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Tag Archives: fail

what a day. woke up to the alarm blowing up in my ear. i would have said good morning but the cable lines were frozen and my internet was down because of it. took my final and went home, started on my reports and felt like some coffee, i was already out of it. i had one scoop which couldn’t make me two cups. rushed to the store and it had failed me, the coffee i wanted was out. i know it is now illegal to text while driving but had to respond back, didn’t want you to think something happened to me. i was okay just driving. i went to my next favorite place to shop. found what i wanted and by the time i knew it i was home faster then anything to try to get home before traffic started up. had my coffee and continued on my report. tumbler was crying and since it was early and i was home i decided to go running early. i pushed my limit. i was going to hurt but need to keep my cardiovascular up to keep my heart healthy. i had a scare the other day, nothing serious but scary. while i was typing away i lost track of my battery life and drained my battery twice today. i am finished with five report out of seven total. two more to go and due friday and i also have one more final to go. i hope all had a good day. i am okay. time for me to sleep. have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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like woah! what a day i have had. woke up tried to make some oatmeal pancakes and coffee really fast. they came out really good and that jump started my day. school cool. after that went home like really fast to take out tumbler and grab my folder with my work documents. drove and when i arrived was greeted with a hello by the door guy. the funny thing is i always tell him to have a great rest of the day when i leave work, i guess he picked up on it. besides writing reports today i was able to sit in more intakes of the kids. i observed and i am hoping that really soon i can do my own intakes and be on my own. (hoping everyday.) as the day went on i was talking with some other workers and they asked me if i was participating in the pot-luck thanksgiving lunch this friday. told them sure. i am having my mom bake the family secret recipe bread for the get-together. as the day went on i stopped by the house to get a quick sandwich for dinner and headed off to school. i had to go to a school concert for one of my classes. it was actually not bad and stayed for the whole thing while also trying to write one of my reports and had an epic fail; my pen ran out of ink after writing three pages and was about to continue on to the fourth when the pen gave out. after that arrived home to heat up some chicken soup and tried not to burn my face off. i was able to write a few reports but am already ready for bed now and going to sleep. i hope all had a good day. good night, sleep well and sweet dreams.

O_o

papers. papers. papers. so much trees being used up today. have stayed away from my computer all day until a few hours ago. today was just handed a boat load of work and on top of that i already have work to do for school. i decided to stay home and head to work early. they had told me to brace myself. i really thought they were joking. i was wrong. when someone sounds sincere they mostly are telling the truth. i was told what ever i didn’t finish to come in tomorrow to finish up. i didn’t want to decline the offer because i think it was a test to see how far i can be pushed, i did let them know even though it was a holiday i still had class to go to in the morning. i will be there after school to finish up. as the day came to an end i knew what was ahead. well not really because i got a feeling to read. read i did. it had been a while since looking at a few things, once you are blocked there is not much you can do but wonder. i tried wishing for certain things but when that failed me i started wishing for things to happen. in a way they were granted. i am very happy they did. i think that now that you are back in my life i can stop worrying about how you are and can ask you instead of imagining the worst. i am taking this leap to reach out in baby steps. i don’t want to ruin or rub the world in the wrong way. when you really left me it felt like the whole world did too. even my best friend stopped talking with me. no one was talking to me and i was going to school with no ambition to continue but i stuck with it because i have paid for classes out of my pocket and need them to graduate. but i can graciously say that today has gotten so much better. i think i just needed someone to spill some stuff too and before i texted you my best friend called me, but recently got in touch with me a few days before i went camping and has slightly refrained from being distant. i have seen too many papers for a day that i am taking a break from writing my reports and going to bed. it is tmie for bed and you have made my day from crappy to way way way better. i do wish i could say something but i wont. thanks. have a great night and very much sweet dreams. missed you so.

