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Tag Archives: peace

I have finally returned from a far away place. I never thought I had it in me too see, but now I see the world a lot more clearer. Though you are six feet under, you will live on in our hearts. You were on of my favorites and I can truly and honestly say you were the top ones. I am glad you did not suffer at the very end, though I asked for peace and sounded bad; I know you are at peace.

We’ll miss you.

O_o

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everything was good, i was okay with the family, we were all laughing and what not while eating turkey. once we were done i sat down on the couch, watching my little brother pack his clothes and waiting to say goodbye because he had to work for black friday and he lives far away. while he was almost done we got a phone call, i could hear someone talking on the phone saying okay we will be there right away. i knew it wasn’t anybody from my family because we were all accounted for. it turns out it was a distant family member and they were in town and they were lost. automatically i was thrown in the pool to go get them and take them where ever they needed to go. every year it is te same thing! i want to relax and someone always has to ruin it. call me mean or whatever but i was home to relax. something i have been wanting to do for a very long time but no! i had to do other things then relax. i don’t think i ever can remember a time when we have had no interruptions and been able to celebrate this thankful day in peace. i am not angry just a little annoyed that this always happens. but i am over it and going to sleep. i hope all had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday break. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

it is 5 am and today is the anniversary of the passing of my moms aunt.

rip O_o

this has got to  have been one of the strangest and weirdest weekends i ever had. it all started friday morning. slept in and other stuff was going on around me at the same time and i didn’t even know about. as the day went on something happened that i am not very proud of and has never ever happen to me; my keys; well i rather not say because it is too embarrassing, to say out loud let alone to write down in text. because of a phone call all of my plans had to be rescheduled or mainly modified. i drove.

drove for a bit. arrived and was able to settle in for a few minutes before going to search for my brother. he was celebrating his return back from visiting asia. how cool is that! pretty rad if you ask me. found him and i had that silent tear; you know the single one that is just released from your eye when you  are extremely happy, yeah that one. we and some other friends conversed. meanwhile below the border my parents went to visit my sick uncle and take him to a specialist farther outside of the city and back here i arrived home and got to thinking if there were new plans in the near future. but there is still so much i need to accomplish before some plans can go into effect.

after waking up i wasn’t feeling so well, mold and ragweed were high, but the crazy thing is i have never been allergic until then, the day went on and we went to have a dinner party for a friend who was born half a century ago. i was continuing to feel bad, i cut the night was short and headed home. i was almost asleep when i got a phone call to be a designated driver. i picked up my brother and friend from the road and returned back home to sleep. meanwhile i had received another call from my parents earlier that day that they were safely on there way back; or so i thought.

i was woken up to tumbler (my dog) getting sick and puking on the carpet. of course i had to get up really fast and remove and clean. i did just that. i had a few things to do. well more then a few. when i got to the dishes my mind stopped running a thousand miles an hour. i think the sound of water calms me down or maybe the feeling of water. i have yet to figure out what it is. by this time my parents were already home. i left this afternoon to go home. i was driven and met halfway through. we stayed for a bit and said our goodbyes after a little quality time that was there. on the way home my parents let me know what had happened. this is where it gets weird and strange.

apparently every time we had visited that part of the city we always end up losing and animal dearest to us. my mom had told me that our old dog had a cold for a few days now. even with all the care and medicine it didn’t help. my dad let her run free and she just walked to the back of the shed. normally she was a strong and brilliant dalmatian. she had a lot of what tumbler has know, i think he picked it up from her and some pointers from me as well. my dad said she was in plain sight and then she disappeared. my dad went looking for her when she wouldn’t answer her name being called out. she had walked farther away from from the house and removed herself from sight when she passed away. she passed away of natural causes, she was quite old. but she like our other dogs and pups will never be forgotten. we will miss you brittany, we love you girl. may you rest in peace and go visit our other canine family in doggy heaven. and if that wasn’t enough to bare, the kept going and told me what happened on the return trip.

while on their way back from the doctor and passing all the check points they were stopped by a federal cop truck and pulled off the side of the road. my dad was wondering what he had done wrong. it was broad daylight and he wasn’t drunk or speeding or being reckless in anyway shape or form. the official asked my dad to step out of the car and pop the trunk and hood of the rental car. he inspected the hood quickly and then returned farther away from the car with the trunk still opened. he asked my dad several questions. my dad answered with no problem. it was until the official assumed my dad had money and was lying. on a side note my dad has never done any of that, he is a well respected contractor in the business. he normally doesn’t carry a high amount of money on his person. as the official he told him that he would be going to jail. he brought out handcuffs and asked him what he wanted to do, at this point my dad was thinking that he was never going to see his wife, kids and family ever again. he was thinking the worst possible. as i am hearing this i am furious and thinking to myself, if anything like that ever were to happen i would pull the sort of stunt that you see in movies. i’ll just leave it at that.

