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what an awakening dream, how true can it be? most dreams are brought on by waking life. but i couldn’t distinguish if it was a dream or a premonition; it was very real. i could touch, feel and smell. i didn’t quite understand what was happening i the background but once you know something you can’t un-know it and as far as the other dream. it was awesome, every moment of it. i really hope that one does come true.

O_o

 

today was the day of the camping trip, me and my best friend took off after class was cancelled. work already knew I would be heading out of town. it was about a two to three hour drive the get there. we saw a lot of lush vegetation and a lot of different colored trees and plants. when we arrived we stretched and headed inside and filled out what needed to be filled. we were given a map and the we were expecting to drive up to the camp site when we discovered that we couldn’t drive anymore and had to park and hike up the rocks to the camp site. we parked and popped the trunk.
we grabbed what we needed, we just grabbed the essential for a campsite. i had recently acquired my tent from my brother, it is huge, it can hold twelve people comfortably and maybe more for a crammed bunch. we realized that it was going to be a bit of a hike. it was a three mile hike with about fifty pounds or more of extra weight for each of us.
we talked all the way up the hike about work mostly and the stuff that’s been going on since last seeing each other. we finally arrived and were low on water supply. these camp site were really secluded and nothing like the ones I had gone too a very long time ago. these didn’t have the special emanates of water or shower or even water stations near by. they’re were way different, some of the sites were primitive with nothing around, there we also others that had water and electricity hook-ups and the others were you could have brought a trailer or recreational vehicle to park.
we set up camp and after also being low on food we decided to head back through the hills and to the car to leave the park and head to the gas station about twenty minutes before the site. we got quick things to eat and two gallons of water and paid and returned to the camp site because we had left the tent set up and our belongings. we parked. we tried to pack what we had and consolidated what we could. we hiked up the mountain to returned back to the tent. on arrival there was still no one around. we did see a few people walking back to the parking lot but no one going any father along the trail.
for dinner i opened a can of ranch style beans and ate some cheetos an chased it down with water that we had brought. we got to open up way more then we usually have since we didn’t have any electronics to mess with; it was just us and nature. our conversations got pretty deep. after all that I am here in my sleeping bag writing this out. it was crazy and one of the most adventurous thing I have done in a while. I think it is time for me to get some shut eye. I hope y’all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

how come i can’t reach you, anytime i want to talk i can’t get a hold of you. how are you? how are things?

O_o

had an amazing dream but was rudely woken up by a cramp in my leg. I woke up in a scream. it lasted for a good five minutes. I went straight back to sleep after it had gone away, it was very strange, it felt like a bad dream but when i got out of bed i couldn’t walk. that has only happened one time before and it is a painful feeling. i got up and after limping around for a while i had to take some medicine to try to loosen up the muscles around my calf. it went away for a bit but knew i would have to keep popping pills all day and didn’t want too so i just walked out the pain, it didn’t work as i thought it would in my head. joined some old school friends from way back in my private school days, we got to talking and even back then it is like it is now. someday i wonder who my friends really are. i am beginning to realize to open my eyes and see what is real. i never had seen it before; i guess because i was naive but wow i am glad i was told. hope all have a good day. good night and dream happy dreams.

thinking O_o

I just want to start off with that’s fucked up!!! everyone has always side swiped me with a weightful remark. I am pretty sure every bad thing that has happened to me is because of my size. yes I know I am fat! no need to keep rubbing it in my face. I have always struggled every since I was young, yes I was that husky kid who sometimes was out of breathe because of my asthma. as I look back growing up people used me as a safety net. you know who you are! but it has got to the point where my family and closest friend(s) keep trying to make a joke of it and laugh it off. yeah I laugh but what you are really doing is killing a little part of myself. everyone always goes to the big guy because he can’t hurt you or so you think. I have wrestled and won many of times with people twice my size, I will never forget the time when I didn’t know my own strength and nearly did something that could have hurt my cousin really bad and I broke a tall closet dresser from the force. I have also been used as a body guard, you know who you are, it was fun for a little bit but when you wanted me to get you from one place to another that was just too much, but me thinking you were a friend you got mad when I didn’t want too. how could I have been so naive?! I think today is the last straw. I have been put down one to many times lately. it ends now. everyone has been two-faced to me lately! and i mean almost everyone! how fucked up is it that the people closest to me have been so far away or have pushed themselves farther away. what have i ever done to you?!

a ver que pasa O_o

update: alright world, i have watched you carefully and have done my best to take care of you. now i am putting my fate in you hands. and go!

