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thanks for ruining my thanksgiving. this was a day for me to relax, not to be a tour guide or a hotel. i love how i am automatically volunteered to follow through with something without being consulted and i am expected to be happy about it. yeah thanks so much.

O_o

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i missed class. yeah i over slept. i also fell asleep on my homework. mind you i got three things going on back to back. yeah it is tough. i gave you my word and i intend to follow through with it. even with everything happening. i was able to square a few things today. i am home from trying to do everything when all i need is a break but everything just keeps coming back. looks like i won’t be going anywhere this weekend, which is good, but at the same time i will be working. i have too. my career is depending on this one now. i did have a busy day, it is now over and completing my homework right now. i hope all had a better day. stay safe out there. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

finally the week is over but another is about to begin, another week of trying to cram in everything together to get everything turned in too. my head if full of information that it is coming out of my ears. even with sleeping early and getting enough rest and having a balanced breakfast, i have been running around everywhere and it has been a game of cat and mouse. one minute im here the next i have to go across town and so on and so on. it is well worth it but the part that is never good are the headaches and body aches. not to mention the workouts i have been through this week are killer but relaxing and refreshing at the same time. i hope to be sleeping in on sunday, still have more to do tomorrow. have a good rest of the night folks, this is me signing off for today. had a lot to say today too.

never ending cycle O_o

everyone always talks about time as if it is something we can control, how time works i really don’t know, came across something today; “time doesn’t heal anything, it just teaches us how to live with the pain.” – Naomi Remen, which i find to be true, i have said it before and i will say it again, i have seen my version of hell and back and i don’t like it one bit, i would never wish anything i have seen or done upon someone. there are things that i have seen and have happen that i wish no one would ever have to go through, but i guess if it doesn’t happen, we wouldn’t be able to learn to change or fix situations. talking about things does help, but the person you really want to talk can’t help in any which way or form. does the perception they have of the situation help any by repeating it? or does the advice given be taken or heard when the situation at hand has never happen to them?? i am just trying to do the best thing but am i doing the right thing??? everyone always says “follow you heart” and some concur that the heart is just an organ unlike the brain which has a side that no one can see but oneself and listen to it too. can it be that giving up is the answer, some say it’s a lost cause and is not my burden to carry but when in reality it is as much burden as anyone else? i am feeling that i am becoming something i said i would never be, how or what can i do to change this?? if anyone has ever felt this way, what is the best advice that can be passed on? in conclusion, do i speak and ask for help or do i keep my mouth shut and carry on my day, like any other?!?!

to feeling … O_o

i guess something so small can not be depended on, someone ask and i follow through, why can it never be the other way, always has to be an excuse! blaming it on the weather, please, i driven in worse and i just finished driving through hell and back, took me 4 hours just one way, don’t know why this task has to be so difficult. i do everything, but looks like i can’t depend on anyone anymore to do anything for me and must do it all myself. guess i will have to start getting used too. i am not doing anymore favors. i don’t get anything but the shaft end of the stick. i am mad now but will get over it later. putting my troubles off to the side to concentrate on the real task at hand.

to needing to venting O_o

if you are wondering about the title it is pronounced (uhn-dur-dee-mee-cee-a-ted). lol. if you know what i am talking about i will carry on, if not, sorry. it has felt like that for the past couple of days, it has been a tough thing to come out of, the monkey and giraffe have help me out a lot…they tell me beats, poems/lyrics. i recently mentioned the word LIFE and threw it around left and right to people i have spoken too and have just got ten about the same reaction from all. in their head they are probably thinking i am crazy or mildly insane. but know this, i am perfectly sane! what i have come to realize or epiphanize if you will; that i can not fix everything! but favors that are dealt should be repaid, it should’t always have to be about it, it is replaceable. under the right circumstances it can easily be replaced. even though you are not here in my presence i hope you realize now that the world doesn’t all revolve around it. yes it helps, but for needs and not wants. i do hope that you get to understand this, i am telling you with my all, don’t jump because you want to, but jump because you have too. i know it is a huge leap in your life and i am very happy for you, i have never said this out loud but i do miss you. you are my best friend. and I LOVE YOU. just be careful. yeah i want to see you succeed just like everyone else but you better follow with what you said you were going to do. in the end, do what you love and love what you do.

to a new mountain O_o

today felt like a relay, was up and moving around from the moment i got up. got to class to come to find out we were learning new chapter, well a few new chapters. after class i headed up to Austin right after class. with some determination i was able to make it to town in recored time, like guinness world record time. lol. returned back and was just something inspiring of a drive, open my eyes to see what i had been over looking. my inspiration and came across this while looking through some text, “use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life.” – A. Brookman and was presented to join something, so i did!!! it will take a little bit of time, and some will power. but for me to master this will be a big jump for me. new things came to me the other day, something i put off when they were presented to me, but with a little bit of inspiration i came back to it and have it now buzzing in my ear. in conclusion, everyone always say you can achieve something when you put you mind to it and i am following through with what has been said.

new direction O_o