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Tag Archives: different

What’s different now? What happened that changed everything? I am doing everything right and possibly more and still can’t be in my favor. What you see on the outside is similar to whats on the inside but minor adjustments. I never quit or give up but there is only so much I can endure. That my mind and body will even let me. I never wanted a change so bad in my life until now and now that all the signs aren’t in my favor and are pushing me farther away; is that life ways telling me that this is not for me and to try eles where? Why does no one just give me a straight answer and quit beating around the bush. I really dislike what it is doing to me, figuratively speaking. You can see it and it is very noticeable if you know where you are looking.

too many questions. O_o

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i have been told to “make something out of nothing.” recently have been inspired to speak through my work. i never did understand that until today. it is a huge quote throughout the marketing and advertising classes which i have never taken but have heard all about them many years ago. many artist speak through their music, but what do you call an artist that uses others to create another type of music? the closet people around me know what i am talking about. the answer is a dj. why it comes to a surprise to most i don’t really know?! i am i the works with an artist permission to use their music to create my own, have been searching and searching and even though the majority of my library is full of all types of music, i am very happy about that because then who ever were to look over my library would know why i do what i do. i guess in a way this post is to let the world know i am a dj and judge all you want. but answer me this when you go out to a club, who is producing the music? yeah that’s right the dj. on a different bar note (lol) today was good, was able to talk. something i hadn’t done in a while. in a big way i felt relieved, maybe every side of the coin is better if i let it go it’s course instead of me trying to control it. i know not everything is in my control but i can control me, i can finally live and let live. we’ll see how it goes from here, good i hope. thanks.=o)

to … O_o

it says to be truthful; so here goes, i have been bombarded with questions of me not working, to be honest i really don’t like having a boss or someone shoving me around, i really like the idea of me being my own boss. it is a tough thing to do but starting today i am now an entrepreneur! my only job that i really like was; sadly enough; abrecrombie, even though i had a boss, he really wasn’t a boss to me, he gave me power to be my own boss and because of him i joined the corporation for two years but once he was gone i lost that privilege. i was working just to be able to listen to the music. crazy to say but it is true, my inspiration to be a better dj was in the store. even when he was gone i was taken of my “title” but it was only stripped for a short time, when the rotation of four new managers came in, three of them gave me that power and had the same passion for music as i did and things went back to normal. i was able to be happy working, everyone hated me; like always; because i was able to release some of my mixes live on the sales floor. it felt really great when people came up to me and asked me questions about my love for music. i am slowly getting that feeling back, i have remastered an old project that i had started because a friend and her friends liked my stuff and asked if i would ever release a new type of mix, from way back in the day when i started to now there has been a whole new music list that needs to be updated. i am still in the editing process and it still isn’t right, in my ears. to me a dj is someone who can adapt to anything, which i have been able to with all my genres of music. everyone i know likes more of a specific type of music and they all have different taste, i personally wouldn’t be able to choose one, i like them all, even though there are a few exceptions. i have been taught that i should love what i do instead of taking the easy way out; they are right! i have read a few things and do like what i have read. it is a completely different way of life but every survey i take comes up with the same answer(s). i know i can’t be what i dream of being but maybe it is a different significance with the same attitude, may not make sense now but if and when i am done; i will be my own boss and make my own rules and will be able to say something that is at the tip of my tongue right now and i have always wanted to say. in conclusion i am getting closer to what i was meant to be.

to me being me O_o