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i think i finally figured it out! i know what was said and i do believe it did have something to do with me. iam sure i did do something that i just realized from looking back these past few week(s). how stupid could i have been to do what i did and dian’t even realize i was subconsciously doing it. i know you were apologizing but to be honest i feel that i know now, i should be the one apologizing to you. everything i have written and told you was the truth. but again i hate myself now more then ever for doing what i did. if you are reading this it is because i think i was trying to show my parents that you were the right person for me. as we went on i kept getting scared to tell you how i truly felt about you, because of what you told me the first couple of weeks of being together. i thought i would wait for just the right and perfect moment to tell you. like i said i was super scared and i took a leap and you have been the only one to accept me for who i really am and my flaws (i hope.) and you have been the only one who has made me feel things i never knew existed and felt as if i was flying. the only thing i can say is i am very sorry. i didn’t understand then and it feels like i am understanding little by little now. i do hope that you can accept my apology and as you may know i have been very considerate of your feelings, i have tried to stay away from my computer to not post something that could ruin a friendship that i want to have with you. i still do care very much about you, just know i may not show it but i feel it. just in case you were wondering i got the internship, it is not at the place where i really wanted but they accepted me, i have been doing okay, nothing special besides the internship but just trying to get better. i hope you can understand. thanks for taking the time to read this; if you do.

sorry O_o

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