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Tag Archives: past

why must you keep doing this too me? i told you many of time because of what you did to me, i never want to hear from you ever again. it’s unforgivable and i have no room for you in my life. say what you want but what you did trumps anything i could ever do to a person. in other words goodbye.

on a side note, today was very productive. i was running around and driving around everywhere. i got all i needed done. i started working on my project to forget what happened earlier. time to get back to work. catch you later.

O_o

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i first off have to say happy new years everyone, twenty-ten was good to me and i hope twenty-eleven will grant me all the wishes i have ever asked for in the past. i need to thank everyone for inviting me and making the masquerade baller happen. it is early and i am already awake. i was surprised as most people were during the party, i was nervous for the whole day and was in need of some help, with a simple conversation i was finally able to calm down, thank for your help. going to head to breakfast and enjoy the new year. i meant everything i told you. have a great day. =)

O_o

today was another busy sunday. it all started this morning when i was dreaming, the dream was of my recent visit to the zoo, it was a view from the past, what was crazy was the i was looking for a document in one of my folders and the picture i took was there. i looked at the date and it was the same, it was a year ago today. after that the whole day consisted of reminders of everything. when i was woken up by tumbler to go out for his business i bundled up, it was a bit chilly, came back in and since it was early i decided to make a tea, after the tea i was going to watch television when all of a sudden i had passed out and fell asleep again. during this sleep the dreams got sweeter, they were great, all three of them you were incorporated with some how. in a way it was great because since i haven’t seen you and i miss you, every know and then i remember the good time we had, even just the little random spur of the moments. but i think what hurt most was losing you as a friend. as the dreams came to an end i was woken up by tumbler snoring, yeah dogs snore. lol. i got up and made me some tacos and got to writing my report papers for work. started on some notes for class and got through the first chapter, i hope what i thought would be on the next test is relevant to what i wrote down. after a while before i knew my parents wanted to have dinner, me and my aunt ran to the store and got some things for the week. while in the store we passed by the coffee isle and i was struck with the sudden urge to get coffee; another thing you brought to my attention that i never thought of doing myself, as i passed by i could smell all of the coffee but could smell one more then all the others, it had vanilla smell to it and i was in search for it, it had taken me a while but it was behind another pack. it smelt really good and am excited to be trying it. after getting home and sorting everything my parents arrived shortly after and i got ready in a flash and headed out to dinner. i normally used to over indulge but after getting in the habit of eating normal portions i got full faster. it was as if my stomach muscles shrunk. lately i get full faster. i just hope i can continue and keep dieting to see what is next for me. after getting home a little while ago i had to start getting ready for bed, i feel so old going to sleep really early but i guess that is what happens as you get older. i hope all had a good day. hope you are well. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

 

had an amazing dream but was rudely woken up by a cramp in my leg. I woke up in a scream. it lasted for a good five minutes. I went straight back to sleep after it had gone away, it was very strange, it felt like a bad dream but when i got out of bed i couldn’t walk. that has only happened one time before and it is a painful feeling. i got up and after limping around for a while i had to take some medicine to try to loosen up the muscles around my calf. it went away for a bit but knew i would have to keep popping pills all day and didn’t want too so i just walked out the pain, it didn’t work as i thought it would in my head. joined some old school friends from way back in my private school days, we got to talking and even back then it is like it is now. someday i wonder who my friends really are. i am beginning to realize to open my eyes and see what is real. i never had seen it before; i guess because i was naive but wow i am glad i was told. hope all have a good day. good night and dream happy dreams.

thinking O_o

today was a busy day to say the least. i was up in time for school got ready for work at the same time and headed to school. the professor was late. while we waited a classmate who had never acknowledge anyone started talking with me. i was dressed up according to what work wanted me to wear. he wanted to know if i worked for a company because i had my identification card in the shirt pocket and i told him no, i let him know where i work but couldn’t discuss anymore because of the privacy forms i was give to sign about not releasing any information about the clients and also a confidentiality contract. moments later the professor arrived, even after being five minutes late opening the door he takes off to his office and five minutes later he returns. while we; the remaining students, were thinking he would start on the lecture, he went on another ten minute rant about other non-related material. everyone was kind of frustrated or agitated that he took and is taking forever to start on the lecture. after school i had to come home to take out tumbler to do his business, i got my paperwork and other materials i needed for work.

