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Tag Archives: sorry

i think i finally figured it out! i know what was said and i do believe it did have something to do with me. iam sure i did do something that i just realized from looking back these past few week(s). how stupid could i have been to do what i did and dian’t even realize i was subconsciously doing it. i know you were apologizing but to be honest i feel that i know now, i should be the one apologizing to you. everything i have written and told you was the truth. but again i hate myself now more then ever for doing what i did. if you are reading this it is because i think i was trying to show my parents that you were the right person for me. as we went on i kept getting scared to tell you how i truly felt about you, because of what you told me the first couple of weeks of being together. i thought i would wait for just the right and perfect moment to tell you. like i said i was super scared and i took a leap and you have been the only one to accept me for who i really am and my flaws (i hope.) and you have been the only one who has made me feel things i never knew existed and felt as if i was flying. the only thing i can say is i am very sorry. i didn’t understand then and it feels like i am understanding little by little now. i do hope that you can accept my apology and as you may know i have been very considerate of your feelings, i have tried to stay away from my computer to not post something that could ruin a friendship that i want to have with you. i still do care very much about you, just know i may not show it but i feel it. just in case you were wondering i got the internship, it is not at the place where i really wanted but they accepted me, i have been doing okay, nothing special besides the internship but just trying to get better. i hope you can understand. thanks for taking the time to read this; if you do.

sorry O_o

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‘be the change you want to see in the world’ – Live Strong

i saw this today and could be something to live by. today was a good day, besides the thunderstorm from last night that i slept through and woke up once because of tumbler getting scared and startled me and was later waken up by my alarm, went for a run in the rain and felt energized when i finished; it was as if i was shocked with lightning. got ready for school and took off early, even though i was early the teacher was late, me and the class all had to wait for the professor. he was late and because of that had a short class, after school was over i had to run a few errands before being able to go home and start on my homework. i was called in for a first interview and it was quick, pick up some paper work to fill out and bring back for second interview tomorrow, i don’t want to say where it will be because i am afraid to jinx myself, has happend to me several times already; don’t want to risk it. went back home to pick up a list of groceries and money to buy to make for lunch and dinner. after dinner began filling out the paperwork needed for tomorrow. realized i didn’t know what to wear and found some quick casual clothes and began ironing them, just finished and now heading for bed, just wanted to keep everyone posted. even though the people i have let down i am slowly making it up to them. sorry. i am getting a little more nervous but hopefully with this pain killer i will be knocked out for a few hours. let’s see what’s in store for me tomorrow.

slightly nervous O_o

today was suppose to be a day of working, what it turned out to be was a downer or bummer. my morning wasn’t so great, woke up at six thirty because of the pain killers wearing off; my foot was in a slight bit more of pain. my mom couldn’t see me suffer anymore and she decided we would head down to see the chiropractor but he wasn’t available due to family issues. then we went to see if my cousin knew anybody and had no luck there. as the day went on i rested on the couch, i knew what would be coming tomorrow and needed all the rest i could take. the pain i am in i can control, one wrong move and i pull the muscle and hurt myself, my parents are afraid if i don’t get this fixed now that it could come back later when i am older and haunt me and might possibly be worse. as if that wasn’t enough; i got an email reminder to pay my classes. if i didn’t i would lose them. well because i got a non passing grade during summer the school decided to deny my chance at getting aid. my tuition jumped to a whopping eight hundred dollars minus books. i had to drop out of a class in order to make a slight payment to even keep my classes. i am very bummed about that, but this isn’t getting me down that easily. i am a fighter and have always been. i want to rant out but what would be the point, it is my fault i could have gotten a better grade, formulas and steps are more difficult to follow sometimes for me. if i made this mistake it is time for me to take responsibility for my actions and put blame on me instead of the world. i do put myself down sometimes but i have to in order for me to learn not to do it again. i believe in myself as well as other see expectations in me too. i glad some people do believe. now it is my turn to appreciate everybody for that and show them there encouragement meant the world to me. i am very sorry if i have let anyone down, my time is now! i am seeing to much i don’t want to see. that is enough of my day, how was yours?

being responsible O_o

being in the middle is kind of getting old, i am always in the middle of EVERYTHING!!! i am the one everyone calls or text to get something done, kind of like the middle-man, i do not have the answer to everything, the best advice i can give is talk to the source, instead of trying to go through me to get an answer try to get it yourself. i have left myself fall in this helpful mood, but i need some time to myself too, i haven’t done anything exciting for myself in a while, almost a month in a half, not because i can’t but because i am trying to focus on my studies and am getting it done, little by little, but i am trying, i got 100% on one of my quizes today and was very excited i had to go public with it, i am not dumb and stupid like some people choose to believe i am, if i apply myself and break my head to do so, i am positive i can succeed, not to many people can say that in all of my family. i have to do what i must to get this, i want this, well, i need this really. i have come to a point where it is “ME” time! i am not saying go out and let loose but just be in a bubble for a little bit until i complete these studies. i love learning, but i need to do this the right way. the only way to be exact. i am sorry. very deeply sorry, but i can not do this for to much longer. my out is when i am done! in conclusion i am only one person, i have one brain, two hands, two feet, two legs, etc. i too need some help with things sometimes but i am too caught up in others that i hope if i ever need help, anyone can do the same as i do for y’all. but for now just need a little time to get things right. to correct way!

sorrylove you O_o

I am sorry I am like your other grand kids.

I am sorry for not liking to visit.

I am sorry I show respect.

I am sorry for thing(s).

we turned out okay, we can not drop everything to see you when you do things unexpectedly, our family has good things because we bust our ass to get them. we are not in that game nor will we be to get ahead like some of them think, we can not visit because of situations going on around the area where we would visit you. you/everyone can pass all the judgement they want, your attempt to guilt us in what we can’t do is not a good thing and separates us farther away. it is not the we don’t want to, but we do not like to be involved with family gatherings because of what is hidden by others. yes we can pass a good time, but things are awkward between the family because we know too much. we do not have a perfect family, because NO one has one. everyone else I know likes their G but why can’t you make the effort to accept what you think about us. if I was given the chance to meet my other G but god bless her soul she was taken away before I was even thought of coming to be & I would have like too. I am not saying 12 of the 13 are screw ups but they do things that our family sees as disrespect and should be frowned upon. I am sorry for you loss, I know we couldn’t do more, I never got around to getting a passport like I was asked to because I did not live here & I didn’t want to show up and shed fake caring water when we both know I or my blood(s) felt the same way. sorry for that. we have grown into respectable men that our family has shown us to be and seems like you frown upon us. I know you can not forget about because we are family but respect needs to be given to get earned. take it as you may, we will never stop being judge.

sorry O_o

please tell me what is WRONG, i can HEAR you but your not saying much, i just can FEEL something is wrong. other people have heard YOU too. its not a GOOD thing. tell me something but don’t SHOW me.

O_o

i’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you at a time of need. I know i could have done more it just you were to far out of reach to me to reach you. i know i let you down, i know one day you will forgive me, that time may not be now or tomorrow but I hope you can ask me for something and I won’t let you down.

O_o

after seeing a movie with my girlfriend last night; it was very inspiring and would dislike very much to feel the way the character felt, I have come to the conclusion that I would not like YOU to be mad or angry with ME anymore, I am trying my hardest. I know you don’t see it but I keep kicking myself in the ass everyday trying to figure ME out, I am very close and I CAN FEEL IT. I just need a little bit of more time. I would like to hear that you are proud of me…ONE DAY.

O_o