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Tag Archives: success

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

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been watching a show and realized what this show involved and also made me realize that i have done this kind of work myself without even remembering until now. for some odd reason i have always liked statistics. there are many different algorithms to figure out some statistics and i have constructed some of my own in the past. with this at hand i feel as if i am ready to take school in a whole new different way. in a good way at that. with past classmates we were offered to hand over a copy of our project to the sociology department and would be used for future examples. not sure how many people have seen the work we created but i know something now that i didn’t realize back then. socializing help my work in so many aspects that i know with my future advancements i will follow what i had started and continue with the social experiments and socializing of what is to come, i have seen inspiration before and these ideas are up there with that. i hope to be successful and published one day. it could happen.

best of luck O_o

if you are wondering about the title it is pronounced (uhn-dur-dee-mee-cee-a-ted). lol. if you know what i am talking about i will carry on, if not, sorry. it has felt like that for the past couple of days, it has been a tough thing to come out of, the monkey and giraffe have help me out a lot…they tell me beats, poems/lyrics. i recently mentioned the word LIFE and threw it around left and right to people i have spoken too and have just got ten about the same reaction from all. in their head they are probably thinking i am crazy or mildly insane. but know this, i am perfectly sane! what i have come to realize or epiphanize if you will; that i can not fix everything! but favors that are dealt should be repaid, it should’t always have to be about it, it is replaceable. under the right circumstances it can easily be replaced. even though you are not here in my presence i hope you realize now that the world doesn’t all revolve around it. yes it helps, but for needs and not wants. i do hope that you get to understand this, i am telling you with my all, don’t jump because you want to, but jump because you have too. i know it is a huge leap in your life and i am very happy for you, i have never said this out loud but i do miss you. you are my best friend. and I LOVE YOU. just be careful. yeah i want to see you succeed just like everyone else but you better follow with what you said you were going to do. in the end, do what you love and love what you do.

to a new mountain O_o

today was a success, woke up a little late but got done with what i needed to do! even though it took me forever and a day to finish, i am glad to say that i completed something successfully and passed. feels great, i had to shut out everything though with my earphones, but i got it done and with some time to spare too. with the extra time i had available to me i was able to move a lot of text over from one place to another, deleted my myspace page, continue reading a big book, download some music and catch up on some tv episodes that i had previously missed. i was only able to do that because i wanted to “reward” myself for doing something that would help me out. i am not going to lie, it has always been difficult for me to apply myself at something and let alone be successful at it too. but in a way i am very proud of myself for following through. there are aspects that i lack, i know this, i have figured them out for the most part, i think there are more and that there are hidden aspects i soon to discover about myself  in the future. but this feeling i have right now feels good, in a way a parallel feeling to which i had a times back. i remembered the feeling, feels like a second high without actually being on any kind of substance. in conclusion i think my brain is open up for new material to learn.

to a new milestone O_o

being in the middle is kind of getting old, i am always in the middle of EVERYTHING!!! i am the one everyone calls or text to get something done, kind of like the middle-man, i do not have the answer to everything, the best advice i can give is talk to the source, instead of trying to go through me to get an answer try to get it yourself. i have left myself fall in this helpful mood, but i need some time to myself too, i haven’t done anything exciting for myself in a while, almost a month in a half, not because i can’t but because i am trying to focus on my studies and am getting it done, little by little, but i am trying, i got 100% on one of my quizes today and was very excited i had to go public with it, i am not dumb and stupid like some people choose to believe i am, if i apply myself and break my head to do so, i am positive i can succeed, not to many people can say that in all of my family. i have to do what i must to get this, i want this, well, i need this really. i have come to a point where it is “ME” time! i am not saying go out and let loose but just be in a bubble for a little bit until i complete these studies. i love learning, but i need to do this the right way. the only way to be exact. i am sorry. very deeply sorry, but i can not do this for to much longer. my out is when i am done! in conclusion i am only one person, i have one brain, two hands, two feet, two legs, etc. i too need some help with things sometimes but i am too caught up in others that i hope if i ever need help, anyone can do the same as i do for y’all. but for now just need a little time to get things right. to correct way!

sorrylove you O_o