothing i can’t handle. i have got another busy schedule tomorrow. i hope all had a way better day. good night and dream happy dreams.

necesidad O_o

I just want to start off with that’s fucked up!!! everyone has always side swiped me with a weightful remark. I am pretty sure every bad thing that has happened to me is because of my size. yes I know I am fat! no need to keep rubbing it in my face. I have always struggled every since I was young, yes I was that husky kid who sometimes was out of breathe because of my asthma. as I look back growing up people used me as a safety net. you know who you are! but it has got to the point where my family and closest friend(s) keep trying to make a joke of it and laugh it off. yeah I laugh but what you are really doing is killing a little part of myself. everyone always goes to the big guy because he can’t hurt you or so you think. I have wrestled and won many of times with people twice my size, I will never forget the time when I didn’t know my own strength and nearly did something that could have hurt my cousin really bad and I broke a tall closet dresser from the force. I have also been used as a body guard, you know who you are, it was fun for a little bit but when you wanted me to get you from one place to another that was just too much, but me thinking you were a friend you got mad when I didn’t want too. how could I have been so naive?! I think today is the last straw. I have been put down one to many times lately. it ends now. everyone has been two-faced to me lately! and i mean almost everyone! how fucked up is it that the people closest to me have been so far away or have pushed themselves farther away. what have i ever done to you?!

a ver que pasa O_o

today when i woke up from a wonderful dream i thought i had heard a noise. i washed my face and headed out the back door at my parents house. i had to go because my brother wanted to see a movie and i tagged along and when it finished i joined him to my parents with nothing but the clothes on me and my handy dandy iphone. after stepping outside i heard a clank. i asked myself; what is that noise?! it turns out it was three kittens. i was only able to get a hold of one while the others scrambled. it was funny because the other two ran one way and the one i caught ran into a box and it looked like he was disappointed from being caught. lol. it got me thinking while i held it in my hands; “wow! i have a small living organism in my hands right now.” for that moment i realized it was safe in my hands then from the world beyond my hands. if need be; i was able to protect a life. it also reminded me of what i used to do with you, i tried to protect you secretively. just so if something were to go wrong i always played out the senario out in my head for everything. i am just paranoid about life sometimes.

“life. it is so precious.”

i was also remembered of this test i took recently for a job to help lives. i was asked a question about my life, i answered as truthfully as i could. i did and i am in. as the day went on the day involved more lives to enter in my view. for the first time in many months we were all together. in a way that brought a smile to my face and the almost feeling of having something in my eye. ever since i was told, i have been more appreciative of all life. now with my current position i am able to help those who just need a little push in the right direction. i show what good can come. i think i found my niche. everyone has their own story to tell and it is interesting to listen. i know there are days where i need to talk but from a philosophical point i just need someone to hear me out and i would take what ever is told to me in consideration. even though i have been shut out from somethings i still have a lot to learn. given the opportunity i will continue to help others. i was asked why that makes me happy this weekend and my response to my brother was i like seeing people happy, if i can make one change and that person carries it on to another then i have just started a chain. if i were to help a hundred people and more then half carried it on that is still okay with me because i would know i made the attempt to help when no one else ever would. he was stunned by my answer; speechless to be exact.

after joining my visiting parents to the store, i saw a bunch of camping gear and now trying to plan a camping trip. it has been over two years now since i have been. it is now that time to reconnect with nature. i hope i can get it before turkey day or before winter is here. it is getting late now and have a busy day tomorrow. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.


what a day today has been; it was a productive day with so many things to do. woke up, met with some friends, was fed so much food for a morning brunch and then came back home. met a few more friends to watch the longhorn game, we left at half time because they were losing and decided to catch it at home. began doing work. had to figure out way to manage my time since everything is going to be crucial in these next few weeks. i am excited but i do not want to go through some things. i answered a life questionnaire that i was asked to for the position and it was about thirty pages long. it went deeply into my life, wanted to know just about everything. well by the end of filling out all the paperwork i had about fifty pages; talk about saving a tree. it is early and already falling asleep. you know you are getting old when you do homework and start falling asleep early on a saturday night. well hope all had a good day. good night and happy dreaming.


today was one of those day, just had to get through it as much as i could. spent the day with my mom running errands to help out my sick uncle. got the stuff he needed and when i got home my humanities book arrived, started reading and i accidentally fell asleep; but the thing is i wasn’t even tired. i woke up and started back up reading and then a little later joined the family for dinner. it looks like an early night to get some rest, tomorrow is a new day and more things to do. let’s see how my dreams go too. be safe out there folks. have a good night.


“you can’t be forced to be compassionate – you must decide to be compassionate.”

water O_o

i think today was a day of resting for me, with the whole week behind me of running around every morning tired me out but at the same time; in a weird way; prepared my sleeping habits with out me realizing it until today. i had been up everyday early in the morning running around and that did not happen today, i slept until one thirty today. it felt nice to rest and be rested for the day for the day to come tomorrow; the first day of class. it is a huge day for a lot of students, good luck to everyone returning back to school and have a safe and early trip to school. that is all folks. big day tomorrow.

learn O_o

it’s been said that there is an opportunity in every situation, but more often than the these opportunities are hidden from us. i have been trying to get to the bottom of the situation at hand, everything comes up. but for now, i am trying to set differences of perspectives aside and simply enjoy the positive aspects while i can.


while sleeping I had a great dream, a lot of what happened in my dream was great but that is another story I will make at a later time; when and if it actually happens. today began my conquest of trying to get everything ready for school. I went really early to see the director of the program for my degree and was the first one in his office. I told him what I wanted to do and he twenty questioned my points and views and i passed! he approved of my internship slot and he went over the trial and tribulations of what needed to be done during the internship. I have my heart set on one place for the sole reason that NO ONE has ever thought of going that route. I just have to hunt down another chairman and director of this location to get the “green light.” I really want to have this under my belt for future references and have been told by many and several past workers they like my work ethics and when I am determined to get something to not stop until I have it. I have been told if I were to ever need anything to not hesitate to ask because they were put in my path for a reason. the reason may never be know but discovered. i do have back up places but since it is a job, I may consider it in the future, I need everything to check out and be on point. I am very nervous and thrilled that I was one of twenty five to get the internship class through that director. I don’t want to be a disappointment but a great candidate for a future consideration of any opportunity that may possibly come my way one day. with everything I do there are a few things that need to be done before the end. I am only on day one! I know this is just the beginning but I have to get this done now. I never thought I would ever say this but it feels like a “now or never” kind of moment. and need all the help I can get.

to [blank] O_o