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Tag Archives: high

today was one of those days for me, a missing in action kind of day. so much to do and so much to see. was up early in the morning running around like a chicken with it’s head chopped off. tried to get everything turned in and tried to talk to everyone i needed too to not be left behind, i still need a few more things. this is the hard part, i feel as if i have to sell myself, but in a way it is for a good cause. well a future cause at that. now i am learning more and being more intrigued into another department but am still following my main goal…for now! like i told my parents at dinner today, i can not focus on just one thing, i want to do everything or at least be informed on lots because not just one subject intrest me. i’ll admit many many moons ago i never wanted to go to class because nothing ever caught my attention until these past few years towards the end of my high school. i have learn to be open about a lot and learned to adapt to what may be going on around my life at the time, but i think right now, this moment of my life i am awake, in a sense that i want to keep learning and never stop. i know with what i am considering may be dangerous but if i could change one thing in a person, i think i can be more helpful to others. and not to mention with my background, i would be able help out others. here is to step number one of many to come. but at the same time i am also afraid of what may happen. i just hope i can get this.

fingers crossed O_o

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today was suppose to be a day of working, what it turned out to be was a downer or bummer. my morning wasn’t so great, woke up at six thirty because of the pain killers wearing off; my foot was in a slight bit more of pain. my mom couldn’t see me suffer anymore and she decided we would head down to see the chiropractor but he wasn’t available due to family issues. then we went to see if my cousin knew anybody and had no luck there. as the day went on i rested on the couch, i knew what would be coming tomorrow and needed all the rest i could take. the pain i am in i can control, one wrong move and i pull the muscle and hurt myself, my parents are afraid if i don’t get this fixed now that it could come back later when i am older and haunt me and might possibly be worse. as if that wasn’t enough; i got an email reminder to pay my classes. if i didn’t i would lose them. well because i got a non passing grade during summer the school decided to deny my chance at getting aid. my tuition jumped to a whopping eight hundred dollars minus books. i had to drop out of a class in order to make a slight payment to even keep my classes. i am very bummed about that, but this isn’t getting me down that easily. i am a fighter and have always been. i want to rant out but what would be the point, it is my fault i could have gotten a better grade, formulas and steps are more difficult to follow sometimes for me. if i made this mistake it is time for me to take responsibility for my actions and put blame on me instead of the world. i do put myself down sometimes but i have to in order for me to learn not to do it again. i believe in myself as well as other see expectations in me too. i glad some people do believe. now it is my turn to appreciate everybody for that and show them there encouragement meant the world to me. i am very sorry if i have let anyone down, my time is now! i am seeing to much i don’t want to see. that is enough of my day, how was yours?

being responsible O_o

today was a success, woke up a little late but got done with what i needed to do! even though it took me forever and a day to finish, i am glad to say that i completed something successfully and passed. feels great, i had to shut out everything though with my earphones, but i got it done and with some time to spare too. with the extra time i had available to me i was able to move a lot of text over from one place to another, deleted my myspace page, continue reading a big book, download some music and catch up on some tv episodes that i had previously missed. i was only able to do that because i wanted to “reward” myself for doing something that would help me out. i am not going to lie, it has always been difficult for me to apply myself at something and let alone be successful at it too. but in a way i am very proud of myself for following through. there are aspects that i lack, i know this, i have figured them out for the most part, i think there are more and that there are hidden aspects i soon to discover about myself  in the future. but this feeling i have right now feels good, in a way a parallel feeling to which i had a times back. i remembered the feeling, feels like a second high without actually being on any kind of substance. in conclusion i think my brain is open up for new material to learn.

to a new milestone O_o

I dreamed it again last night, I am not sure what to do about it, it told me what I needed to see and I did. what does it mean?! isn’t a reoccurring dream suppose to come true, in a way. it is what has been said by many. can I or should I believe it now?? it felt so real, real enough when I went for it I awoke and was in a dark room for a minute and fell back asleep. it was so lucid that I could smell/touch or what I assumed it smelled/felt like. it was scary and great at the same time.

on a side note I was totally right, high or low, it is said to be true. that is awesome gift, I am no magic man but know a few thing that help and you are welcome.

to following dreams O_o