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what a day, i was totally surprised by my dream before waking up, it was good but not really sure what it meant or what was the message the other person was trying to tell me. party silently. as i awoke i was awake before the alarm had gone off, i got up and started getting ready for work, it was still early and made some pancakes and coffee, while i waited i tried getting ready, was a slow process. i finally was done cooking and got to eating, finished changing and headed out the door to the car. started up the car and drove, arrived to work and met up with all my co-workers for a slight meeting, got some useful information. got in my group and got to work, had to get after a kid for acting up today. wasn’t fun getting after them but had to be done, they were very disrespectful and if most people know me that does not fly with me. i give respect to have it returned back to me. finished there and headed home, i was suppose to do homework but took a nap instead and after a few minutes i was energized and my family arrived. decided to have a little fun with them and talk. we went on for a few hours and began making bar-b-q outside and the neighbors joined us; they are related but distantly. after being stuffed on chicken i went inside to grab tumbler and ran after something he thought he saw and broke his collar. had to make a quick run to the store and buy a new one. today was productive but more social. i tried writting and have finished up two more reports, still have three left and and to tired to write. hope all had a good day. good night, be safe, sleep well and sweet dreams.

O_o

how I have missed you so, I am way glad that I can have this from you,

bask in your glow, its been a little while but how these days have gone by

super slow and wish to accompany you to make time well spent, i have missed you.

i heartz you O_o

[this is how you would not start a paper, but this is how I was taught to try to put emphasis on something, enjoy.]

Define: EPIPHANY? according to to dictionaries epiphany is defined as a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. it also is usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight. well; while spending time with the family seemed like the right thing to today, there was a conversation about close relatives and the tone of voice that was used was very strong and powerful, when it hits me like a red school-like building crumbling on top of me that my family was throwing subconscious puns at me even though I was not involved in the situation.

when I visited my family several days ago they continued the ridicule and mocking that I never liked before, it felt as if my dignity was being stripped from me and being shown to everyone who I really was not and they assumed since I am “blood family” that I was becoming like them, in any way possible. I choose and was taught a better life to not be like “them,” I DO NOT want the things they have … yet! I need to continue doing what I need to do to get ahead. it is very hard work and will continue every single waking day of my life and from that am determined to succeed NO MATTER WHAT!!!

well with that floating in a mushy, grey, jello like substance above the eyes I came to the realization that I think I understand what happened several days ago. this was like seeing what I should have seen, everything became clearer and window clearer; I could be wrong but let me know otherwise. I think you think I am independent and on my feet and am the person I am today because was shown to be this way, I am like half-and-half milk, I know much but not everything, I would like too but if I am not shown I can not learn. people quote to “follow your heart and your mind will follow” well why can’t it be the other way around?

because scientifically speaking the heart is an organ that helps pump blood through the body where the mind; as beautiful as can be, is a state of mind where information is stored and saved away for a “rainy day,” In a dream, I continue to see smiles, laughs, and meets eye to eye with me. I awake knowing that it was a dream and if it could be like other dreams that have been events of premonitions and become a deja vu feeling that would be the most uplifting and grateful thing. I know you want to reach that “state,” everyone wants too; yes, even me! I know it was the hardest thing you had to do, but if you say it needed to happen for you to reach that “state,” let it be.

I am taking a wild guess and think you think that you may miss out on what eles is out there if this were to settle. I realized after hearing my folks everyone needs to stop telling me how to run my life and for me to take initiative and do what I think is the right thing to do. I think we are in the same part of the boat, but I just reached the same part with your help. you probably will not take credit for when I tell you, you have taught me from your doing. yes it is a hard thing to accept, I think I understand a little bit more of what you are thinking. how I never saw it that way is puzzling to me. I would like to know what you might be afraid to tell me.

the days feel like they are all the same and not being days but mini portions of events that are making things worse in my head. I just have to get some courage and I could find out what I need to, maybe a lot more, which I do hope for. that is not my decision to make.

to liking to know O_o