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some holiday this has been, a crappy one, i lay here writing this listen to music loudly because no one is here to tell me to turn it down. it started off with my parents arriving way early in the morning and deciding to leave when the sunrise would appear. they were telling me what they were going to do but was barely paying attention, i was halfway dreaming and half way awake. then *poof* they were gone. when i awoke i thought it was a lucid dream, it felt super real. well in reality it was. woke up to a dark and cold lonely deserted house with my dog sleeping near me, he looked so peaceful; dreaming of bones and swimming, that i tried to get up quietly and tried not to wake him. he senses me when i wake up all the time, as if we have a connected energy field that are simultaneously in sync with each other, he stretches then i stretch or vise versa. this is a trait or gift that i have with all living things. after that i get up and start on my homework.

after some time working the little guy says *rawr* and decide to make some brunch. decided to make something quick and made some tacos and gave him his portion of food for his brunch with a side dish of water. then went back to work.  a few hours later it was dinner time, didn’t have much to prep since i wasn’t feeding an army this time around but just for one and his dog. all i could find in the fridge was red meat and red meat products and discovered a hidden package that was successfully chicken, threw that together and prepped his next portion for dinner and his ice cold water. during that i open my computer and threw it on netflix, we began watching old school videos that popped up on the instant watch list. while watching that he decided to join me on the couch and lay across my legs to watch the movie. that movie brought back a lot of childhood memories.

on of the things on the movie towards the end was very intriguing to me, it was said that “things happen in your life that you can’t stop but it’s no reason to shut out the world” – crazy pete sims, which i now find to be very true, i have shut out a lot of people in my life in the past but after a certain incident i changed who i was and changed into the person i am and all know today. i learned to never hold grudges, to be considerate, also that the world doesn’t revolve around me and lots more. i have accepted a lot of imperfections i carry on my shoulders but pick up more weight each time i accept any, a repeating cycle that i think will never stop. i think! with each passing day i see what i see and do what i do to make the attempt to be on top, the struggle and mountain is there, but i know one day i can conquer it. as well as other mountain climbing expeditions that may come in my path of stepping. in conclusion i was just reminiscing and am wondering what will happen when the drive is complete? i don’t know and wonder if i should be afraid?!

to the now O_o

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