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Tag Archives: tear

I have finally returned from a far away place. I never thought I had it in me too see, but now I see the world a lot more clearer. Though you are six feet under, you will live on in our hearts. You were on of my favorites and I can truly and honestly say you were the top ones. I am glad you did not suffer at the very end, though I asked for peace and sounded bad; I know you are at peace.

We’ll miss you.

O_o

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i think i finally figured it out! i know what was said and i do believe it did have something to do with me. iam sure i did do something that i just realized from looking back these past few week(s). how stupid could i have been to do what i did and dian’t even realize i was subconsciously doing it. i know you were apologizing but to be honest i feel that i know now, i should be the one apologizing to you. everything i have written and told you was the truth. but again i hate myself now more then ever for doing what i did. if you are reading this it is because i think i was trying to show my parents that you were the right person for me. as we went on i kept getting scared to tell you how i truly felt about you, because of what you told me the first couple of weeks of being together. i thought i would wait for just the right and perfect moment to tell you. like i said i was super scared and i took a leap and you have been the only one to accept me for who i really am and my flaws (i hope.) and you have been the only one who has made me feel things i never knew existed and felt as if i was flying. the only thing i can say is i am very sorry. i didn’t understand then and it feels like i am understanding little by little now. i do hope that you can accept my apology and as you may know i have been very considerate of your feelings, i have tried to stay away from my computer to not post something that could ruin a friendship that i want to have with you. i still do care very much about you, just know i may not show it but i feel it. just in case you were wondering i got the internship, it is not at the place where i really wanted but they accepted me, i have been doing okay, nothing special besides the internship but just trying to get better. i hope you can understand. thanks for taking the time to read this; if you do.

sorry O_o

just got up from a much needed nap, lasted an hour or two, these past couple of days have been crazy, filled with some strange information. most of the week all my thoughts have gone towards a family situation. why is it that i care too much?! i know the situation at hand is out of my control but i pray and wish the best for my uncle and my family. i have nothing to offer, i can’t go visit because i have no passport. it is now time to get it, i don’t want to feel bad if something bad were to happen and i couldn’t visit. my uncle, even before his current state was a good uncle, he has done a lot for us brothers, well mainly me because i was the only one to care. i don’t know what will happen but you are in my prayers unk. as much as it pains me to say i get that frog in the throat feeling every time i think about it. my parents left again this morning to go visit and i had to go runĀ errands, i couldn’t complain this time because they absolutely had to be taken care of today. i just hope that he can fight with his all to get better. by the end of it all i can think is i really hope he gets well soon.

get well soon O_o

was at a funeral today and of course was late for it because I had to take a math test and after that head there asap. we were there for a bit and even though I was wearing sunglasses I could see my dad and saw the tears in his eyes and couldn’t help but to feel my eyes water because I can’t bare to see my dad or mom hurt. my older brother called and needed my help and booked it to Austin, since what he needed hadn’t arrived and decided to head out and try out the new light rail installed by the house and took a quick gander. we were lost-ish and decided to head back home and walked around downtown to find something to eat. we took a quick trip to walmart and grabbed some snacks and arrived back home to relax.

to trying to relax O_o

spending the second day continuing to help out as much as possible, listening to country music; everyone always says “everything happens for a reason.” it couldn’t not be loud and clear today. figuring out what I want was even more clearer!! a job is anytime between 7 days a week with an hourly wage and a career is a 5 days a week (Monday – Friday) with salary pay. I know am getting closer to what I WANT. many country songs I heard today seemed to apply to me in every which way. SCARY!!! but it was a meant to be kind of thing. on the flip side I encountered a few slightly REAL SCARY moments, like heat exhaustion, almost nailing my foot with the nail gun & alost falling off the roof. My dad has done this for 30+ years and me just for a few days, but that is not my career, I think I am meant to help my dad/others but in a better way that uses my educational standings.

to a better path O_o