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woah, had a super busy day. first i was woken up at three in the morning because it was really cold, grabbed the bigger blanket and went straight to sleep before i knew it i was dreaming. it was pretty amazing, it is the nearly the second time i have had it, from what i have been told the more it repeats it is likely to happen. if it happens i won’t let the moment pass me by. after that i woke up expecting an easy day. it is friday and almost a candy holiday. i was really cold that for the first time in a while i pulled out carol; my favorite fur hoodie, i went to school and finally my professor decides to give us some news; he said it would be good news and then dropped the test bomb on us today, it is on monday, so much for me trying to have a relaxing weekend. he went through the last chapter very quickly and by the time i began to realize i was missing some notes my arm started to cramp up. i think it the cold and when i got hit in my forearm a long time ago but luckily what ever i missed was recorded on my phone. i hope i can hear it. after that i headed into work, i was also expecting something off since it already happened before. sure enough, i was handed about fifty letters or more to write and make a envelope for and mail out. they said what ever i didn’t finish i could come in on saturday and finish or save until monday. i decided to get through them all. i even skipped lunch to try and get as much done as possible. finally brought a grilled chicken sandwich and scarfed it down for a quarter lunch and went back to work. i had to stay after hours with another coworker who was finishing up some other work. finally finished about an hour later then usual. turned in all the letters to the mail room and filled a a small basket. headed home and traffic was still heavy and made my way home. i wanted so bad to sleep but with the little energy i had stayed awake. i changed into something more comfortable and just laid on the couch. went to the store and got me a grilled turkey sub, i jammed it up with all the vegetables and more with some mustard and a jug of water. i was so full, the water did most of the trick. i think i need a break from everything. i am going to take that camping trip next week. jut for a day or two. going to see if i can retrieve my tent back and off i go. it is settled. i am already for bed and it is early, i am feeling like an old timer. stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.



my schedule was filled with things to do today. class was cancelled today, headed home really quick to grab my file(s), paperwork and backpack to carry them in. took off to work early and when i arrived people were caught off guard and surprised to see me there ready to work early. i thought it would be nothing since i was going to be out to see the doctor. i had many files that i had to finish up before my other coworkers arrived back to the office from a three day conference. i was able to finish all the work before i had to take off. once i finished i began talking with the older coworkers because they got into a discussion about movies and let them know they could see them online. they were surprised such a thing existed. it was funny to see there mind being evolved from old to new. after that i took off to go see the doctor, they numbed the area they were going to work on and hours later i had my filling refilled. i was in a short amount of pain but the difficult part was being told not to eat or drink anything for two hours, the tooth needed to be sealed and would take some time to fully heal and not to mention i was still numb, it just went away a few moments ago and i was finally able to have some grilled chicken fajitas and water because no more sweet stuff for a while because of how sensitive my tooth is. i am in still a bit of discomfort but nothing i can’t handle. i have got another busy schedule tomorrow. i hope all had a way better day. good night and dream happy dreams.

necesidad O_o

today was a busy day to say the least. i was up in time for school got ready for work at the same time and headed to school. the professor was late. while we waited a classmate who had never acknowledge anyone started talking with me. i was dressed up according to what work wanted me to wear. he wanted to know if i worked for a company because i had my identification card in the shirt pocket and i told him no, i let him know where i work but couldn’t discuss anymore because of the privacy forms i was give to sign about not releasing any information about the clients and also a confidentiality contract. moments later the professor arrived, even after being five minutes late opening the door he takes off to his office and five minutes later he returns. while we; the remaining students, were thinking he would start on the lecture, he went on another ten minute rant about other non-related material. everyone was kind of frustrated or agitated that he took and is taking forever to start on the lecture. after school i had to come home to take out tumbler to do his business, i got my paperwork and other materials i needed for work.

i headed to work. today i was taught how to log into the main system and because the boss was not there; i wasn’t going to get a username and password to the system just yet. i did have many case loads to follow up on and a few files that i had to find and send and refile. as the day was going my coworkers started to open up and i got to know more of how they are. they’re funny at times but when it is time to work they buckle down and get serious about there job. i like that kind of atmosphere. tomorrow is another busy day of files and letters and more papers. i can’t really discuss too much about some of the things i do because of some legal actions that have happend in the past and a confidentiality contract that limits me on what i can say and actually talk about. some people bring their work home with them, i can’t. i am liable and i am watched very closely. i think some of the stories told to me are bizarre but i think they actually happened but are exaggerated a little to seem better for a story teller. like i have heard and read before that “lies are easier to remember then the truth.” i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.


