relieved

i was able to post a few pictures of of the party. what i didn’t want to say yesterday was i thought i would never release emotions like i did on the drive back home. i was super grateful for the opportunity that was presented to me. i was sad that i was leaving it all behind and having to get back to the real world. i took some advice from a friend who recommended some classes online and have started listening to the classes. it was a logic class and everything they were mentioning i had already learned in philosophy class. i am going to get to learning and filling my brain with knowledge because i miss school and am excited to go back. catch you later.

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capsule

got a little bit of free time today to meet up with my friend and free up some overloaded brain cells. i still have a long way to go before i can officially rest. i am borderline about to have an anxiety break down. i skipped my running to try to get my work done. it helped a bit. but what isn’t helping are my wisdom teeth coming in and me having a headache because of it. it almost to the point where i would take some pliers and rip them out myself but the dentist already told me that if i mess with them and pull the main nerve, that it would hurt really bad. i am taking some pills to get rid of the pain for now and heading to bed, i have got my first final in the morning. i miss you folks. hope all had a good day. good night and sweet dreams.

reading

i don’t want to be mean but some people need to know what to say before they speak. i know you folks are misinformed but look it up. what i study shall not be brought up during work, especially when the boss is around. that is termination talk. i know you probably got mad when i wouldn’t explain myself, but what i do is my business. my religion has nothing to do with it, i told you as much as i wanted to so you could think about it and if you are interested you will look it up online.

on another not the semester is coming near a halt. i don’t know what i should do but i do know how to get there. as crazy as that sounds. i feel like just curling up in a dark room to see what happens. i have worked hard but what i really want is to work full time with what i have learned. i like working, i do not slack, i press on even though i am there fo a short period of time. i know what i was put on this earth to do. yes i figured it out mom and dad all by myself. there is one thing i am waiting for and i wish you would say it.

i have had to many things blow through my brain today. i wanted to relax and after work my parents wanted me to get them the third toy story, it was sad but really good. made me think a lot more after the movie. started looking for my journal and i found something, i had forgotten about it but not sure how to go at it. i wrote the few ideas down, if they work, they work! if they don’t then i will modify them until they do work. it is time to sleep, hope all had a good day. may you have a good night and sweet dreams.

product

been crazy busy and i am the coffee isn’t helping to keep me up, have gone just about everywhere in my head to reach the answers to write these reports. some are okay to write but the others are getting a bit more difficult when writers block is creeping up really slowly, i just feel it. got to get back to these reports for school and work. hope all had a good day. good night, be safe, sleep well and sweet dreams.

buzzzeee

i have been so busy that i am addicted to books, paper, pen and writing. i have not been able to use my computer as  through all of this and i remember the days i always had something to do on it. i wonder how it would have been if the computer or internet was never invented. makes you think, huh?! i have gone through a writing pad already with notes and drafts of my reports before i can finally transfer them to the computer and print them out. work was easy but i was in solitary confinement for a good while, i was told to mark boxes. of course i had to make it fun, i would race agains the clock and in the four hours i was alone i was able to label over two-hundred boxes. they were surprised because the person who was doing them got through less then thirty in one hour. not to boast or anything but i could have possibly been working on my reports but i was getting cramps in my arms from lifting, writing, etc. as the day went on i was given an invitation to a boys baby shower; one of the workers wife was pregnant and i was invited without even really knowing the guy. should i go? or shouldn’t i? i just have to see how busy my day will be on thursday. when i got home i grabbed my ipod and threw the shuffle all songs on and i got strait to work, i am still not done now but am getting to tired to write and need a short brain recovery break. with that i am already for bed. i hope all had a good day. good night, sleep well amd sweet dreams.

sure

while on my second run i began think, am i doing the right thing? even though this internship is easy i am feeling it is wrong all at the same time. yes it is an internship but on the other hand it has nothing to do with my profession. i thought it to be at first. but now i’m not so sure. i been told not to waste time because it will be difficult to catch up. as true as it may be that and among other things have been racing through one half of my brain and as far as the other half it is on this huge quiz i have been dreading. even if i could stop time i think it is way too much information for a quiz but i was able to attend a online study session that helped some. i do hope i don’t forget any small details that i really need to know. as far as today did what and maybe more then i needed too but can’t worry about that too much, need all my focus on school for the next ten hours. i hope all had a great day, it is time for me to sign off and sleep. have a wonderful night and sweet dreams.

