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Tag Archives: one

today was a day to make a wish of the century. it was one-eleven-eleven at eleven:eleven. there were all one’s across the clock. i made mine! did you?!

O_o

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i just realized today that there is one month left in the year. there is a lot i have to catch up on. it is not a lot but what i am doing is bold. enough to be crazy. but here goes nothing. if it can be done it will come alive. i am anxious to see what is. i will be waiting too on my library certificate when i finish being the intern. today went well, better then other days. had to learn and broaden my horizon for the new things i was taught today. it was fairly easy but tried it three times to get it perfect. i am tired from almost knocking out my heart out of my chest when i went running earlier, it felt good to get out, feel the cold while running with tumbler. it had been a while. going to sleep already. got to see a professor about some paperwork for this semester and the next. i hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

i have to say thank you. thank you so much for everything you have done for me. as much as i don’t deserve it thank you. you have got me out of quite a few things that i know one day i will repay you back for. even though we are blood, still; i know one day i will get it all back to you as mint as possible. it make take a while but i know i could never thank you enough. stay safe out there tonight, to others good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today was one of those days for me, a missing in action kind of day. so much to do and so much to see. was up early in the morning running around like a chicken with it’s head chopped off. tried to get everything turned in and tried to talk to everyone i needed too to not be left behind, i still need a few more things. this is the hard part, i feel as if i have to sell myself, but in a way it is for a good cause. well a future cause at that. now i am learning more and being more intrigued into another department but am still following my main goal…for now! like i told my parents at dinner today, i can not focus on just one thing, i want to do everything or at least be informed on lots because not just one subject intrest me. i’ll admit many many moons ago i never wanted to go to class because nothing ever caught my attention until these past few years towards the end of my high school. i have learn to be open about a lot and learned to adapt to what may be going on around my life at the time, but i think right now, this moment of my life i am awake, in a sense that i want to keep learning and never stop. i know with what i am considering may be dangerous but if i could change one thing in a person, i think i can be more helpful to others. and not to mention with my background, i would be able help out others. here is to step number one of many to come. but at the same time i am also afraid of what may happen. i just hope i can get this.

fingers crossed O_o

while sleeping I had a great dream, a lot of what happened in my dream was great but that is another story I will make at a later time; when and if it actually happens. today began my conquest of trying to get everything ready for school. I went really early to see the director of the program for my degree and was the first one in his office. I told him what I wanted to do and he twenty questioned my points and views and i passed! he approved of my internship slot and he went over the trial and tribulations of what needed to be done during the internship. I have my heart set on one place for the sole reason that NO ONE has ever thought of going that route. I just have to hunt down another chairman and director of this location to get the “green light.” I really want to have this under my belt for future references and have been told by many and several past workers they like my work ethics and when I am determined to get something to not stop until I have it. I have been told if I were to ever need anything to not hesitate to ask because they were put in my path for a reason. the reason may never be know but discovered. i do have back up places but since it is a job, I may consider it in the future, I need everything to check out and be on point. I am very nervous and thrilled that I was one of twenty five to get the internship class through that director. I don’t want to be a disappointment but a great candidate for a future consideration of any opportunity that may possibly come my way one day. with everything I do there are a few things that need to be done before the end. I am only on day one! I know this is just the beginning but I have to get this done now. I never thought I would ever say this but it feels like a “now or never” kind of moment. and need all the help I can get.

to [blank] O_o

last night got me thinking, while on the way home a guy in a red charger wanted to race me; not sure why but he did, even though i should have and lost with dignity; i didn’t! i needed a tune up really bad. i fell asleep last night randomly and when i woke up it was morning, got up left my phone and computer behind and went to work. first had to bust open my brothers’ lady first, mine was nothing but parts i could easily do, took several hours and completely changed his rear brakes to new ones. next i started on the out side of shelby and worked my way back. finally finished and she purs and runs like a beast on wheels, two more things to do tomorrow and she will be good and ready. not sure for what but she’ll be ready. it reminded me of a movie i need to re-watch because it is a top favorite, i can just about recite every line in the movie. i stayed offline for the whole day, while i was under the hood and what not i forgot about the world or the world forgot about me, but what is even crazier only one person asked me if i was still alive. it got me thinking, would i really be missed if i was gone? in conclusion just wondering?!

thoughts O_o

“earth, air, fire and water are the four elements of life, each one can stand on it’s own and can also help one another or hurt one another, they are each a different state but all connected as one.” i just had an epiphany while being outside trying to help, i look up and reminded me of what we talked about, it came to mind old friend, buddy, ol’ pal, i can see and do things that may cloud your judgement but the things you say are not meant to knock me down but you don’t see it that way, when you speak you may find truth in the words by the way you perceive it. i on the other hand don’t see it that way, but we all need a little help sometimes looking at things from another point of view. whether what you think is right and wrong for you, is just that, it is for YOU and not me.

if you feel the things you say may hurt me, think again, nothing can bring me down, back then maybe, i used to be a push over, back then, now not so much but every now and then i do see a little of me falling into that state. we have been through and seen a lot. when i see you i can see past all the mess and can see the truth. we are one in the same; like a yin yang; you know my strengths and my weaknesses just i can read yours. things got a little sour during the conversation but we came to an understanding, what you want in life is totally up to you and your destiny to follow, not mine, and vise versa. i look at the big picture in everything and correct me if i am wrong but i think you just see what you want to see.

as i was standing outside trying to help i went into a different state of mind that i haven’t ever been, everything was so clear, like it just went *poof* but when i was interrupted it all went away. whether it is because of something, i can achieve greatness. you just have to let me, as i am about to let you. what ever may come of my new ideals, i don’t really know. i hope for the best for me as i do for all.

in conclusion, i don’t know how this will get to you but i am sending to you. how you take it is up to you. what you do with it is up to you. but as far as for me; here i go!

e.a.f.w.l. O_o

been busy all day, for some reason have felt super in myself, like I am figuring myself from the inside out. while I was eating found some beads and some string and thought I would do something beyond my control. it doesn’t mean that I want to change religion, but I do like how buddhist are at peace with oneself and their surrounding (ex. nature, elements, etc.) which is what I have felt like these past couple of days, on a side note it is not that I am being anti-social staying away from the computer as much as possible unless if I really need it for school work. looked somethings up while I was filling out some problems and entering them in my homework section of my online class and stumbled across this;

“oneness of life and light, entrusting in your great compassion, may you shed the foolishness in myself, transforming me into a conduit of love…” – buddhism

what is strange about this is that many people in my life have mentioned to me that I look like and resemble a buddah statue. i took a little bit of spare time and made a mala (buddah prayer beads) it is black onyx which I am finding to be that it resembles and feels powerful. but in conclusion I am just looking into something new. spiritually. emotionally. and physically.

to new discoveries O_o

I found out something about me that I have only dreamed of telling someone if it was a problem or if it was just paranoia. come to realize that Fiesta and large groups of people frighten me for the extent that in this world I can only control one thing, that one thing is…ME! I can’t control every situation but I can sure prevent something bad from happening when I value life too preciously to have someone else ruin it for me at the blink of an eye or by surprise. I will ONE DAY overcome this fear/paranoia. It is the best I can do…FOR NOW.

O_o