he offered his last one hundred dollar bill to the official, mind you the officer had a loaded machine gun. while all this is going on my mom, aunt and uncle are in the car trying to listen and see what is going on. but they can’t since they were far away from the car. no one around for miles. they told him that he was going to jail and whoever was in the car would go about there business. at the same time there are three other men in the truck and also with loaded weapons. my dad highly believe what was going down was, what has been seen on the news lately over the border. with the offering my dad said that was his last hundred dollar bill and it was for the return trip home. the man was furious and said if he wanted them back that he would be sent to jail. the man refused to take the money where the others would see and the official asked him to make it as if they were shaking hands to make the swap. luckily the man let them go. my dad was saying at that moment in time he felt his life was just worth a hundred dollars and that the other guy could care less what happened next.

as they pressed on to reach the border my dad said he felt dead inside. no feeling what so ever. literally as if his life flashed before his eyes. he said no matter what until this drug war and corruption continues he would not return; until it is fixed. by the looks of things doen’t look like it will be stopping anytime soon. as soon as they hit american soil was when he felt alive again. we were on protected and safe soil. with great appreciation of cops and other s who serve, he know saw why we our such a great country.

my mom was saying what would happen if it did actually happen. but instead i swayed her mind from thinking like that and know there is a higher power that can protect with some faith. i didn’t know whether to me sad or angry at what happened but all i know is that i had the biggest epiphanies this weekend due to everything that happened this weekend. there are other missing parts to this story but i am choosing to leave them out. it makes me angry at what they are doing., hurting innocent people for a few extra bucks in their pocket tax free. there is more i would like to say but can’t.

some things will be looked into because of my epiphanies, let’s just see what happens. i am extremely tired and i wish everyone stays safe. have a good night and dream happy dreams.

O_o

today was enlightening, woke up early and headed to yoga with my really good friend. we were reading about it last night and figured out it was free yoga day and as we began looking at some of the classes that were being offered, we stumbled across a class that had a base of hip-hop in it. we were curious about it since we have never seen or heard of anything like this. when we arrived we came to find out the class was full and quickly found another place nearby offering free yoga. we found a yoga class called wood yoga or core yoga. it was very intense, what a way to wake up; i have been trying to concentrate on getting better, it has been a few months that i have actually done yoga but there were some stretches and poses i was able to do that other classmates couldn’t. as the day went on i was able to have some peace and quiet to pick up the books and start studying again. what a way to learn! haven’t had that in a while, this weekend was a good escape, made me realize a lot of things. even with what little i did, it was some time needed off that i had been waiting for. after that i said my goodbyes as if i was never going to see them again, i will return one day! that is something i will keep my word on. on the drive back it had stopped raining and was beginning to clear up a bit but at the same time the weather was perfect. as i arrived home i walked into a quite and peaceful house, it was great. organized my stuff and grabbed a granola bar for a quick snack and began with the books again. this is very helpful and kept me alert about my work as if i were to hit a second gust of energy. had some dinner and went back to the books, i am determined to pass these classes, no matter what. i really need them if i want to get into the program i have been raving about. i am just here writing this now because school start up again tomorrow and tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. i have got to make the most of what i have been given. thank you. be safe out there and have a good night with sweet dreams.

O_o

on the ride home i realized what i have to do. drove in silence the whole way home because i was thinking and forgot about the music playing. while at my parents house i was so far away from the world, like really far away. i stayed up later then usual starting up at the sky, just gazing. i forgot how peaceful and soothing it is with out all the noise and ambient light. i could actually see stars and the milky way. it was amazing. as the day went on the rest of what is left of the family went out for dinner, we went to go eat bbq at rudy’s and remembered you and our time their. =) even though everything smelt SO good, meat wasn’t on my list to eat, all i had was turkey, beans and potato salad with a raspberry tea, was amazing but parents got sort of mad because i became like my older brother and gave up red meat. what their mad at is that they don’t know what to make me to eat if we are over. i used to be a vacuum when it came to food but now-a-days not so much, all i normally have is chicken, turkey or fish. i feel great and look slightly better, with a bit more exercise i can be my fittest i have ever been. no stopping now. i should have been a vegetarian a long time ago. in conclusion here is to continuing on my resolution of the year, i have several months to do what i said i was going to do, and as far as the other stuff, i have kept my promise.

a rising star O_o

been busy all day, for some reason have felt super in myself, like I am figuring myself from the inside out. while I was eating found some beads and some string and thought I would do something beyond my control. it doesn’t mean that I want to change religion, but I do like how buddhist are at peace with oneself and their surrounding (ex. nature, elements, etc.) which is what I have felt like these past couple of days, on a side note it is not that I am being anti-social staying away from the computer as much as possible unless if I really need it for school work. looked somethings up while I was filling out some problems and entering them in my homework section of my online class and stumbled across this;

“oneness of life and light, entrusting in your great compassion, may you shed the foolishness in myself, transforming me into a conduit of love…” – buddhism

what is strange about this is that many people in my life have mentioned to me that I look like and resemble a buddah statue. i took a little bit of spare time and made a mala (buddah prayer beads) it is black onyx which I am finding to be that it resembles and feels powerful. but in conclusion I am just looking into something new. spiritually. emotionally. and physically.

to new discoveries O_o

how hard is it to come up with an understanding agreement? why do you choose to “fight” me?! whether you like it or not, I am here now…time to get your facts straight and STOP making things up in your head and poisoning others with your VENOM. let me figure out what to do? if you have yourself figured out; GOOD. good for you & leave us in PEACE.

O_o