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Tag Archives: inside

i was up really early starting my day. i traveled the whole city. i scaled building and felt like a drone, as if something was controlling me from the inside. then the worst part of my day was after eating lunch; my jaw has been feeling tight and today of all days my wisdom tooth erupted even more and it was giving me a splitting headache. the kind of headaches that can bring a person down and make them want to rip their hair out. it was one of those. holidays are near and trying to run around the city trying to get everything i can. i hope all had a good day. had to take some medicine again and it kicking in. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

was inside most of the day. avoiding the rain. it looked really awesome through the glass but thats about it. after that i had to go help do some yard work for an old family friend, sometimes i see her as a grandmother since my only grandmother lives far away (out of state) and on top of that i don’t think she like me and my brothers. she thinks we can drop everything to go visit but we can’t. that was my good deed i did for someone else. finished and headed home to rest, this time i was able to take a short nap. i am awake now and going to spend time with my family since it has been over a week since i have seen them. i rarely say this but i miss them all. i still have to go over my highlighted marks in my books and notes to prepare for my test on monday. wanted to write this early since i am going to try and stay away from my computer while studying. stay safe, have a good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

the more and more i try to see it, it only gets wider. i kept telling myself; wake up! wake up! wake up! but it was as if my body couldn’t move, i could feel everything but nothing. what i saw was something and what the other person was looking at was behind me. i felt a sharp pain coming from my lower back, it was intense but i couldn’t move, turn, run or even speak. in a strange way, it is true what they say about dreams and what i have seen, read and learned. they are fascinating and interesting to me; well to everyone really! even when i don’t know the meaning behind them. looking back at other remembered dreams i have had, i am taking them apart piece by piece and slowly analyzing them from what i have learned and the the findings are astonishing. even statistic wise too. to say the least i am stumped on what even to say. with an educated guess; i think no one really does know what is going on in ones head but oneself. why we see the thing we see or imagine is beyond me but scientist are possibly soon to discover it, if i don’t first (about myself of course). bwahahahaha. with all this i have possibly been presented with an opportunity some may discover one day. wow!

dreaming O_o

it has been quite some time that i have look into depth of things. i feel we are only configured to see what we choose too, it isn’t until someone else can see what we don’t that we begin to realize what actually is going on around/with us. many people would say i would wear my heart on my sleeve which may come to be true but i just never saw it that way, i always saw myself as hidden or secretive to hide emotions that i wouldn’t want others too see. but i was wrong, i got into a serious conversation with my friend, i have known him for more than five years and would consider him my best friend. he tells it to me straight even though i may not see what he does. i know i have limited people that are true friends, but even though i have many friends they do things that are uncomfortable for me due to my past experiences that i don’t like. i can’t change them because no one should be told how to run their lives. life should be valued and appreciated. i try my hardest to be a good son, friend, etc but i guess i am not. if i can’t put differences aside what good am i as a friend? am i worthless and just a waste of entity?? what have i done to upset anyone lately, please tell me? today was a huge eye opener. i think in order for me to be a way better person somethings that i do may have to change. there are just things i can’t do anymore that i have given up, like for instance; watching tv, two years ago i was presented with an opportunity to not watch tv anymore, many think it was a radical thing to do but it actually worked in favor for me, i got out and became active, not to mention having a dog was a bit more responsibility too. my dog means the world to me, even though i have only had him for two years, he is my best friend. without him i don’t know what i would have done. i am just having epiphanies left and right but this may just be a phase but i want to do what ever it takes to be the best. all what you told me today was the truth, i never knew you had that bottled up inside you, i wish you would have told me sooner, i would have like to know sooner. i am very observent but i am not perfect, i know this, we all have flaws and i told you yours. but that is just what i see, what you do with the information is your choice. thanks.

to being appreciative O_o

was sent a message, wanting to know how I have been doing? sort of spilt the beans, looks like I am doing well from the outside from what they see and read but from the inside; not so much, had a strange dream last night which try to tell me something, can’t really remember it put just parts, but realized that today has been a month, but doesn’t feel like it, it feels strange, still as if it was just a couple days ago, several days have felt as if they have combined together and merged into one, have only had two fridays that I have free but even though there free I am busy. I thought I just wanted a break. sleeping is harder everyday, keep waking up in sweats and falling back asleep and wake up again several times and by the last wake up I have to start getting ready for school. everyone is telling me to do the impossible. I am doing my best and trying but it is hard work, there are things we hide from others but some know, based on their inner instincts. in conclusion even though what happened happened, it has always been said that it happened for a reason.

to knowing the unknown O_o