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Tag Archives: determine

wow what a day today has been. it is early and already i am falling asleep. i know i need my rest because tomorrow will be one hell of a day for me. so much to do with so little time. these next few day determine a lot. i am nervous. for the first time in a while. i know baby steps were there before but now i am taking a huge leap and i will have to see what my evaluation says. i know i am not crazy, well i hope not but pts does change some things. hope all had a good day. it is time for me to rest and sleep. good night and happy and sweet dreams.

porque O_o

was working on Shelby today, well for most of the day, didn’t think putting on 4 shoes would take so long, but it did, by the end of it was covered in dust from head to toe. in a way i looked like a a spotted tiger, hahahahaha in that whole time working and fixing the brakes got bumps, cut and maybe even bruises, but for sure will have scars for it. i see them now after scrubbing off the dirt and grime and laugh, how i took something so simple and made it so complex. but what was even stranger was that throughout the time working I had forgotten to eat, it never phased me, my stomach never made a sound or a movement, i was so focused on completing the task in front of me that it reminded me of school, if i can put that much dedication and time into my studies i am sure to make it out on top, but i didn’t do it all myself, since i had no car to move around in i had to ask my dad for help. hated to since he was tired from getting home from work but he saw me struggling and dirty that he was thoughtful enough to ask if i needed help, father’s day was around the corner an didn’t want him to strain or make him even more tired and just asked him if he could make a quick run to the auto-parts store to get me a spring that i needed. finally finished, scrubbed out of my clothes and washed up and finally headed to get some food, was starving. that was my adventure for today, what was yours like?

to healing scars O_o

reading this book is making me think. I know it’s a big series of books about a certain kind of story but what it makes me wonder is the three characters here are all sort of like me. I act like two of them as one but feel what the other has gone through, the bigger wonder is if I would ever be able to recover, I have always been hurt, is it just bad timing? am I even caple of giving it?? should I know what it is??? what do i need to change???? or not change????? I know right this second that I am not ready for anything new but friendships, walls that have never been up feel like they are going up around the center, I don’t know what the future holds for me now but all I can do for now is try, Try TRY! I have a new determination that I had several times ago, that was helped into seeing, to achieve my goals in life. I want a career, a degree and to get accepted. that is what I want for the time being. I do miss a lot of things, like they say “take it day by day, one step at a time.” I don’t really know how to cope on this one, nothing was done wrong to me. I do need a little help with this one. in conclusion, I know what I want, but will need all the help, push, motivation and determination to help me get there. please.

to a living soul O_o

I said what I needed to say. it feels like a huge pressure is off my back now. I am feeling better knowing what I know now. I couldn’t fight the feeling, I just knew I had too. everyone will disagree with what I am about to do, I am standing up and listening to me now. I laid the monkey down to rest off my shoulders. it feels right. I am me, I will not be the person everyone wants me to be because y’all feel that is what is best for me. I know what is best for me. live with it folks! it is my turn to shine. =O)

knowing O_o

STOP IT; everyone!!!! I know what I have to do, let me be and worry about your things. I can not forget what happen but I can forgive. I do forgive you and I hope you can be happy, I want what is best for you, I know one day you will get what your heart always desires. everyones opinion is just an opinion and do not want to hear it. I know what I must do in life and am determined to prove everyone wrong. what is the point of me being angry when nothing bad was done to me. I do hope for your well being and safety. I do still care, it will be a while before I can even think about going to the market. right now it is my turn, for me!!! I will be okay and I know you will to, but I know that I can’t not have you there. you showed and helped me SO much that I thank you for. they say “everything happens for a reason” which I would agree with. I know it will not be the same as it was before but I would still like to be friends, even if it is just a hello, morning, afternoon, I am okay, how are you, etc. that is okay for me.

friends O_o