O_o

this has got to  have been one of the strangest and weirdest weekends i ever had. it all started friday morning. slept in and other stuff was going on around me at the same time and i didn’t even know about. as the day went on something happened that i am not very proud of and has never ever happen to me; my keys; well i rather not say because it is too embarrassing, to say out loud let alone to write down in text. because of a phone call all of my plans had to be rescheduled or mainly modified. i drove.

drove for a bit. arrived and was able to settle in for a few minutes before going to search for my brother. he was celebrating his return back from visiting asia. how cool is that! pretty rad if you ask me. found him and i had that silent tear; you know the single one that is just released from your eye when you  are extremely happy, yeah that one. we and some other friends conversed. meanwhile below the border my parents went to visit my sick uncle and take him to a specialist farther outside of the city and back here i arrived home and got to thinking if there were new plans in the near future. but there is still so much i need to accomplish before some plans can go into effect.

after waking up i wasn’t feeling so well, mold and ragweed were high, but the crazy thing is i have never been allergic until then, the day went on and we went to have a dinner party for a friend who was born half a century ago. i was continuing to feel bad, i cut the night was short and headed home. i was almost asleep when i got a phone call to be a designated driver. i picked up my brother and friend from the road and returned back home to sleep. meanwhile i had received another call from my parents earlier that day that they were safely on there way back; or so i thought.

i was woken up to tumbler (my dog) getting sick and puking on the carpet. of course i had to get up really fast and remove and clean. i did just that. i had a few things to do. well more then a few. when i got to the dishes my mind stopped running a thousand miles an hour. i think the sound of water calms me down or maybe the feeling of water. i have yet to figure out what it is. by this time my parents were already home. i left this afternoon to go home. i was driven and met halfway through. we stayed for a bit and said our goodbyes after a little quality time that was there. on the way home my parents let me know what had happened. this is where it gets weird and strange.

apparently every time we had visited that part of the city we always end up losing and animal dearest to us. my mom had told me that our old dog had a cold for a few days now. even with all the care and medicine it didn’t help. my dad let her run free and she just walked to the back of the shed. normally she was a strong and brilliant dalmatian. she had a lot of what tumbler has know, i think he picked it up from her and some pointers from me as well. my dad said she was in plain sight and then she disappeared. my dad went looking for her when she wouldn’t answer her name being called out. she had walked farther away from from the house and removed herself from sight when she passed away. she passed away of natural causes, she was quite old. but she like our other dogs and pups will never be forgotten. we will miss you brittany, we love you girl. may you rest in peace and go visit our other canine family in doggy heaven. and if that wasn’t enough to bare, the kept going and told me what happened on the return trip.

while on their way back from the doctor and passing all the check points they were stopped by a federal cop truck and pulled off the side of the road. my dad was wondering what he had done wrong. it was broad daylight and he wasn’t drunk or speeding or being reckless in anyway shape or form. the official asked my dad to step out of the car and pop the trunk and hood of the rental car. he inspected the hood quickly and then returned farther away from the car with the trunk still opened. he asked my dad several questions. my dad answered with no problem. it was until the official assumed my dad had money and was lying. on a side note my dad has never done any of that, he is a well respected contractor in the business. he normally doesn’t carry a high amount of money on his person. as the official he told him that he would be going to jail. he brought out handcuffs and asked him what he wanted to do, at this point my dad was thinking that he was never going to see his wife, kids and family ever again. he was thinking the worst possible. as i am hearing this i am furious and thinking to myself, if anything like that ever were to happen i would pull the sort of stunt that you see in movies. i’ll just leave it at that.

he offered his last one hundred dollar bill to the official, mind you the officer had a loaded machine gun. while all this is going on my mom, aunt and uncle are in the car trying to listen and see what is going on. but they can’t since they were far away from the car. no one around for miles. they told him that he was going to jail and whoever was in the car would go about there business. at the same time there are three other men in the truck and also with loaded weapons. my dad highly believe what was going down was, what has been seen on the news lately over the border. with the offering my dad said that was his last hundred dollar bill and it was for the return trip home. the man was furious and said if he wanted them back that he would be sent to jail. the man refused to take the money where the others would see and the official asked him to make it as if they were shaking hands to make the swap. luckily the man let them go. my dad was saying at that moment in time he felt his life was just worth a hundred dollars and that the other guy could care less what happened next.

