Skip navigation

Tag Archives: scared

made the decision yesterday that I really needed to get my eyes checked out and start worrying about my well being. I made a few calls this morning and started doing some research on other things I need to do, will be going under on June 15 for some test, I know I will need some work done, have dreaded this and have left it alone for quite a few years, It Is Time! first thing is first, getting my eyes checked, have been running around all of town with my little brother driving me around checking who has the best price for a contact exam, because it turns out it is cheaper and more reliable for me to get contacts and later on get a pair of glasses.

arrived at my first destination where I went sporadically went the other day just to get some info and start my research for finding the best place but was an epic failure, I did not pay close attention to the time of operations and was closed for the day. went to the store, and spent a little time there and went to another and another and another place etc, was getting frustrated and decided to use a life line and phone my parents, was given further instructions to go to a place that was near by our home, when we arrived I sort of, kind of rushed in because was told they stop taking walk-ins at 4:30 (because they closed at 5) and it was already 4:15.

filled out the paper work and continued to get checked out (vision, measurements, etc.) and sat back down in anticipation, the doctor called and got up and what felt like the longest walk of my life actually did. I was scared to know what had changed in about 6 years from my last visit of Junior year of High School. turns out there was a slight change, nothing dramatic or drastic but just enough for new prescription. which I think was okay because I needed it. while there the optometrist asked me if I would like to have my eyes dilated for further examination of my eyes, said sure, might as well and carried on with the procedure.

from that moment on, he mention to me that I wold lose vision for the next 3 hours or so, accepted the repercussions and let him continue. everything turned out to be undamaged and perfectly healthy. which was a HUGE surprise to me. “were done!” said the doctor, the technician will give you your trial pair and return for a check up and update and we will give you your 2 boxes of contacts. told him thank you and went on my way up to the front, with some help. forgot my sunglasses in the truck and had to borrow my brothers until we got to the truck (very helpful and kind but oddly strange)…

I went home and could not see, even if my life depended on it, I saw everything fuzzy and unclear with the bright sun blaring down on my eyes, felt very venerable. got home and stayed in the dark trying to recover, doing that helped a bit but got a headache and felt a little like light torture. some time passed and vision came back but pupils were still HUGE, had to continue to wear my sunglasses everywhere and it was funny. joined my aunt to the store without my sunglasses and didn’t know that my eyes were still black as night (hahahahaha) after this long of recovering.

when I arrived home my eyes are slowly being unblack and turning back to their original light brown color. I am here now writing this wearing my sunglasses because the headache is back and need to let my eyes rest from light. in conclusion, going to a professional is not always a bad and scary thing, I know we all expect to hear the worst but at most times it is a good to hear good news (medically speaking). that was my adventure for the day, how was your day?!

good things happening O_o

Advertisements

It’s 5am and I am laying here lifeless, unable to think at all, I stare at the ceiling and all I can see is blankness. I have stayed away from the computer all day, I am using an app from my phone to write this because I am scared to see what really happened. I am afraid to fall asleep because I am afraid to dream, when I dream I dream well and mean well, I don’t want to be like the book and wake up screaming, but  I know it is killing you inside to see me hurt. going to end with Good Night & sleep well with sweet dreams.

blankness O_o

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

I found out something about me that I have only dreamed of telling someone if it was a problem or if it was just paranoia. come to realize that Fiesta and large groups of people frighten me for the extent that in this world I can only control one thing, that one thing is…ME! I can’t control every situation but I can sure prevent something bad from happening when I value life too preciously to have someone else ruin it for me at the blink of an eye or by surprise. I will ONE DAY overcome this fear/paranoia. It is the best I can do…FOR NOW.

O_o

a life changing experience could happen in a flash of a moment, one moment your here and the next your completely somewhere differnt. seeing this first hand changed the way I look at things now, it brought me back to a show of SCRUBS where a patient was diagnosed with an illness and the doctor noted that it could be hereditary & if the patients son wanted to be tested for the illness possibly being fatal. the son refused and let the doctor know “once you know it, you can not unknow it,” which is true! I thought I would never see an experience like this, I had only seen them on tv and how they are potrayed by someones vision. as helpless as you think you are at the moment, the only thing I could think of was that it could have gone a lot worse but greatfully nothing of the worse happened. you will be in my prayers.

O_o

i’m continuing to watch this movie, over heard this saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and it stuns me that society does tell us what we have to look. Why can’t we just be who we want to be?! I have this feeling that everyone around judges and i don’t mind it but it keeps reminding me of a song lyric “its funny how someone else success brings pain, when your no longer involved that person has it all and your just stuck there, just standing there.” I know I am not perfect and lack few qualities but I am doing my best and can only do so much, I AM TRYING, it is the only thing I know how to do. Can you [ACCEPT] this?

O_o