I just want to start off with that’s fucked up!!! everyone has always side swiped me with a weightful remark. I am pretty sure every bad thing that has happened to me is because of my size. yes I know I am fat! no need to keep rubbing it in my face. I have always struggled every since I was young, yes I was that husky kid who sometimes was out of breathe because of my asthma. as I look back growing up people used me as a safety net. you know who you are! but it has got to the point where my family and closest friend(s) keep trying to make a joke of it and laugh it off. yeah I laugh but what you are really doing is killing a little part of myself. everyone always goes to the big guy because he can’t hurt you or so you think. I have wrestled and won many of times with people twice my size, I will never forget the time when I didn’t know my own strength and nearly did something that could have hurt my cousin really bad and I broke a tall closet dresser from the force. I have also been used as a body guard, you know who you are, it was fun for a little bit but when you wanted me to get you from one place to another that was just too much, but me thinking you were a friend you got mad when I didn’t want too. how could I have been so naive?! I think today is the last straw. I have been put down one to many times lately. it ends now. everyone has been two-faced to me lately! and i mean almost everyone! how fucked up is it that the people closest to me have been so far away or have pushed themselves farther away. what have i ever done to you?!

a ver que pasa O_o

i think i have a slight guess of what you may be saying. you did what you did because you had too. maybe you should forgive yourself but that is just me thinking out load. i don’t want what happened to make you want to crumble because of me. i know you well enough to know you are strong and you have proven to me that you are capable of doing extraordinary things, with help or without. i did all i could to make you see that and it showed. maybe i was just a stepping stone for you to see the full potential that you have in you. i do wish the best for you. i can’t dictate what my heart wants but can only decide to do this out of the kindness of my heart. good luck with everything.

in other related news, i received a phone call after work with a few questions that followed. it was one of the applications i put in along with my resume and was asked if it was current, i didn’t realize it was over a year an a half old that i hadn’t updated the thing. maybe now with an updated form of my last year, i can show what i have come to accomplish. i have been exhausted these past two days from only getting several hours of sleep, not the full requirement. i feel so old that instead of me taking a nap today, i actually fell asleep for about four hours. the crazy thing is i am still very tired and i am already ready for bed. it is very early and i do wish all a good night and happy dreams.

really tired O_o

how can i put this? been trying to figure out at what angle to go at this. just need a little bit of time to try to figure out what to say.

here it goes O_o

have felt like a ghost all day today, even after school. as if i wasn’t even around. people passed by me and nothing. what can one do?!

“be the change you want to see in the world”

i saw this today and it has me thinking. thinking of things i could never see myself doing, until now! i have been able to accomplish a good amount of goals in my life. but while thinking i wrote down a small time capsule like note to myself, hope it is a good thing. i also came across another saying in a book.

“no man can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true” — Hawthorne

kind of reminds me of something i saw on a television show several months ago. it did work for the character; but then again it was just good television. let’s see if i can accomplish this. small baby steps for now. see you soon. have a good night…friends. & family.

tuyyo O_o

while on my second run i began think, am i doing the right thing? even though this internship is easy i am feeling it is wrong all at the same time. yes it is an internship but on the other hand it has nothing to do with my profession. i thought it to be at first. but now i’m not so sure. i been told not to waste time because it will be difficult to catch up. as true as it may be that and among other things have been racing through one half of my brain and as far as the other half it is on this huge quiz i have been dreading. even if i could stop time i think it is way too much information for a quiz but i was able to attend a online study session that helped some. i do hope i don’t forget any small details that i really need to know. as far as today did what and maybe more then i needed too but can’t worry about that too much, need all my focus on school for the next ten hours. i hope all had a great day, it is time for me to sign off and sleep. have a wonderful night and sweet dreams.

