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Tag Archives: fine

how much is too much? there is information one can’t un-know or un-see. part of me tell me he will come out okay and everything will be fine and the other half of me thinks that if it comes to the worse, it would be best to let go and wish for the best. i don’t really know if i am being selfish but it is in your hands now. whatever decision you make will be okay with me as long as i am able to say goodbye.



what a day today has been! got up for school, was slightly lazy getting ready and cost me some time. made it to school on time right when my professor did too. learned a lot of new stuff, stuff i didn’t even know from way back in the day. lol. after school went strait to work. got out and was kind of tired of seeing books but i had to stay off the computer and get to work. doing my homework, that is. got my readings done, took some notes and listened to my recordings of class in case i didn’t miss anything. ;o] i am here now trying to type this out quickly just in case i fall asleep early; which all signs are pointing to yes. i feel exhausted and tired; i guess that’s how life really is. might as well start getting used to it because i am no where near being done. hope all had a good day, i am fine now, i think. have a wonderful night and sweet dreams.


been practicing one of my lost art these past couple of days with everyone i speak with, most of the people who don’t understand look at me strange but i know that as long as i know i have been speaking it for a long time now but nobody knows that. people see my family and see what they want to see. when we are all together we roll in six strong, bros, aunt, mom, dad and me. been thinking these past couple of days, i told myself it was my turn; and for the most part it has but i still haven’t figured somethings out. i can’t ask my family for help but the person i can ask is … me! i need to figure out everything before it gets too late, it feels like my drive is on cruise at a high rate of speed, i used to be careless about things but i have looked at what has happend and i have become more careful with everything. not sure why. pretty soon i think around here is going to start feeling like it did before. even though i had everything, i didn’t have anything. i have accepted i am a fuck up and have issues to deal with but we all have them. i think as long as i can fix one at a time i will be fine, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but maybe soon. i can’t keep too much bottled up because if i do i know i will shut down and i will go nuclear. i don’t want that to happen. i am optimistic and that’s what make me, well, me. maybe a tweak here and there but i like who i am. in conclusion i guess i just need to open up, haven’t spoke to anyone about what’s swirling around but a white screen that i can enter text into. i know talking is better but there are just moments i can’t even open my mouth too.

one more time O_o