i headed to work. today i was taught how to log into the main system and because the boss was not there; i wasn’t going to get a username and password to the system just yet. i did have many case loads to follow up on and a few files that i had to find and send and refile. as the day was going my coworkers started to open up and i got to know more of how they are. they’re funny at times but when it is time to work they buckle down and get serious about there job. i like that kind of atmosphere. tomorrow is another busy day of files and letters and more papers. i can’t really discuss too much about some of the things i do because of some legal actions that have happend in the past and a confidentiality contract that limits me on what i can say and actually talk about. some people bring their work home with them, i can’t. i am liable and i am watched very closely. i think some of the stories told to me are bizarre but i think they actually happened but are exaggerated a little to seem better for a story teller. like i have heard and read before that “lies are easier to remember then the truth.” i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

been watching a show and realized what this show involved and also made me realize that i have done this kind of work myself without even remembering until now. for some odd reason i have always liked statistics. there are many different algorithms to figure out some statistics and i have constructed some of my own in the past. with this at hand i feel as if i am ready to take school in a whole new different way. in a good way at that. with past classmates we were offered to hand over a copy of our project to the sociology department and would be used for future examples. not sure how many people have seen the work we created but i know something now that i didn’t realize back then. socializing help my work in so many aspects that i know with my future advancements i will follow what i had started and continue with the social experiments and socializing of what is to come, i have seen inspiration before and these ideas are up there with that. i hope to be successful and published one day. it could happen.

best of luck O_o

look here! no matter how many times you call, text, email or even want to talk to me. it will never happen and you will never ever get a response back from me unless it is to tell you that i am putting a restraining order into effect. how could you do what you did and try to apologize for it now. if what you said was your word, why didn’t you stick to it. i knew one day this day would come, karma is a bitch and if it coming back to you ten fold go cry to the guy you cheated & left me for. like i told you before, leave me alone and live your own life. quit trying to interfere with mine. oh and secondly i still stand by i never want to see you, talk to you or ever hear from you ever again. i don’t know how i did not ever see it. you slipped up and got caught. who’s fault is that. not mine for damn sure. if this wasn’t as clear as can be; i dont know what ever will be for you. good bye. and thanks for ruining my afternoon. guess today is unlucky for a reason.

to a much needed venting O_o

10 years ago…

How old were you? 13

Where did you go to school? Spring Branch MS – 8th grade

Where did you work? didn’t, wasn’t old enough too

Where did you live? in Bulverde

Where did you hang out? mall, theaters, school football games

How was your hair? short

Did you wear glasses? yes

Who was your best friend(s)? too many

Who was your crush? a 9th grader

How many tattoos did you have? none

How many piercings did you have? none

What car did you drive? couldn’t

What was your worst fear? clowns

Had you been arrested? nope

Had your heart been broken? wasn’t allowed to date
Now…
How old are you? 23

Where do you work? self employed

Where do you live? San Antonio

Where do you hang out? anywhere my car takes me

Do you wear glasses? rarely but contacts mostly

How is your hair? super short

Who are your best friends? 2 people

Still talk to any of your old friends? on occasion

Who is your current interest? no one

How many tattoos? none

How many piercings do you have? none

What kind of car do you drive?   Shelby my Nissan

What is your biggest fear? life & the world

Have you been arrested since, if so, how many times? still a nope

Has your heart been broken since then? yeah

Held a snake? no

Sang karaoke? yes

Laughed until you started crying? yes, kill myself sometimes

Do you cook? yes

being random O_o

taking a quick water break and blurb break to let you know that I have been super productive, and have completed a lot within these past couple of hours, it feels really good, well to be honest it is a feeling I have never felt before and do not really know how to explain it. but I will take a guess and say it feels like sweet sweet victory of the mini battles, the war has yet to be won. I am fighting everyday with my all. hope everything is okay with you, haven’t heard from you. have a good one.

to achieving new limits O_o

home from helping out with a job. I have tried everything to get back on this. it seems that i take 2 steps forward and a step back. got to learn a little about the past and got to bond, the bonding is getting stronger. it was tough but I survived. no soreness but throbbing-ness after cooling down. it was a slight off day. since tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow will be better…I HOPE.

back O_o

all you had to do was talk to me, I understand a lot more about the situation, we are in the same boat as we have seen. doesn’t mean you have to go through it all yourself. it is time to learn from our past to make a future. i sometimes would like your help and sometimes you need my help. there is always someone you can talk to. i am not here to judge, it is now time to grow up for both of us. i did not mean to portray all those things you thought, again all you have to do is communicate. the signs are all around us even though everyone chooses to avoid them or look ast them. you dodged a bullet this time, you always got to keep in the back of your head next time who knows what may happen. just be smart and careful about what you do. i know you and your family to well to let you mess up. everything is understandable.

stronger bond O_o