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Tag Archives: okay

how much is too much? there is information one can’t un-know or un-see. part of me tell me he will come out okay and everything will be fine and the other half of me thinks that if it comes to the worse, it would be best to let go and wish for the best. i don’t really know if i am being selfish but it is in your hands now. whatever decision you make will be okay with me as long as i am able to say goodbye.

O_o

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what a day. woke up to the alarm blowing up in my ear. i would have said good morning but the cable lines were frozen and my internet was down because of it. took my final and went home, started on my reports and felt like some coffee, i was already out of it. i had one scoop which couldn’t make me two cups. rushed to the store and it had failed me, the coffee i wanted was out. i know it is now illegal to text while driving but had to respond back, didn’t want you to think something happened to me. i was okay just driving. i went to my next favorite place to shop. found what i wanted and by the time i knew it i was home faster then anything to try to get home before traffic started up. had my coffee and continued on my report. tumbler was crying and since it was early and i was home i decided to go running early. i pushed my limit. i was going to hurt but need to keep my cardiovascular up to keep my heart healthy. i had a scare the other day, nothing serious but scary. while i was typing away i lost track of my battery life and drained my battery twice today. i am finished with five report out of seven total. two more to go and due friday and i also have one more final to go. i hope all had a good day. i am okay. time for me to sleep. have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

everything was good, i was okay with the family, we were all laughing and what not while eating turkey. once we were done i sat down on the couch, watching my little brother pack his clothes and waiting to say goodbye because he had to work for black friday and he lives far away. while he was almost done we got a phone call, i could hear someone talking on the phone saying okay we will be there right away. i knew it wasn’t anybody from my family because we were all accounted for. it turns out it was a distant family member and they were in town and they were lost. automatically i was thrown in the pool to go get them and take them where ever they needed to go. every year it is te same thing! i want to relax and someone always has to ruin it. call me mean or whatever but i was home to relax. something i have been wanting to do for a very long time but no! i had to do other things then relax. i don’t think i ever can remember a time when we have had no interruptions and been able to celebrate this thankful day in peace. i am not angry just a little annoyed that this always happens. but i am over it and going to sleep. i hope all had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday break. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

weekend was unexpected. all in all it was okay, got to spend it with my family which it is what it is. this week will be what most high school and college students know as hell week. here we go! (toast)

keeping up O_o

been practicing one of my lost art these past couple of days with everyone i speak with, most of the people who don’t understand look at me strange but i know that as long as i know i have been speaking it for a long time now but nobody knows that. people see my family and see what they want to see. when we are all together we roll in six strong, bros, aunt, mom, dad and me. been thinking these past couple of days, i told myself it was my turn; and for the most part it has but i still haven’t figured somethings out. i can’t ask my family for help but the person i can ask is … me! i need to figure out everything before it gets too late, it feels like my drive is on cruise at a high rate of speed, i used to be careless about things but i have looked at what has happend and i have become more careful with everything. not sure why. pretty soon i think around here is going to start feeling like it did before. even though i had everything, i didn’t have anything. i have accepted i am a fuck up and have issues to deal with but we all have them. i think as long as i can fix one at a time i will be fine, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but maybe soon. i can’t keep too much bottled up because if i do i know i will shut down and i will go nuclear. i don’t want that to happen. i am optimistic and that’s what make me, well, me. maybe a tweak here and there but i like who i am. in conclusion i guess i just need to open up, haven’t spoke to anyone about what’s swirling around but a white screen that i can enter text into. i know talking is better but there are just moments i can’t even open my mouth too.

one more time O_o

woke up today knowing a little about myself and started to do some things that made me step into another pair of shoes that rarely happens. I know we can be a bit of a handfull sometimes but we don’t do it on purpose. since we were not taught, we have never been in this situation before. my out looks on life are simple, they give me a challenge. it’s not that I am selfish but it sometimes seems to me when I look at the big picture that the world has to revolve around me. when in reality it doesn’t. i see now what you go through on a good long time basis to realize today how much I appreciate everything you have done for all of us. I think everyday as I grow and grow I am learning what you mean you mean by “you have been there done that.” I know we are not all perfect, but there are things you don’t know, not because we choose not to tell you; I think it is because you will not see us the same way as what you know today. I am sorry for you having to lose the thing that matters most to us. but it is not the end and we can still be taught new things and better things to show we listen and care what you have to say. “everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, then it’s not then end.” I learned a lot today. Thank You and have a safe trip back because I am not sure what were to happen if something unpleasant happens.

to maturing and growing O_o