con mucho carino

study

some of these latin name that are in my book are going to be difficult to remember for a test. i still have one more book to buy, i hope i can at least find it. when i went on saturday on of the book stores was closed, the computers were down, epic fail. i got school in the morning and wont have time to stop there first and get the book so i have devised a plan to take notes but at the same time record the class with a recording device also known as my phone. with the first attempt i could hear people in the background coughing and shuffling and moving papers. i got to see if sitting closer will help. it should be, well i think i will let you know tomorrow, because i can not make an educated guess at the moment since my brain is not working properly. it is tired and is making me tired and sleepy, with that everyone have a good and safe night folk, especially you, yeah you right there! yeah, you!! lol.

dream

the more and more i try to see it, it only gets wider. i kept telling myself; wake up! wake up! wake up! but it was as if my body couldn’t move, i could feel everything but nothing. what i saw was something and what the other person was looking at was behind me. i felt a sharp pain coming from my lower back, it was intense but i couldn’t move, turn, run or even speak. in a strange way, it is true what they say about dreams and what i have seen, read and learned. they are fascinating and interesting to me; well to everyone really! even when i don’t know the meaning behind them. looking back at other remembered dreams i have had, i am taking them apart piece by piece and slowly analyzing them from what i have learned and the the findings are astonishing. even statistic wise too. to say the least i am stumped on what even to say. with an educated guess; i think no one really does know what is going on in ones head but oneself. why we see the thing we see or imagine is beyond me but scientist are possibly soon to discover it, if i don’t first (about myself of course). bwahahahaha. with all this i have possibly been presented with an opportunity some may discover one day. wow!

dreaming

rise

today didn’t go as expected, i didn’t expect what actually happened. i have been taken responsibility for my words that come out of my mouth and will stick to what i say. no more holding back. it is time to do what i said i was going to do (you know), i have been wrecking my brain. even though opinions are out there i have to see both sides of everything now. time to buckle down and find my meaning in this life. got to take these small steps one at a time. “if at first you don’t succeed get up and try again.” i hope i can keep this promise as we discussed a while back. =o)

to a brain thinking

vision

is all that we see true? based on science it has been said that we perceive what we see is based off light reflected of an object into our optic nerve and the transmitted into the brain. i have been wondering this since today is the very first time in a while that i have actually sat down and watch television. i saw a few show with my parents and have been watching some episodes on paranormal occurrences. very creepy. lol took a break from the tv and sat outside with tumbler, stayed out there for a bit and was staring at the stars. i was staring at one in particular, it was quite amazing, as i stared it could have been my imagination or not but is was changing colors, kind of like a prism. that in a way was a high point of my day. crazy how something so far away can burn so bright. stars amaze me. 🙂

bright stars

blowing up

i am blowing up but not in the way most would think, my head is full of jumbled thoughts, like a never ending game of clue, i have all the pieces; it’s just that i can’t put them all together and figure out who did it. i know today would have marked a special day for us, i have stayed off the computer all day. my day really wasn’t excited today but it was full of remember-alls (hp lol) and me having a fight with my heart and brain and have been trying to figure out what to say. it is too personal to show to the world. you will know the pass by what i got for christmas.

thinking

levantar

been practicing one of my lost art these past couple of days with everyone i speak with, most of the people who don’t understand look at me strange but i know that as long as i know i have been speaking it for a long time now but nobody knows that. people see my family and see what they want to see. when we are all together we roll in six strong, bros, aunt, mom, dad and me. been thinking these past couple of days, i told myself it was my turn; and for the most part it has but i still haven’t figured somethings out. i can’t ask my family for help but the person i can ask is … me! i need to figure out everything before it gets too late, it feels like my drive is on cruise at a high rate of speed, i used to be careless about things but i have looked at what has happend and i have become more careful with everything. not sure why. pretty soon i think around here is going to start feeling like it did before. even though i had everything, i didn’t have anything. i have accepted i am a fuck up and have issues to deal with but we all have them. i think as long as i can fix one at a time i will be fine, maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but maybe soon. i can’t keep too much bottled up because if i do i know i will shut down and i will go nuclear. i don’t want that to happen. i am optimistic and that’s what make me, well, me. maybe a tweak here and there but i like who i am. in conclusion i guess i just need to open up, haven’t spoke to anyone about what’s swirling around but a white screen that i can enter text into. i know talking is better but there are just moments i can’t even open my mouth too.

one more time