Skip navigation

Tag Archives: left

has got to have been one of my worst days ever. let’s just say it wasn’t my day and everything went the opposite direction then normal. first off, i slept in from class, i went to work and had a half day which was sprung on me, kind of wanted to work to distract myself from the things to come. after work i realized i was running really low and the next gas station wasn’t until many exits away, finally when i was able to reach the gas station my car began pulling left, once that happens i know i am getting a flat tire. as i got out sure enough it was low. as i was finishing up i had forgotten to do something and had an embarrassing moment i will never be able to live down, i laugh now but at that time was ridiculed by a stranger. after that i had to run to the store and it was crowded like no other. i guess i was just mad and aggravated from the gas station i took it out on some people driving. i just wanted to get home and forget about the day. on the drive home it was the longest drive in the world because of everyone trying to see what happened at an accident that was up ahead. i finally got home about two hours later. once i got home i was finally able to relax. did a few things to take my mind off of things. then it was sleepy time. hope all had a better day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

Advertisements

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

what a right, left, up and down kind of day. woke up and went to class, it was cancelled. i jumped right back into bed and left everything alone and was down for the count. woke back up and make a quick snack and changed and headed out. i know our meeting was strange, i just wasn’t sure on my time and if i would be able to make my mark. i was able to make it through traffic and make it there with a little extra time then expected. was called in and was out of there a while later. began reading a book i had been meaning to read and have gotten halfway through it. by the time i got home it began to pour. moments later got a call, was unpleasant. now i have got to try for my next choice. i am really hoping for this one, i don’t think i will ever be able to win everyone over. was worth a shot (pun intended). while browsing i saw this and feel i should post it.

“the more you nurture a feeling of loving-kindness, the happier and calmer you will be.” -Dalai Lama

i hope all had a great day. to all i wish them a good night and to dream that dream.

always around O_o

today was one of those days for me, a missing in action kind of day. so much to do and so much to see. was up early in the morning running around like a chicken with it’s head chopped off. tried to get everything turned in and tried to talk to everyone i needed too to not be left behind, i still need a few more things. this is the hard part, i feel as if i have to sell myself, but in a way it is for a good cause. well a future cause at that. now i am learning more and being more intrigued into another department but am still following my main goal…for now! like i told my parents at dinner today, i can not focus on just one thing, i want to do everything or at least be informed on lots because not just one subject intrest me. i’ll admit many many moons ago i never wanted to go to class because nothing ever caught my attention until these past few years towards the end of my high school. i have learn to be open about a lot and learned to adapt to what may be going on around my life at the time, but i think right now, this moment of my life i am awake, in a sense that i want to keep learning and never stop. i know with what i am considering may be dangerous but if i could change one thing in a person, i think i can be more helpful to others. and not to mention with my background, i would be able help out others. here is to step number one of many to come. but at the same time i am also afraid of what may happen. i just hope i can get this.

fingers crossed O_o

it has been quite some time that i have look into depth of things. i feel we are only configured to see what we choose too, it isn’t until someone else can see what we don’t that we begin to realize what actually is going on around/with us. many people would say i would wear my heart on my sleeve which may come to be true but i just never saw it that way, i always saw myself as hidden or secretive to hide emotions that i wouldn’t want others too see. but i was wrong, i got into a serious conversation with my friend, i have known him for more than five years and would consider him my best friend. he tells it to me straight even though i may not see what he does. i know i have limited people that are true friends, but even though i have many friends they do things that are uncomfortable for me due to my past experiences that i don’t like. i can’t change them because no one should be told how to run their lives. life should be valued and appreciated. i try my hardest to be a good son, friend, etc but i guess i am not. if i can’t put differences aside what good am i as a friend? am i worthless and just a waste of entity?? what have i done to upset anyone lately, please tell me? today was a huge eye opener. i think in order for me to be a way better person somethings that i do may have to change. there are just things i can’t do anymore that i have given up, like for instance; watching tv, two years ago i was presented with an opportunity to not watch tv anymore, many think it was a radical thing to do but it actually worked in favor for me, i got out and became active, not to mention having a dog was a bit more responsibility too. my dog means the world to me, even though i have only had him for two years, he is my best friend. without him i don’t know what i would have done. i am just having epiphanies left and right but this may just be a phase but i want to do what ever it takes to be the best. all what you told me today was the truth, i never knew you had that bottled up inside you, i wish you would have told me sooner, i would have like to know sooner. i am very observent but i am not perfect, i know this, we all have flaws and i told you yours. but that is just what i see, what you do with the information is your choice. thanks.

