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It’s all gone. Everything I though I had and worked so hard for, GONE! DONE! FINISHED! NO MORE! Feeling like a plastic bag. Lifeless, empty, used, etc. When will this feeling end?

hard times O_o


I guess yesterday’s paper was right. Was going to feel like I was hit by a bus. It’s only at the end of the day where I can piece every thing together.

it happened again O_o

Went to my follow up today. It’s kind of scary but stitches are out, and now it is time to heal. Other medication were prescribed for infection. I have to keep wounds clean and shouldn’t be a problem says the doctor.

post-op O_o

Recovery was tough. Got through the pain without medication, when ingested it made things worse. Post-op in a few days to remove stitches and heal some more. I Survived.

Never Let Them See You Bleed O_o

Well, Here goes!

Love You O_o

Already fasting for tomorrow morning and getting a headache. I can only have water after finishing my dinner until the next few days. Just hoping for stable results to follow through with the rest.

anxious O_o

There is only so much that I can donate to science, but there will be two things I absolutely can not give away, as much as science would want them and need them I can not bare to know that someone will have what I once did.

can’t do it O_o

Well the day has finally come. I passed all my exams and was cleared for surgurey next week. I have been dreading this moment but now it looks as if it’s written in black and white in the appointment book. I am nervous yet excited to know that after this I don’t have to worry any more and can rest easier.

whatever happens O_o

I think I have finally come to discover why clowns are one of my biggest fears. It all started back many many years ago; I was a child and I was about to go to sleep when I remember it was a month before Halloween I saw an advertisement that had a clown on it with candies for sale. I thought nothing of it at the time. I went to sleep and while asleep, I had a dream that I was at a recreation center for a birthday party and was having a blast with all the other kids and my family when a clown surprised the center and nearly scared me half to death. I remember running back to my family and just remember the feeling as if the clown was chasing me and then I woke up. After some time awake of the freight I went back to sleep. That next day we went over to my cousins house and I was tricked into watching “IT” and from then, all I could remember was the paranoid feeling of being chased and watched by clown(s). Til this day I am still weirded out by clowns with tons of make up because I don’t know the person under the make up and what they’re capable of doing.

phobia O_o

It’s 2:00 AM and my mind is running a million miles at a time. The only thing keeping me sane is …


I can not change the inevitable but it looks as if the move is soon to arrive. I wish it wouldn’t. But not really sure what will happen?! Well, what ever does happen, good or bad, here goes!


I wonder how other peoples’ lives would be if I was not around?