as they pressed on to reach the border my dad said he felt dead inside. no feeling what so ever. literally as if his life flashed before his eyes. he said no matter what until this drug war and corruption continues he would not return; until it is fixed. by the looks of things doen’t look like it will be stopping anytime soon. as soon as they hit american soil was when he felt alive again. we were on protected and safe soil. with great appreciation of cops and other s who serve, he know saw why we our such a great country.

my mom was saying what would happen if it did actually happen. but instead i swayed her mind from thinking like that and know there is a higher power that can protect with some faith. i didn’t know whether to me sad or angry at what happened but all i know is that i had the biggest epiphanies this weekend due to everything that happened this weekend. there are other missing parts to this story but i am choosing to leave them out. it makes me angry at what they are doing., hurting innocent people for a few extra bucks in their pocket tax free. there is more i would like to say but can’t.

some things will be looked into because of my epiphanies, let’s just see what happens. i am extremely tired and i wish everyone stays safe. have a good night and dream happy dreams.

O_o

today went well except for an achey back-spasm. i think it was being hunched over and working on the bike yesterday. today was another busy day added on to my list of busy days. i woke up early and went to school. was able to have some time to make it home and grabbed a quick bite of breakfast before heading out to work. arrived and went straight to work. since i grabbed a late breakfast i was not hungry until after the lunch hour.

what what have been my lunch my mom called me to know if i had heard or seen anything on a friend of mine. he has so much family and wife drama that he tried to commit suicide by taking some of his moms’ heart medication but it just made his heart race as if it was on speed. hey if you are reading this you know who you are, there was no need for that, it is obvious that the big guy still has plans for you if you are still here, even though times are tough and need to hang out, let me know, drowning yourself in alcohol and skipping on your mandatory military counseling doesn’t help much; it does sort of make the problem bigger and now you are more involved then ever. take care of yourself brother.

couldn’t believe what i was hearing and even on the job too. after work i headed hom and there was traffic, i left fie minutes later then usual and was stuck in traffic for a while. got home safely and began with a snack and then on homework. i finally finished and i am ready for bed and ging to try to read. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today went well. it was a big surprise at that. i took tumbler to the park and he acted really good today. he is normally very jumpy and excited. spent a few hours there and answered a few questions others had about him. went over to a friends house to watch the cowboys play football and decided to make a bbq, i thought my friend was joking when he told me to turn on the fire. i said sure and turned it on. pitched in some money and brought back some chicken to grill. i still haven’t forgotten how to grill. i miss it. went home and am here now getting everything ready for tomorrow morning. it will be the most important morning i have had in a while. well i hope all had a great day, me and tumbler are beat. good night, sleep well & sweet dreams.

O_o

today has got me thinking. i joined my friend and other friends in a race way out in the middle of no where. the scenery was like the one i had in my dream before i woke up this morning before we went there. it was just like when me and my brothers took our drive out of state to see one of the eight world wonders. it was very lush. of course some of it was man made but the rest was nature at it’s best. many things still left to do and the week is coming to an end. a new one is beginning at there are more things that will need to be get done, as far as tomorrow it will be really busy. i hope all had a good day. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

what a day today has been; it was a productive day with so many things to do. woke up, met with some friends, was fed so much food for a morning brunch and then came back home. met a few more friends to watch the longhorn game, we left at half time because they were losing and decided to catch it at home. began doing work. had to figure out way to manage my time since everything is going to be crucial in these next few weeks. i am excited but i do not want to go through some things. i answered a life questionnaire that i was asked to for the position and it was about thirty pages long. it went deeply into my life, wanted to know just about everything. well by the end of filling out all the paperwork i had about fifty pages; talk about saving a tree. it is early and already falling asleep. you know you are getting old when you do homework and start falling asleep early on a saturday night. well hope all had a good day. good night and happy dreaming.

O_o

today has felt like a real simulation game. so many things to do in just so little time to do it in. wow i am way tired and i still have another two days like this. “duck. duck. duck. duck. goose.” lol.

O_o