to being appreciative O_o

define perspective? perspective is better known as a different position or a way of regarding situations or topics etc or the appearance of things relative to one another as determined by their distance from the viewer. i was asked something today that hasn’t been asked in a while now, i don’t know what the world has in store for me on this. i have and only know what is of today and several days past, my perspective has slightly change but has remained the same too, slight touches here and there but nothing drastic. i don’t know if i should do this, i dont know if i need it, even if it is in front of me i dont know if i should as i have before. no one can teach this language, it is learned by doing. it think. i never got anything right on the test and if i did i was mentioned that i got it correct, but i do not know of the others problems. in conclusion should i accept what is and what is not or do i change that situation and make my version of what is to what i _ _ _ _ _ _ ?! (left it blank to fill in the best possible answer)

to figuring it it out little by little O_o

if you are wondering about the title it is pronounced (uhn-dur-dee-mee-cee-a-ted). lol. if you know what i am talking about i will carry on, if not, sorry. it has felt like that for the past couple of days, it has been a tough thing to come out of, the monkey and giraffe have help me out a lot…they tell me beats, poems/lyrics. i recently mentioned the word LIFE and threw it around left and right to people i have spoken too and have just got ten about the same reaction from all. in their head they are probably thinking i am crazy or mildly insane. but know this, i am perfectly sane! what i have come to realize or epiphanize if you will; that i can not fix everything! but favors that are dealt should be repaid, it should’t always have to be about it, it is replaceable. under the right circumstances it can easily be replaced. even though you are not here in my presence i hope you realize now that the world doesn’t all revolve around it. yes it helps, but for needs and not wants. i do hope that you get to understand this, i am telling you with my all, don’t jump because you want to, but jump because you have too. i know it is a huge leap in your life and i am very happy for you, i have never said this out loud but i do miss you. you are my best friend. and I LOVE YOU. just be careful. yeah i want to see you succeed just like everyone else but you better follow with what you said you were going to do. in the end, do what you love and love what you do.

to a new mountain O_o

being in the middle is kind of getting old, i am always in the middle of EVERYTHING!!! i am the one everyone calls or text to get something done, kind of like the middle-man, i do not have the answer to everything, the best advice i can give is talk to the source, instead of trying to go through me to get an answer try to get it yourself. i have left myself fall in this helpful mood, but i need some time to myself too, i haven’t done anything exciting for myself in a while, almost a month in a half, not because i can’t but because i am trying to focus on my studies and am getting it done, little by little, but i am trying, i got 100% on one of my quizes today and was very excited i had to go public with it, i am not dumb and stupid like some people choose to believe i am, if i apply myself and break my head to do so, i am positive i can succeed, not to many people can say that in all of my family. i have to do what i must to get this, i want this, well, i need this really. i have come to a point where it is “ME” time! i am not saying go out and let loose but just be in a bubble for a little bit until i complete these studies. i love learning, but i need to do this the right way. the only way to be exact. i am sorry. very deeply sorry, but i can not do this for to much longer. my out is when i am done! in conclusion i am only one person, i have one brain, two hands, two feet, two legs, etc. i too need some help with things sometimes but i am too caught up in others that i hope if i ever need help, anyone can do the same as i do for y’all. but for now just need a little time to get things right. to correct way!

sorrylove you O_o

damn I worked so hard but apparently not hard enough to get all my assignments in, most I got I just needed a little bit of more time, like another hour. well that was only week 1 work of homework and we had the test today which for sure I missed 2 questions because I couldn’t remember a simple formula that was (-b/2a) who does that, com’on, really?! & that started off the whole problem to the rest of the answers and did what I remembered. I know it wasn’t enough. can I kick myself in the ass. YES!!! I have always been told, better luck next time, well you know what?! if I can’t this done right the first time, how do you think I am going to get it next time. AND on a side note, I was told this would be a self-paced course which I was excited for, now; not so much. yes i like going to class, I learn better by seeing problems worked out and examples, but when rushing to make your schedule work it stresses out others, not just me. but I guess thats life, if your left behind, tough, try to be found!

rant O_o