con mucho carino O_o

sleep. think. eat. think. homework. think. eat. think. read. sleep.

thinking O_o

today was enlightening, woke up early and headed to yoga with my really good friend. we were reading about it last night and figured out it was free yoga day and as we began looking at some of the classes that were being offered, we stumbled across a class that had a base of hip-hop in it. we were curious about it since we have never seen or heard of anything like this. when we arrived we came to find out the class was full and quickly found another place nearby offering free yoga. we found a yoga class called wood yoga or core yoga. it was very intense, what a way to wake up; i have been trying to concentrate on getting better, it has been a few months that i have actually done yoga but there were some stretches and poses i was able to do that other classmates couldn’t. as the day went on i was able to have some peace and quiet to pick up the books and start studying again. what a way to learn! haven’t had that in a while, this weekend was a good escape, made me realize a lot of things. even with what little i did, it was some time needed off that i had been waiting for. after that i said my goodbyes as if i was never going to see them again, i will return one day! that is something i will keep my word on. on the drive back it had stopped raining and was beginning to clear up a bit but at the same time the weather was perfect. as i arrived home i walked into a quite and peaceful house, it was great. organized my stuff and grabbed a granola bar for a quick snack and began with the books again. this is very helpful and kept me alert about my work as if i were to hit a second gust of energy. had some dinner and went back to the books, i am determined to pass these classes, no matter what. i really need them if i want to get into the program i have been raving about. i am just here writing this now because school start up again tomorrow and tomorrow is a new day with new challenges. i have got to make the most of what i have been given. thank you. be safe out there and have a good night with sweet dreams.


i do want to first start off by thanking EVERYONE. you guys made my day better and better with that kind of feedback. i was even posted on a site! that is some exciting news. my music career is going no where fast but have been greatly inspired by the emails that my next one will be worked on a bit more delicately. before i release it to the world i will have a few commentators to see what they like or dislike about my set presented. that was that. as  far as today went, it went and went, was in class and i had my undivided attention all up on the lecture. what was even better was when the professor looked at me and threw a quick question at me, slightly caught me off guard but was dumbfounded when i replied the answer and question that made her head spin. it was like i was king of the mountain; a small ego boost if you will. and of course went back to taking my detailed notes and even on top of that, the stuff i printed out was over done the other day but it had all the notes i needed for todays class and i knew exactly what she was talking about when she would point and ask a random person to answer. day went on, had my snack, lunch, homework and also got to my workout, tanning in the sun and laundry for the day. got to be at class early and have everything ready for a busy day tomorrow; possibly going under the knife; but i have to see what the doctor orders. i want these snitches out, they are bugging me and giving me headaches. they may be just for a minute or two but they’re there and slowly making there way in an i want them out now. dont care if they put me under or local anesthesia but i want them out. hope all had a great day and or birthday and may all be safe and have a wonderful night. i am out!


started off my day really early; like six o’clock early. took the dog out and stayed outside watching the people zooming by to get to work or school. the neighborhood was filled with cars and buses, i also stayed outside watching the sun rise, hadn’t done that since i have stopped working overnight. went inside and began getting ready for school, just threw something together really fast, ironed the clothes and began making breakfast, had wheat organic toast with blackberry spread. when i finished with that i was in search for socks for twenty minutes, not sure what had happened to them because i had done my laundry over the weekend. i finally had found them and threw my shoes on really fast and headed out the door, classes are getting more and more interesting everyday. it is awesome! day went on reading, writing, thinking, naping, snacking and eating. turned out to be an okay day. got school tomorrow that i am excited to goto, weird; i know! lol. my friend came over to drop off a show that i had been asked to see. started it and i hope this can help me see how gangs interaction works to make a lesson out of it; even for possibly a publication or dissertation. thanks everyone who gave me back feedback for my mixxx i released. love you folks. have a great night and sweet dreams.