O_o

what a spiraling day, it all started last night while dreaming; i was able to some how control the dream and what i did. it was as if my thought had a thought, i know it is hard to explain but it kind of reminded me of inception the movie, where they went into a dream state and in that dream state they had gone into another. i was thinking of what to do and my body would do just as i thought it. it was as if i could control my world. before i could get to controlling my dream i was woken up by my alarm. it was time for me to get up and get ready for school. after getting ready had some time and tried out the new coffee i had bought yesterday. it was really good. took off for school and learned a little bit more on the what was going on before the depression. i was awake, alert, excited to learn and what felt like a good mood. after leaving school to work i was early and decided to take some time and drive. made it to work and after heading inside is when the spiral of events began. everything went from good to bad to good to bad to good. by the time i knew it it was already time to go home. even though everything was spiraling out of control i remembered my dream and how i was controlling the dream, i did just that, i took the time to enjoy the slow traffic, in a sense that i was able to think in peace, without being distracted like usual when i get home. i had a lot to catch up on from school and work. i am taking time to get a really good grade, i am tired of failing. i don’t want to be a failure anymore. even though writing in my strong suit; i have too. i think i will be asking for help because i don’t know how to go about my research paper. i got the information but where do i sart; sort of thing. it is getting hard for me to think even though it is early. i just want to sleep. already ready for bed and going to sleep early. i hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

well even today as crazy as it was couldn’t have gone any other way. i was able to send out some emails to a few takers and just waiting on their response. (keeping fingers crossed) having to go on to other things but in the mean time trying to get every right. in the morning was able to make a few tacos for a quick bite and then hit the books. took a few breaks while studying, well more like a long break, caught a movie and then went back to the books.

“i am responsible. determined. driven. & committed. i am history in the making.”

i was went crazy when the little one showed up. and was able to spend some time with the family all together, clean, organize and get everything done before the week starts. has been a good week and a new one is about to begin soon. 😉 que todos tengan una buena noche y que sueñen el sueño.

el sueño O_o

today felt “wishy washy” i did get everything i needed done. i had a few set backs but nothing major, easily repairable but as far as other things i couldn’t get quite right. after some hard searching and thinking i was able to figure out what i had needed, just had to look back in my notebook. one of my handy dandy notebooks helped as well. i got to printing all the pages i needed for my class tomorrow and with some reading i was able to understand what i needed to do. i hope it is what i ned tomorrow and that i didn’t forget anything. everything has beed a big weight on my shoulders for a long time now that i think it is finally starting to spill over into my everyday life. i am getting tired faster when i should be studying and my body fails and shuts down and reboots it self moments later, it has happened for several days now. i know what i have to do but i just don’t know where to find something good for me, that will help me out later. i have tried all my contacts and everyone seems hesitant to take back what they said when i was told that if i ever needed anything, now there are nowhere to be found. i was looking into my school email when i stumbled across several emails that; because of my progress think i would be a great asset to there fraternity. i declined all four offers, i am no where near as done as i want to be with school. i am fighting every chance i get. and will fight until the end. have a wonderful night folks and sweet dreams.

O_o

some of these latin name that are in my book are going to be difficult to remember for a test. i still have one more book to buy, i hope i can at least find it. when i went on saturday on of the book stores was closed, the computers were down, epic fail. i got school in the morning and wont have time to stop there first and get the book so i have devised a plan to take notes but at the same time record the class with a recording device also known as my phone. with the first attempt i could hear people in the background coughing and shuffling and moving papers. i got to see if sitting closer will help. it should be, well i think i will let you know tomorrow, because i can not make an educated guess at the moment since my brain is not working properly. it is tired and is making me tired and sleepy, with that everyone have a good and safe night folk, especially you, yeah you right there! yeah, you!! lol.

O_o

I know you want me to be successful in life, I am trying my hardest, I hope you can see it. I went to help and we bonded and bonded greatly at that, I learned a lot, I know your trying to help me out best that you can. sometimes it sounds as if your disappointed. I know you gave US everything you possibly could have hoped for. I am not a failure, I just can’t see the challenge up ahead. no one can really. I have been kick and re-kicked way too much. times are changing and I am rising up to the occasion. when have you ever seen me read a book? never until theses past month, I can’t be compared to others, I am still LEARNING. it gets tiresome sometimes. you get tired  physically where I get tired mentally. there total opposites. push me harder then you ever have before because within sometime soon I will be running thing, my hopes and my dreams. I have to take it slow and steady for now, I know jobs are everywhere but the thing is, I am 23 years old and almost a 1/4 of my life has past, the easy stuff has past and now its time to fight and survive out there to get a career where I don’t have to bother with someone else’s doing. I am no longer a puppet for them. it’s DONE. time to learn and move FORWARD.

relaxing O_o