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Tag Archives: chance

how much is too much? there is information one can’t un-know or un-see. part of me tell me he will come out okay and everything will be fine and the other half of me thinks that if it comes to the worse, it would be best to let go and wish for the best. i don’t really know if i am being selfish but it is in your hands now. whatever decision you make will be okay with me as long as i am able to say goodbye.

O_o

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today i was woken up early by my dreams. it was like what happens on inception, a dream within a dream, i was walking through a mall and with a co-worker and telling him different things when out of the blue i hear my name called i turn and turn to try to find where that voice was coming from. i was getting anxious and then kept walking and talking, moments later i could see a figure of  some sort pixelating in front of me; while this is happening my co-worker is still talking and walking; what i saw i didn’t know because i began thinking in my head to wake up. before that an arm tried grabbing me and then at that moment it was as if i could see myself waking up but it was still a dream. then in the distant could hear tumbler barking and it got louder to where i did actuall wake up for real.

after that it was early and i was able to make me a healthy breakfast and throw on a pot of coffee, sure enough i downed two cups before leaving to school and took a third with me. went to school took my test and realized some of the questions i didn’t know must of been the ones i missed class because i overslept. it is to early to tell but i don’t know how i did and wont find out until my final on next friday. after that i made it home to grab my stuff for work and headed to work.

when i arrived i greeted all co-workers and couldn’t remember for the life of me what my co-worker in my dream was telling. he was running around everywhere and i never got a chance to converse with the guy and i got busy working the whole day. i was curious and was trying to see how i was doing so far and started talking with the supervisor and he said i was doing good but to slow down on working so much, i was taking work from the others because i am asking for more work. lol. i was taken to lunch by some of the guys at work, i think the talk i had with them they finally trust me. returned and got straight to work. i think i was more distracted today by everyone then i ever have. i’m the youngest one there, it wasn’t too long ago that i was in the shoes of the kids that come and go. i had finished my last set of paper work on the deadline a few minutes before leaving. once i left for home that was that.

i arrived home and arrived early so i changed really fast and headed to the park to go running with my dog, again. since i arrived early to the park it was still some daylight out, i did my thing and it was too early to go home i decided to go another mile or so and then return home. it turned out just perfect. i was able to run a bit more in a short period of time. then returned home.

after arriving home got my sandwich out and ate before starting back up on my work i have to catch up on. it is a lot and i just woke up from a half hour nap i took. i have to get to work early tomorrow and will be going to sleep after getting ready for bed. i hope all had a good day and a safe night. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

today had to have been one of the 3rd hardest day i had ever had to go through. the test this morning practically gave me an aneurysm, my head nearly exploded by thinking so much. i pulled through but am disappointed in myself, i know i could have done better, but at the same time i know i did all i could. i am unsure of my grade, so i decided no matter what i am going to retake that class again for the fall semester, it will still be fresh in my brain that i think i can pull a “B’ average or maybe an “A” if i really work hard rather then a low “C” or a “D” which i can’t handle on my GPA. i looked more into my class schedule and will be going monday through friday with four classes and on top of all that an internship, where i have to choose somewhere to work. i am still undecided and need to make a decision fairly quickly. & i thought my day couldn’t get any worse; it did! turns out when i got back home my parents, well mainly my mom had just finished wiping her tears because her eyes were pink from letting the water flow. i knew from what she had told me yesterday something was wrong, sure enough, i was right. my uncles treatment had absolutely no effect on him and has to have more test done. alcoholism is an ugly thing, it scares me when i see it in my family, how it must be for others. i have seen hell and more and refuse to take part and me myself drink. wine is a different story because it helps the heart throughout the years. i am unsure if he will be able to recover from this and it doesn’t help that another hurricane is coming in and he lives near where they are evacuating families in mexico. one hand i see he found this and deserves it but on the other he is my uncle and my family and needs our help. even though we are so far away i am unsure we will one day get that dreaded phone call giving us some bad news. but i am unsure what will happen… dont know what my life is coming too either. in conclusion i hope there is something good from this, i hope he learns too, it is sad and wish he can be saved.

to never knowing O_o