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Tag Archives: want

i was finally able to buckle myself down to the seat and get my reports completed. tomorrow is my last day and must have all my stuff turned in for my classes. if i get a really good grade on my final i will be grateful that my hard work paid off. i know i procrastinated a bit but i think i work well under a deadline. today i only had my daily dose of two cups of coffee and i think the caffeine is wearing out and i am getting sleepy. good luck to all who are in finals this week. i know i will be needing it tomorrow. since i am done i am going to try and get some rest before trying to hibernate with the weeks that follow. i hope all had a good day. i love you folks. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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i have been asked what i want for christmas several times this whole week and my answer keeps to continue to be the same. what i really want can’t be bought. i don’t need anything because i have everything. this year i am not going to want anything. there are a few things i would like but for someone to get me them would probably break the bank, i don’t want that to happen, so i will wait till i can gather enough money to buy them on my own. something as small as a keychain would suffice for me. today was way better then yesterday, my parents had to go out of town again to see my uncle and drop stuff off. it kept me worried for the moment until i received a text saying everything went well and were safely on their way back home. once they did arrive i was happy again. i just stayed in watching weeds with my older brother and had my coffee in the afternoon because i didn’t have it in the morning. i am sleepy for some reason already and it is early. hope all have a safe night. good night and sweet dreams to you.

O_o

 

everything was good, i was okay with the family, we were all laughing and what not while eating turkey. once we were done i sat down on the couch, watching my little brother pack his clothes and waiting to say goodbye because he had to work for black friday and he lives far away. while he was almost done we got a phone call, i could hear someone talking on the phone saying okay we will be there right away. i knew it wasn’t anybody from my family because we were all accounted for. it turns out it was a distant family member and they were in town and they were lost. automatically i was thrown in the pool to go get them and take them where ever they needed to go. every year it is te same thing! i want to relax and someone always has to ruin it. call me mean or whatever but i was home to relax. something i have been wanting to do for a very long time but no! i had to do other things then relax. i don’t think i ever can remember a time when we have had no interruptions and been able to celebrate this thankful day in peace. i am not angry just a little annoyed that this always happens. but i am over it and going to sleep. i hope all had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday break. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

i was able to get a few things done today, not all i wanted but i did wake up sort of late. when my room is cold i tend to hibernate a bit longer then usual. when i knew what time it really was i got up and threw on a pot of coffee to start my day and went to work. and worked i did. papers, reports, time sheets, calculations, cleaning, laundry and what ever else i missed writing. it has been a a rolling kind of day, everything just rolled into place and when one was done and rolled onto the next thing. i think i just about went through every favorite song that i liked, so many brought memories; great ones at that; others kind of got me in the mood to pump my fist in the air silently. i just got to wait for what tomorrow brings. it is time for me to get some rest. i hope all had a good day. be safe. good night, sleep well and sweet dreams to you.

O_o

I just want to start off with that’s fucked up!!! everyone has always side swiped me with a weightful remark. I am pretty sure every bad thing that has happened to me is because of my size. yes I know I am fat! no need to keep rubbing it in my face. I have always struggled every since I was young, yes I was that husky kid who sometimes was out of breathe because of my asthma. as I look back growing up people used me as a safety net. you know who you are! but it has got to the point where my family and closest friend(s) keep trying to make a joke of it and laugh it off. yeah I laugh but what you are really doing is killing a little part of myself. everyone always goes to the big guy because he can’t hurt you or so you think. I have wrestled and won many of times with people twice my size, I will never forget the time when I didn’t know my own strength and nearly did something that could have hurt my cousin really bad and I broke a tall closet dresser from the force. I have also been used as a body guard, you know who you are, it was fun for a little bit but when you wanted me to get you from one place to another that was just too much, but me thinking you were a friend you got mad when I didn’t want too. how could I have been so naive?! I think today is the last straw. I have been put down one to many times lately. it ends now. everyone has been two-faced to me lately! and i mean almost everyone! how fucked up is it that the people closest to me have been so far away or have pushed themselves farther away. what have i ever done to you?!

a ver que pasa O_o

define perspective? perspective is better known as a different position or a way of regarding situations or topics etc or the appearance of things relative to one another as determined by their distance from the viewer. i was asked something today that hasn’t been asked in a while now, i don’t know what the world has in store for me on this. i have and only know what is of today and several days past, my perspective has slightly change but has remained the same too, slight touches here and there but nothing drastic. i don’t know if i should do this, i dont know if i need it, even if it is in front of me i dont know if i should as i have before. no one can teach this language, it is learned by doing. it think. i never got anything right on the test and if i did i was mentioned that i got it correct, but i do not know of the others problems. in conclusion should i accept what is and what is not or do i change that situation and make my version of what is to what i _ _ _ _ _ _ ?! (left it blank to fill in the best possible answer)

to figuring it it out little by little O_o

if you are wondering about the title it is pronounced (uhn-dur-dee-mee-cee-a-ted). lol. if you know what i am talking about i will carry on, if not, sorry. it has felt like that for the past couple of days, it has been a tough thing to come out of, the monkey and giraffe have help me out a lot…they tell me beats, poems/lyrics. i recently mentioned the word LIFE and threw it around left and right to people i have spoken too and have just got ten about the same reaction from all. in their head they are probably thinking i am crazy or mildly insane. but know this, i am perfectly sane! what i have come to realize or epiphanize if you will; that i can not fix everything! but favors that are dealt should be repaid, it should’t always have to be about it, it is replaceable. under the right circumstances it can easily be replaced. even though you are not here in my presence i hope you realize now that the world doesn’t all revolve around it. yes it helps, but for needs and not wants. i do hope that you get to understand this, i am telling you with my all, don’t jump because you want to, but jump because you have too. i know it is a huge leap in your life and i am very happy for you, i have never said this out loud but i do miss you. you are my best friend. and I LOVE YOU. just be careful. yeah i want to see you succeed just like everyone else but you better follow with what you said you were going to do. in the end, do what you love and love what you do.

to a new mountain O_o

have been star gazing just a little while ago and days past, was out side with my family and dog, while we got home from dinner today mark a special day. a day worth of memory lane if you will, had to run out earlier and go get my dad his gift, i hadn’t forgot i had just been really busy, i sort of didn’t know what to get him since he is a hard person to get a gift for, if i were to ask i know his response would be to get him nothing because he has everything, may not be much but to him he has everything. was woken up really early today, like 7am early because of something my subconscious mind remembered to do. would have been nice to do. tonight i saw a shooting star and couldn’t help to remember this’ “can we pretend that air planes are shooting stars, because i could really use a wish right now.” well i made my wish, after seing the shooting star and hope it comes true. i didn’t ask for me to take over the world but just for a life long friendship, that is they would like it, i am always here and am never going anywhere, if in case you ever need to talk, to hang out, never hesitate, i am here and always will be here, i never asked for anything in return and in doing so not sure if i did wrong, but im here and going nowhere fast. this was once was told too me. it hurts me to see you down, keep your chin up and am positive we can pull through, no matter what.

wishing upon a star O_o