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today when i woke up from a wonderful dream i thought i had heard a noise. i washed my face and headed out the back door at my parents house. i had to go because my brother wanted to see a movie and i tagged along and when it finished i joined him to my parents with nothing but the clothes on me and my handy dandy iphone. after stepping outside i heard a clank. i asked myself; what is that noise?! it turns out it was three kittens. i was only able to get a hold of one while the others scrambled. it was funny because the other two ran one way and the one i caught ran into a box and it looked like he was disappointed from being caught. lol. it got me thinking while i held it in my hands; “wow! i have a small living organism in my hands right now.” for that moment i realized it was safe in my hands then from the world beyond my hands. if need be; i was able to protect a life. it also reminded me of what i used to do with you, i tried to protect you secretively. just so if something were to go wrong i always played out the senario out in my head for everything. i am just paranoid about life sometimes.

“life. it is so precious.”

i was also remembered of this test i took recently for a job to help lives. i was asked a question about my life, i answered as truthfully as i could. i did and i am in. as the day went on the day involved more lives to enter in my view. for the first time in many months we were all together. in a way that brought a smile to my face and the almost feeling of having something in my eye. ever since i was told, i have been more appreciative of all life. now with my current position i am able to help those who just need a little push in the right direction. i show what good can come. i think i found my niche. everyone has their own story to tell and it is interesting to listen. i know there are days where i need to talk but from a philosophical point i just need someone to hear me out and i would take what ever is told to me in consideration. even though i have been shut out from somethings i still have a lot to learn. given the opportunity i will continue to help others. i was asked why that makes me happy this weekend and my response to my brother was i like seeing people happy, if i can make one change and that person carries it on to another then i have just started a chain. if i were to help a hundred people and more then half carried it on that is still okay with me because i would know i made the attempt to help when no one else ever would. he was stunned by my answer; speechless to be exact.

after joining my visiting parents to the store, i saw a bunch of camping gear and now trying to plan a camping trip. it has been over two years now since i have been. it is now that time to reconnect with nature. i hope i can get it before turkey day or before winter is here. it is getting late now and have a busy day tomorrow. i hope all had a great day. good night and sweet dreams.

O_o

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