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i think i have a slight guess of what you may be saying. you did what you did because you had too. maybe you should forgive yourself but that is just me thinking out load. i don’t want what happened to make you want to crumble because of me. i know you well enough to know you are strong and you have proven to me that you are capable of doing extraordinary things, with help or without. i did all i could to make you see that and it showed. maybe i was just a stepping stone for you to see the full potential that you have in you. i do wish the best for you. i can’t dictate what my heart wants but can only decide to do this out of the kindness of my heart. good luck with everything.

in other related news, i received a phone call after work with a few questions that followed. it was one of the applications i put in along with my resume and was asked if it was current, i didn’t realize it was over a year an a half old that i hadn’t updated the thing. maybe now with an updated form of my last year, i can show what i have come to accomplish. i have been exhausted these past two days from only getting several hours of sleep, not the full requirement. i feel so old that instead of me taking a nap today, i actually fell asleep for about four hours. the crazy thing is i am still very tired and i am already ready for bed. it is very early and i do wish all a good night and happy dreams.

really tired O_o

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